


Complications in a Hidden Boy

by Lanceisthebest



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Battle, Black Paladin Lance (Voltron), Blood, Injured Lance (Voltron), Kidnapping, Langst, Leader lance, M/M, Missing Lance, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Psychological Torture, Self-Sacrifice, Sickfic, Torture, Whump, get the tissues, kangst, kinda slowburn, lots o action but also lots of heartfelt shit, missing shiro, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-10-17 14:16:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 76,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10595730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lanceisthebest/pseuds/Lanceisthebest
Summary: Shiro's gone and the paladins are determined to get him back. Lance has a lot on his plate, like the pain of injuries obtained in battle and the title as leader he gained from Keith.Relationships grow and a support system is formed between Keith and Lance. A Strong friendship keeps them both in check but questions pop up on if there is something more to their relationship.Things go wrong during a rescue mission for shiro and it leaves Keith and the other paladin's dazed and scared over the fate of Lance.(prepare for the Angst/Langst)





	1. Questioning the Entire History of Him

**Author's Note:**

> Basically my interpretation of what could happen in season three, though unfortunately lotor or haggar will not be explored in this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter! sorry it's so long. I hope yall enjoy!

It was hard to locate where it was coming from, the eeriness. The silence, the stillness, or something completely undetectable to the eye or ear. The Castle of Lions was stagnant compared to the usual training sessions, meetings, disagreements, and excitement.

They all sat around the couch, not daring to say anything; taking quiet bets on who would talk. Usually the person to speak would be… shiro. 

“Guys,”’ lance finally dared. His words were like speakers against the minutes of previous silence. “What do we do now? Like, where do we look? Does anyone know what happened, or if zarkon is dead, or if we beat the g-garla?” he stuttered, his throat dry and tight. His chest hurt with every breath he took, but He continued on anyway. “We can't form voltron without him. So how do we get him back if we don't form voltron? We can't fight without voltron. Do we look for another paladin?... what do we do? I get that w-”

“Lance,” allura interrupted. Her eyes looked distant and heavy. “We don't know. We know everything you do.”

Lance hung his head, feeling like he was scolded by a mother.

“Right…”

“But he’s right to ask,” Hunk spoke up. “ What’s our game plan?”

“May-maybe there is a camera, or information log in the black lion. I can access it if i find one.” Pidge said, dried tear tracks upon her cheeks.

“That would be great, at least it's a start,” said Coran, finally speaking up.

Lance looked around the room. There was more hope than there had been minutes before, but the atmosphere was still heavy. Allura and pidge were keeping a steadily crippling strong face. Coran and hunks worry showed in their expressions.

Lance looked at keith. He had a total straight face, and still hasn't said anything. Keith was the first one to get to the black lion, and was the first one to see shiro's absence. It was no lie that Keith and shiro were very close, and lance would expect a motivational word from him, or at least a snarky comment, but it was just… nothing. Keith is refined, but this silence was different, worrying almost. 

“What about us? Shiro is our leader, what do we do now? Who will lead voltron?” Lance asked again, answered by silence all around the room.

The quietness was cut with a knife with the short, sharp toned words from Keith. “Shiro said that if anything happens to him, he wants me to lead voltron.” Lance tried to figure out his face again, but it was like stone.

Hunk sat up. “oh, okay. It makes sense. So tha-”

“I don't want to”. Keith said without looking up.

Pidges head shot up to look at him. “What? But i- shiro wants-”.

“I don't want to lead voltron. It shiro's job, i don't want to take it. Besides, i'm not much of a motivational speaker.” Keith's words were borderlining Angry, but never crossed the line. He seemed calmer than usual. It was strange.

“Bu- but. Shiro wanted you to! A- are you scared? He wanted you to!” pidge said with angry but pleading eyes. It reminded Lance of when pidge almost left voltron, and keith yelled at her with the same tone as pidge was using now.

Keith made no response. He exhaled silently and looked around the room. His eyes fell on Lance.

“Lance,” Keith said. “Why don't you do it?”

If it weren't for the uptight atmosphere, Lance would have laughed at the hilarious joke. Instead, he just stared at keith for an awkward amount of time, as did everyone else in the room.

“Me? Lead Voltron?” Lance questioned, realizing that keith never made jokes.

“You’re energetic enough to motivate us and i feel like you would be compatible with the black lion. Does anyone have any objections?”

Lance didn't know what was stranger, the fact that he might lead voltron, or the fact that keith kind of complimented him. “I Feel like it's wrong. Shiro wanted you to lead us. Isn't it like, going against him or whatever?”

“Why do you guys keep acting like he’s dead!? He just… isn't here. He isn't here to lead us, so what does it matter if we ‘go against him’?” he said, finally blowing up. 

Typical, Lance thought.

“So,” Keith said again. “Are there any objections?”

Everyone in the room gave a slight look of “no, but we don't want to say anything because you're scary.”

Lance looked up, feeling more confidant. “Okay, i'll do it.”

********  
There were still load to discus between the group, but it finally set in that they did it, they beat the galra. But doing so resulted in injuries to the lions, the castle, and the paladins themselves. 

Hunk may have a dislocated arm, pidge was numb in one of her knees, and allura believes lance has a concussion after he hit his head forcefully against his lion. He also had a cut on his face, but he couldn't tell how big it was. After the meeting he felt blood trickle down his face. He quickly turned away from the others and bandaged it so that wouldn't see the blood. His chest also hurt a bit, primarily when he breathed. Probably just a bruise. 

The only one unharmed was keith, who was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed. The damage to the castle temporarily disabled the cryopods, leaving everyone self diagnosing and covering their wounds.

The room felt foggy and dark, no one spoke to each other and they all avoided the chair shiro usually sat in, almost scared to see that he wasn't there. 

After checking in with everyone to see how bad they were injured, Lance went to his room to take a nap at alluras request. Almost banging into his room's door, he opened it with his hands. The automatic function must have been damaged due to the battle. 

He took a shower and changed into pajamas without even drying his hair all the way. Upon looking in the mirror, he saw the cut was much longer than he thought. He took off the sloppy and now wet bandage he forgot to take off before his shower, and put a neater, larger one on.

He laid his wet head down on the soft pillow in his bare room and thought about everything that happened in the past twenty four hours. It was so crazy, he could barely remember. Lance couldn't tell if his empty head was from the concussion or just from the hectic intensity of the big battle.

The fact that he is the leader of voltron now was an indescribable feeling. Lance couldn't even tell if he was guilty, or happy, or nervous. He still felt as if he was deceiving shiro. Why wouldn't keith lead voltron? Was he that selfish that he would push the responsibility on someone else, even though shiro specifically asked him?

With tired eyes and tired body, lance’s mind rang with theories, questions, and worries. His mind followed his eyes and body and became tired, pulling lance into dream free sleep.

******

“Hey, lance”

“Hnng”.

“Cmon, get up.”

Lance opened his heavy eyes to Pidge standing before him, gently shaking him awake. The last thing lance wants to do is leave his warm blanket nest.

“Man,” Lance said while rubbing his eyes. “Just gimme like five more minutes.”

“You told me five more minutes, twenty minutes ago. You’ve been sleeping for hours and Allura says you need to get up for a bit.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll be out in a minute,” lance said. Pidge gave him that oh-really look. “Pidge, my man, my buddy. When have i ever lied to you?”

Pidge barked out a sarcastic “HA”, and left the room.

Lance's head rang and the lights he forgot to turn off were blazing in his eyes. The adrenaline of battle was wearing off and the pain was finally dawning on him. How fun. He wanted to sit in bed forever, but he had to start planning with the crew.

Lance inspected himself in the mirror while changing. There was bruising along his torso, and the bandage he put on his face was soaked with blood. The cut stretched from the right side of his forehead and stopped in the middle of his left eyebrow. 

Every movement he made hurt. He was blinded by the brightness of the lights in his concussion induced sensitive eyes. He felt disorientated and clumsy, and his torso hurt with every breath he made. 

With his Signature 80’s blue and white shirt and blue jeans on, a new bandage in his forehead, and his body aching, he sat in the lounge where Allura, Keith, and Hunk were.

“‘Sup,” Lance said, still drowsy and craving his bed. He also realized that he was the most beat up of the bunch. Hunk had a sling on his arm, keith had a small gash on his eyebrow, and Allura had a selection of small cuts around her hand. Other than that, they seemed fine. 

“Hey,” Hunk said. “How was your six hour nap?”

“Shit, six hours? Felt like it was only five,” lance replied with a hint of sarcasm. “What's going on now?”

Allura, who was previously standing against the wall, walked over to where couches are. “I need to locate the places the castle took damage in,” Allura said. “So far i know that the particle barrier is broken an-”

“And we all know painfully well that the cryopods aren’t working; pun intended,” lance said while smirking. No one laughed. 

“... uh, yes. Speaking of which, how is your head?” 

“Good, good,” Lance lied. “Why did you wake me up?” 

“We have to monitor you. Your concussion is a nasty one and we need to make sure that that's what it is, and that it doesn't get worse.”

“Monitor huh? You like what you see?” Keith and Hunk groaned. 

“No i don't actually, you look particularly unwell,” Allura said, pretending to not get what Lance actually meant. “I didn't see that cut on your face before.”

“What, this? Its nothing, i'm fine,” he lied again.

"Well you look horrible,” Keith said cooly. 

“You're just jealous that my cut is cooler than yours.” Lance exclaimed, receiving a scoff from Keith, who had gotten a small cut on his right eyebrow. “It's not that bad. I Dont think its too deep,” Lance said to hunk who looked worked.

The lights in the room where still bright and bothered his eyes that won't adjust to them. Looking at them made him start to sneeze, which wouldn't have bothered him if it hadn't been for what happened next. The second he deeply inhaled, he felt one of the worst pains he has ever felt. his ribs felt like they were collapsing in on him and he couldn't breath. It felt like his lungs were trying to break out of his body.

Taken back by the pain, Lance yelped and his knees buckled. Luckily, there was a couch there and he fell onto that, unluckily, falling hard on the couch made is head, ribs, and every muscle on his body howl with pain. He gave a small groan. 

He opened his eyes and saw Allura, Hunk, and even Keith looking at him with worry. 

“I’m okay, my knees just gave out. I'm fine,” lance said, but the three didn't believe him. They kept looking at him. He wanted them to stop.

“i think you have a broken rib,” Keith pointed out.

“Nah man, i'm good,” he said again, until he tried to sink back down into the couch and was welcomed by another yelp of pain from his rib cage. “Ow, okay, Yeah maybe.”

“i'll have coran put pain medication and ice packs in your room,” Allura demanded. “Next time, can you be more vocal about your injuries?”

”Hey, don't scold me. How am I supposed to know what a broken rib feels like? It's not like I would break a rib everyday. But that's changed now since you basically kidnapped me from the comfort of earth and forced me to fight some dangerous battle I had no part in!” Lance said, actually angry. He didn't mean to say this outloud, it was like he had no filter at the moment. 

No one really said anything, and felt awkward in the presence of a cranky Lance. The harsh cocktail of all his injuries didn't make him the happiest in that time and place. 

“Anyway,” Lance said, trying to break the tension. He was calm now and felt bad for snapping. He didn't know why he snapped in the first place. “ Where are Pidge and Coran?”

“Pidge is doing some inspection on the black Lion,” hunk responded quickly. “Coran is off checking some of the castles systems.” 

“Can one of you get them? We should begin planning.” 

***************

Minutes later, everyone was gathered around the couches yet again, all looking at lance. It felt weird giving people orders and being the one obligated to speak; Lance doesn’t know how Shiro does it.

“Okay,” Lance said to all of them. The eeriness and tension could still be felt floating in the air, but they knew that this could only be defeated by the Black paladin, home and safe. 

“Allura and Coran, what did you find out about the castle of lions?”

“Only 42% of the castles services are damaged, 17% are completely down,” answered Coran, Looking at the blue Altean digital screen. “ It could be much worse,” He assured them. Coran looked the most hopeful and energetic of the bunch, as he usually did. Lance wondered if it was to mask the fact that he was scared of what was to happen to Shiro. 

“In that 17% are the cryopods, particle barrier, and other smaller things,” Allura added. “Some of our weapons are damaged, along side Heating in some rooms, and communication systems. The lighting, plumbing, training decks, and kitchen are all working.” the last comment got a fist pump from Hunk.

Once she finished talking, the room went silent. All eyes wandered to Lance but he didn't realize why for a few seconds. He now appreciated Shiro's ability to lead the group and always have something to say. “Oh! Yeah, good. How long until the cryopods and defenses are up and running?”

“ A week,” she said, followed by groans from others in the group.

“I have to have this stupid Sling on for a week?” Hunk complained. “I can't cook like that! I can't make repairs like that!”

Lances bad attitude and shitty mood in that moment made him feel a tang of annoyance at hunk. Oh please, he thought. You have a comfy sling to rest your arm in, meanwhile i can’t breath, i'm so dizzy i can barely make out your face, and i'm gonna have a thick scar going across my forehead.

“No one is happy that the castle is all messed up, but i guess we can use that week to train, heal and plan.” Lance said outloud, Automatically feeling guilty for what he thought. He knew that if he was in a better mood and a different situation, he would be complaining alongside hunk. “Pidge, did you find anything helpful in the black lion?”

Everyone turned their gaze on Pidge, hopefully awaiting her response. This was the one question the team had been waiting for the most, and each second lance talked about the ship was another second the whole team spent in anticipation. 

“Kind of,” Pidge said. She straightened her glasses the way she did when she was about to give some sort of complex explanation. “I found a way to put the lions thoughts into more of an understandable language for us. Part of the lions connection with us is that they can monitor our feelings and physical health. For the five minutes before shiro went radio silent, his heartbeat and vital signs were steady, with only a slight increase from the intensity from the battle.” She Paused for a second. “There was no flatline in the few seconds before he disappeared, so that means… Shiro is probably alive. But it also means that he just disappeared. There was no combat or injuries. He was just… gone.”

“You said you coded the lions thoughts,” Keith said. He was now sitting straighter and was taking interest in the conversation. “Is there any change there recently? Can we see what shiro is thinking, or maybe find his location through it?”

Pidge sighed. She looked tired and obviously worked for hours to get this information. Lance appreciated that. “Shiros physical and mental stats cut out the second he vanished. I don't think we can get much more information from the lion now.”

“Thanks pidge, at least it’s something,” Lance said. Everyone in the group looked neither more relaxed or more anxious. Pidges discoveries brought some hope to the paladins, as they knew he was probably alive. But it also raised several more questions, like Where is Shiro? Is he hurt? The group had no leads on where he may be, and this lack of information made them all nervous. But there has never been a battle they can't face, and they knew that if it comes to it, they will fight the most intense battle just to get shiro back.

“For the next few days everyone should take some healing time, but also help Allura and Coran with the ship's repairs. Keep an eye out on any Distress signals. Training will pick up when everyone feels up to it, i guess.” Lance was fading. His breathing hurt and his head was fuzzy. “Uhh, during the repair time we can look for any leads on Shiro's location, and we will go searching once most of the repairs to the ship are complete.” 

“Why is looking for shiro our last priority?” Keith asked. He was still sitting on the couch, farest away from lance. The new cut on his eyebrow made him look even more brooding than he already did. “He could be in trouble right now, or being tortured. I think we should look for him now while Coran and Allura repair the ship.”

“Yeah we’d get right on that,” Lance said. He was pretty sure the bandage on his forehead was bleeding through. “Y’know, if you were the leader. But you knew you couldn't live up to my amazing leadership skills, so shut your quiznap.”

“Whatever,” Keith mumbled, surprisingly reserved. “And i still don't think you are using that word correctly.” 

Lance glared at keith. “ Yeah? Well… i don't think you're using your… face… correctly!”

“Wow, witty response,” Keith scoffed. He shook his head slightly, getting hair out of his face. 

Lances breathing was so short he didn't even know if it should be considered breathing. Every sound caused ringing in his ears. “One last thing,” he said, craving a dark and quiet room. “I'm not going to pilot the black lion.” This was something lance thought about a lot before going to sleep earlier, in fact, he knew he wanted to stick with the blue lion since keith made him leader which felt like years ago. The paladins looked up at him, looking alarmed and confused. 

“But you're the head of voltron!” hunk said. “Isn't that like the whole thing? Like… You're the head of us because you're the leader, and the black lion is the head of voltron. Thats… thats right, right? “

“There are only four of us. We can't form voltron so it doesn't matter who is what. I’ll be the leader, but i'm sticking with old Blue,” lance said. He didn't spend much time looking at their faces or trying to read their expressions. Part of that was because he couldn't even see them with his sensitive eyes and dizziness plaguing his senses. “So, uh, meeting dismissed, or whatever.”

The team got up from the couches slowly, without saying a word. Lance sighed. That was the most stressful thing he has had to do since his Garrison entrance exam. 

Lance walked through the halls, trying to get to his room. It felt like years until he reached it, but in reality it was extremely close by. His head spun and his breathing rasped weakly upon his ribs. 

Lance finally got to his room. The second he closed the door, he slouched over and sighed. He didn't know if he could keep this up. Being the leader, being responsible for the paladins and their lives, it was too much for lance. 

Fatigued and in pain, he fell onto the floor in a combination of uncoordinated movements, smacking into the ground hard and sudden. Every Muscle and inch of his body was aching. His breathing got even more harsh. The pain was so bad that he didn't want to risk it getting worse. 

With tears of pain and anger stinging his eyes, Lance stayed on the cold floor, Not thinking he deserved to get up.

************* 

Keith woke up at two in the morning after the meeting, a usual nightmare pulling him from sleep. He sat on the edge of his bed in the dark, twirling his knife around in his fingers.

The truth is that keith is terrified. The loss of the one person he relied on shook him to his core; it made keith doubt himself as a paladin, and wonder if he could protect the others. This is the reason he gave control over to lance. If keith couldn’t protect the one person he wanted to protect the most, how could he protect anyone? Why he gave lance specifically the lead, he didn't know. He would like to say that he picked lance at random, but there was some aspect that made keith choose him over anyone else.

Keith got up and showered, deciding that he couldn't go back to sleep. The only injury he had was a small cut on his eyebrow and minor bruising on both of his arms. He felt weirdly guilty about this. Physically, he was the best person to lead to group right now, yet he gave the lead to the most beat up person. Lance seemed to be hiding his injuries for some reason, maybe he didn't want to be seen as weak in his new position as leader, or maybe he is just acting as lance does and he doesn't want them to worry.

Pulling on his black v neck t-shirt, jeans, and boots he aimlessly walked around the castle. When he got to the kitchen hours later, Hunk was awake and in his pajamas. It looked like he was making pancakes. 

“Are you really cooking right now?” Keith said from behind him. Hunk shouted and stifled a curse. 

“WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?” Hunk yelled. “How did you walk in so quietly?” Keith shrugged and went to leave the room. “Oh, while you're here, can you crack those eggs?” He asked. Keith realized that Hunk had his sling on and was struggling to crack the eggs cleanly with only one hand.

“Yeah, i guess,” Keith said, as He knew hunk was frustrated at the restriction with his arm so he might as well help. He took position at the counter and cracked each egg cleanly and with precision. 

“Did the Blade of Marmora teach you some sort of ancient galra egg cracking technique or something?” Hunk asked, admiring Keith's egg cracking excellence. 

With a slightly proud smirk, Keith explained. “I was on my own for a while and i can’t cook much. i basically lived off of eggs.”

One by one everyone in the castle woke up. Pidge stumbled in not long after hunk woke up, already dressed and anxious to start repairs. Next was Allura who was also anxious to start the day. Coran woke up right when hunk finished his pancakes. Despide Pidge and Allura’s desire to start repairs right away, Hunk demanded they sit down and eat. 

“Wheres lance?” Hunk asked, finally noticing the empty chair. Well, two empty chairs. Shiros and Lance's chairs both sat cold and unused. 

“Still sleeping probably,” Pidge said while putting gloves on to prepare for a day of work. 

“Should someone wake him?” asked Coran.

“We should let him get his sleep. I don't want him to do much work for a few days, he might make his injuries worse,” Allura pointed out. “Can one of you drop some things off in his room, though?”

Upon a silent room and no voluntears, “Keith?” Allura said, demanding politely. 

“Fine,” Keith grunted, not wanting to walk all the way back to the dorms.

With a tray full of bandages, pain relievers and a plate of hunks pancakes, Keith walked down the long hall. His feet clattered against the metal and echoed down the hall. What has lance ever done for me? Keith thought grouchily. He’s saved your life. Multiple times, another voice in his head thought. 

With the automatic opening doors down, Keith knocked slightly on the door across the hall from keith's own dorm. Upon no response he silently entered the room to see lance sprawled out on the floor. He didn't know wether to laugh or be worried.

“Lance,” Keith said, trying to wake him. With no response from from him, he was starting to get worried. “Lance,” He said again while shaking his arm. Keith rolled him over and checked for breathing. With sharp and harsh breaths, but to keith's immense relief, lance was breathing.

“What are you doing in my room?” Lance said weakly, his eyes fluttering open and his voice groggy from sleep.

“Making sure you aren’t dead,” keith said, trying to hide the look of relief on his face. “Why are you on the floor?” He was kneeling on the ground next to lance.

“It’s Nice down here,” His eyes starting to close again, craving sleep. His hair was matted down in the place his head rested uncomfortably on the hard floor.

Keith thought for a moment, then shook his hair out of his face and put both his arms under lances’, being careful not to touch his ribs. In a clumsy fit of movements, he lifted him onto his bed. 

“Ow,” Lance winced, awake again. Keith put a pillow under him and awkwardly covered him in a blanket in a weirdly violent motion. “That was weird. I never want to be that physically close to you ever again.”

“Your head is bleeding,” Keith said, ignoring what lance said and noticing the thickly reddened bandage upon his forehead.

“Way to make an observation, einstein.”

“That's the second time i have carried your unconscious body and i still don’t get any gratitude.”

“Hey, i didn’t ask you to move me. I was enjoying the floor,” Lance said, lying. His whole body ached from the hard floor, plus all the various injuries. The bed he was now lying in was such a comfortable contrast from where he lay just seconds ago.

“Take these,” keith said, handing him a glass of water and a handful of pills from the tray. He gave lance another pillow and helped him prop himself up. While lance did that, keith moved a chair over to his bed and sat down. He unraveled the bandage on his head and disinfected the long cut. 

“What are you doing?” Lanced asked, swallowing the last pill. “Did you not hear me when i said ‘I never want to be that physically close to you ever again’?”

Keith was actually surprised at how long and deep the cut was. Lance definitely should have gotten stitches. “This is pretty bad, man.” 

“Its barely anything,” lance said stubbornly. “S’not that bad.” He tried to jerk his head away from keith, not wanting him to look anymore. Keith wasn't having it, and kept applying the bandage. Lance was kind of weirded out by him actually acting concerned, well, acting concerned in his own pent up way.

“Why were you on the floor, foreal?” Keith asked again. He was worried when he walked in and saw lance with no signs of life. It was a wake up call to how bad lance actually was, and he needed an answer.

The last thing lance wanted to do was tell him. Honestly, lance just wanted to be alone and in the dark of his room. Having keith in here was like a constant stress being held over him. The feeling of obligation was present, as he felt like he owed keith something for making him leader. But lance didn't ask for this. Why would he need to thank someone for giving him the thing that's eating himself up inside? “I don’t know,” he said, moving his blue eyes to be fixed anywhere but on Keith. 

“You don't know?” Keith said. “Bullshit.” 

“Why do you even care? It doesn't matter!” In a fit of anger Lance smacked away the hand that was bandaging his head.

“Well i think you owe me an explanation after i walk into your room, thinking you're dead for a solid thirty seconds!” Keith said, trying not to get mad but failing. These boys can't get past five minutes without yelling at each other; not much has changed after all.

“I don't owe you jack-shit!” Lance yelled. He strained himself with the scream and his eyes fuzzed. His head swirled and even his ribs were throbbing. He felt weird, like he wasn't himself. It could be a mix of the concussion and just being in a bad mood. But deep down he was just saying the stuff he never had the guts to say aloud. “You probably just want to be better than me. Cause i'm a fuck up and you want to seem stronger than me, right? God, what am i even doing on this team?!”

“What are you talking about? Can’t you just tell me?” Keith said. His voice was calmer and lowered. He felt responsible for the wince lance was trying to hide and he realized that yelling wasn't the best for the both of them. What lance said was both confusing and alarming, he wasn't acting like himself. Yelling at keith was normal with lance, but hitting his hand away and self deprecation was certainly not.

The tone of keiths voice was weirdly soothing after the loud environment. The bandage he started was swinging from lance's head, abandoned by him after the conflict. “After the meeting I was dizzy from blood loss and my concussion, i think. And i wasn't breathing too well. I fell over hard and i just couldn't get up.” Lance closed his eyes and sunk back into the mound of pillows behind him. His voice was mumbled. “You happy now?”

"You were there all night? Why didn’t you call one of us over? My room is right there, i would’ve heard you.” Keith said. He tucked his long black hair hair behind his ears. Lances answer didn't surprise him, he assumed something like that happened, but what did surprise him was lances stuberness to ask for help, and to give keith a straight up answer as to what happened. It was slightly scary.

“I dunno,” Lance mumbled. Still lying with his eyes closed shut, he focused on the hands that finally joined back up with the loose bandage. “Everyone had a long day, i didn’t wanna bother or worry anyone.”

“You, bloody on the floor is more of a priority than everyone being a little tired,” said keith, securing the long bandage in place against lance’s growing hair. Upon the cut being rewrapped, keith relaxed in the chair he was already sitting in.

“Keith,” Lance began, opening his eyes and looking up at him. He was greeted by keith's eyes filled with concern which was a new look on him. The only time he saw that was the small memories he had of keith carrying him to the cryopod after the galra invaded the castle. “I appreciate all of this, okay? Helping me up, cleaning me up, the… yelling with good intentions… But i'm fine. It-It's not that bad.”

Lance was tempted to open up. To spill his guts and tell keith how bad he felt. How weak and tired he was. But he just couldn't. Keith one upped him at everything. Lance tries so hard, but he is always better, and doesn't even realise they are competing. The truth was that, lance was scared he would be booted off the team if he wasn't okay. He was the least valuable part of them all and if he was injured, why would they wait for someone who had nothing to offer? 

“I just was tired and lost my balance. Focus on training and the ship, I don't want you guys being distracted,” Lance finished. He felt tears in his eyes for the second time, for the same reasons. Frustration, self doubt, It was destroying lance.

Keith sighed. He didn't know what to do. Lance was hidden away, he wasn't going to share much more with keith, but he still wanted to keep pushing. He looked for some information, any information on what lance was doing, and why he was starting to completely isolate.

“I- just… Can you just take it easy? Don't work for a few days,” Keith said, starting to give up. “You’re hurt bad lance, you're not invinca-” 

“I’m Tired,” Lance said. He just needed to be alone. Lance was frustrated and confused. Keith was acting so uncharacteristically towards lance. Why would he care what he does? Lance was so blinded in that moment that he wondered if there was some sort of ulterior motive at hand.

“Lance,” Keith said. 

“I’m really tired,” Lance said. He knew he wasn't acting like himself, and he knew keith was probably confused as hell. He started to feel guilty for yelling at him earlier, but at the same time he wish he never told him what happened. He felt pitied, he felt useless. Lance wanted to go back in time and never say anything. He wanted to go back in time and muster up the strength to get up onto the bed by himself. “I’m sorry, Keith.”

Taking the hint, keith left, turning off the light on his way out. He needed to figure out the puzzle of lance. He needed to figure out why the usually energetic and hyped up lance has transformed into someone who seemed so tired and unmotivated. The six minutes he just spent in lance's room made him question the entire time they have known each other. 

*********

Hours later, Keith was helping Pidge at rewiring some of the ships panels. He didn't even know there was technology involved at making the ship work. He assumed it was magic or something.

“Okay what do i do next?” Keith asked inside the cramped air duct like tunel the wires were laid out on. 

“Okay,” Pidge said from above, guiding Keith through it. “Do you see the red wire across from the green and blue one?”

Looking at the cocktail of jumbled up wires of various colours, Keith couldn't be more confused “uh, no?”

“It should be near the secondary set of orange wires near the top of the fifth panel,” Pidge said, trying to help.

“Oh. Wait, the what?”

“Ughh,” Pidge grunted, “Just come back up i’ll have you do something else.”

After climbing pack up and joining Pidge, Keith was sweaty and tired. “You’re smaller than me, why don't you go down there?”

“Because while the wires are redone i basically have to reprogram them, unless you want to do that?”

With one look at the altean futuristic program board Pidge was looking it, keith said “Nah, i'm good.”

“I thought so. Go get hunk,” pidge said, basically asking him to get out.

“His arms all messed up.”

“Hunk with one arm is more useful than you with three.” 

Keith walked to the kitchen, looking for hunk. He was still a bit frazzled after seeing lance. There were so many theories and questions in his mind. Maybe keith was just being dramatic. Lance had a very set and predictable personality and he acted different from it today, so maybe keith was blowing it was out of proportion.

Could it have been the concussion, or maybe he was just in a weird mood because he just woke up? But maybe lance was just… tired. They just got out of a bad battle, plus the loss of shiro. Suddenly this boy is the leader of the team, and lance could just be overwhelmed. 

Keith was brantley worried. Lance wasn't getting the help he needed and he was refusing to ask for it. He wondered what what happen when lance left his room later on. But for now, keith tried to put it out of his head.

Hunk was in the kitchen, fidgeting with some drawer next to the drink dispensers, unaware of keiths presence. He quietly sneaked up behind him, and right when he was over hunks shoulder he said “Whatcha doin?”

The noise hunk emitted sounded like something from a animal. He threw his tool kit into the air and it fell with a crash; keith couldn't help but laugh.

“Someone needs to put a bell on you,” hunk said grouchily, picking up his kit.

“Pidge is looking for you,” Keith said with his arms crossed, who got his jacket from his room after leaving lances’. “She needs help rewiring things.

“Did she kick you out?” Hunk asked with a knowing smirk.

“I- no. okay, maybe. It doesn’t matter. Pidge is asking for you,” He repeated.

***********

After Keith left, Lance stared at the wall. He thought he would sit there and sob for some unexplainable reason, but instead he just looked at the corner of his room and tried to clear his head.

Even he wasn't sure why he was acting that way. He was aware he acted uncharacteristically and he knew keith was confused. Keith came in and helped lance. Helping him up and even rebandaging him, but lance acted even more snarky than he usually did towards him. He felt bad for smacking keith's hand, for admitting his feelings on keith by saying ‘you probably just want to be better than me. Cause i'm a fuck up and you want to seem stronger than me, right?’, and for utterly dismissing him and ignoring the fact that he helped lance. 

Laying back and watching the others work while filled with self pity wasn't an option for Lance. As much as he might complain about working sometimes, he was the leader now and their friend is missing. He needed to do what he could to propel the team.

Lance got out of bed clumsily, swinging one leg after the other off the mattress then sitting up, getting his bearings. Almost tripping on the chair keith left by his bed, lance stood up fully. While walking over to the wall and groping it for longer than he cared to admit, lance found the light switch in the dark. Either way he couldn't see. The blazing lights in the sensitive eyes of his concussed head caused as much visibility as the darkness did.

With his eyes adjusting to the burning lights, his lungs adjusting to the short breaths used to avoid rib pain, and the bleeding cut on his head adjusting to the new gravity, lance stood there in the middle of the room.

After he could actually see, Lance stepped over the chair and looked into his mirror. His clothes were wrinkled from falling asleep without changing, his hair was stuck against his head from the bandage holding it down tightly, and his hair was getting pretty long too. Keith actually did a good job at bandaging, it was secure and it wasn't bleeding through. Even with showering no longer than twelve hours ago, lance still felt dirty. “Lookin good,” he said in a pained and sarcastic voice. 

Lance didn’t change or try and do anything about his hair, he decided he looked well enough. With a glance over at the tray keith brought in, lance felt bad that he forgot to eat hunks pancakes. They were cold by now, but he ate them anyway while he leaned against the wall of his room. “Hunk, you’ve done it again,” he said aloud. The deliciousness of the food shone past the coldness of it.

Leaving his room, lance almost smacked into the door, remember that the damage to the castle enable its automatic opening feature. Laughing at the thought of making his concussion worse, he made his way to find the others.

The first people he found were hunk and pidge, working on rewiring. 

“Morning, guys,” Lance said. When he saw them in the room he straightened his back and tried to look more awake.

“Well, more like late afternoon,” Pidge said, not taking her eyes off the control panel.

“I always forget earth time is still relevant ,” Hunk said, a slight smile on his face after seeing lance awake. “I look at my watch and i'm like ‘Oh yeah, times a thing still.’” 

“A riveting insight to the mind of hunk,” Lance joked. “So what can i help with?”

“You know how to rewire an ancient altean spaceship?” Pidge asked.

“I'm afraid not, i skipped the ‘10,000 year old alien space ship repair’ class at the garrison.” sarcasm rang in his voice. 

“Allura is in the infirmary, working on the cryopods. Coran is replacing some teleduv lenses. You can go ask them if they need help maybe,” Pidge suggested. Her eyes had bags under them; it made lance wonder how long she slept and how long she has been working on these repairs.

“And… Keith?” lance asked wearily.

“I don't know honestly. He's around i guess.”

“Did you kick him out?” lance had that same knowing smirk on that hunk had when he asked keith the same question.

“Hell yeah,” pidge said. She high fived lance and it reminded him of the time they trained together in the garrison. Despite being stressful, those are some of the greatest memories.

Lance made his way to the teleduv room to find work. After Coran informed him that he was done there and needed no help, he made his way to allura. She was healing the cryopods and told him that only an Altean could work on them. She also said that the pods wouldn't be up for another week or so. 

Lance's heart sank at this. He was ready to get healed and not have to worry about his injuries, or have to deal with keith suspicions. “You should get some rest,” he said in response to her tired looking eyes that he just noticed. “It’s okay if you can't get them up now. None of us are gravely injured so it doesn't matter, i guess.” Hypocrite, lance called himself. You yell at someone for telling you to take it easy, but here you are telling someone else the exact same thing.

Allura gave him a caring smile and thanked him for his concern (Which is what i should have done to keith, lance thought). She assured him that she is only pushing herself as far as she can without injury, and that if she works herself too hard she will take a break.

Still jobless and not knowing what to do, Lance went down to the kitchen. It was about dinner time and hunk still seemed to be occupied, so he figured he would make some food for them all.

Upon entering the kitchen, he saw Keith there and wanted to turn around immediately. Unfortunately, keith saw him to, so it was too late. “Hey,” Lance said, trying to start a normal conversation. “Whatcha doin in here?”

Keith shrugged, an unreadable expression upon his face. “No one else needed me so i’ve just been switching rooms, being bored. What are you doing?”

“Same,” lance replied to their similar situations. “I was gonna make some dinner. Got nothing better to do.”

With a scoff, keith said “You can cook?” He had his arms crossed and his feet propped up on the table he was sitting next to.

“Yeah,” Lance said with a smirk. “I know what you’re thinking, ‘Lance can cook? Wow what can’t he do perfectly?’ And the answer is, nothing.” 

Keith squinted his eyes at lance. Two hours ago lance was a hurt, defensive puddle of self doubt, and now he is back to the arrogance and suaveness of his usual self. He could not figure this boy out. “I wasn’t thinking anything of the like.”

“Of course you were,” Lance said, rummaging through the cabinets and drawers of the futuristic kitchen. Most of the things were completely new and different to anything he had ever seen, but every once and awhile he came across something that looked or tasted similar to earth food. 

“Do you… need help?” Keith asked skeptically. 

“You? Cooking? That would be a sight, but i'm fine,” Lance said, trying to brush off the subject of help, or injuries, or an injured lance who needs help.

************

Forkes clattered through the dining room, the smell of spices rang free. The castle was full of happiness after a day of repairs. 

“You’ve done it again,” Hunk said to lance with his mouth full. Everyone seemed to be enjoying the food and happiness flooded lance. For the first time in the past day, the pain of his injuries were only background noise in his head.

“How much progress was made today?” Lance asked after plates began to get scraped clean by forks. 

“The teleduv is in top top shape, barely any cracks!” Coran said, finishing his second plate. “The particle barrier needs the most work, i'll get on that tomorrow with the help of you young paladins.”

“Nice job, Coran,” Lance praised him. “Hunk, pidge, How far did you guys get?”

“Fixed the heating and rebooted some of the faulty systems, sir!” Pidge said in a mockingly obedient voice. 

“Okay good,” Lance said. “But never call me sir again.”

“Whatever you say, sir,” Pidge joked.

“How are the cryopods doing, allura?” Lance asked, glaring at pidge. 

“Only 20% recharged. I should be done fixing them in a few quinants. With both me and the crystal charging, its slowing it down a bit.”

“That’s fine,” Lance said, secretly wanting to get healed as fast as possible. It brought attention to his breathing and he just then noticed how short his breaths were, how cloudy his head felt, how woozy his whole body felt. “What needs to get done tomorrow?”

“The particle barrier should be your top priority. Even with zarkon gone, we should still expect attacks,” Allura said. 

“Coran,” Lace said. “How can we help to bring it back up and running?”

“I’ll need help lugging all the spare parts from the bottom level up to this floor. I hope you boys enjoyed your day off, because there's lots of work that needs to be done now,” Coran said, talking to keith and lance. 

“Terrific,” keith said sarcastically.

At this lance felt conflicted. He knew he should be resting, as overworking could make his injuries worse, if possible. But he knew he would go mad if he sat around with nothing to do.

“Lance, you should do something less labor intensive. Why don't you assist pidge instead?” Allura said, apparently being true to not wanting him to work. 

Lance smirked stubbornly and flexed his bicep (which actually hurt, ironically). “With big guns like these, I can bring up anything you have down there. Besides, i'd probably get in pidges way.”

Allura have gave him a quizzical look, but said nothing else. 

The table got up a few minutes later. Dishes were piled up and lance got a few pats on the back for a delicious meal. Proud of himself for making something with the weird altean food, and happy he got to show them one of his skills, lance was fulfilled with how the evening went. Besides the relentless happiness, lance was totally wiped out and felt like sleeping for years. He had been spending the most of the past day and a half sleeping, and hasn't even done anything too exertive. He questioned his tiredness and tried to ignore it, bringing the plates back to the kitchen, trying to power through and get the washing done.

Standing at the sink with uncomfortable rubber gloves and a slightly damp t shirt, lance felt like he was about to go to sleep right there. He was even washing some of the dishes with his head on his shoulder and his eyes closed. Apparently someone took notice. 

“I got it,” Keith said, entering the room. “Go rest.”

“Nah i got it,” Lance said with a tiredly slurred voice. 

“Shut up and go to sleep,” He demanded again. “I’ll do it.”

About to protest again, lance looked over at keith and changed his mind once he looked at the sternly meaningful face he was presenting. “Thanks, Keith,” He said genuinely. “You’re a lifesaver.” After taking off the gloves and handing the sponge to keith, he gave him an appreciative pat on the shoulder and wished him goodnight. 

Getting a fresh pair of pajamas on and admiring the bandage still wrapped tight on his head, lance turned the light off and stumbled into the warm mess of blankets on the bed. As he soon drifted to sleep, he focused not on the pain in his body, but on his full stomach and the happiness he brought his friends that evening. 

***********

Coran was right about how much work they had to do. Every second hunk came to lance, asking for him to lug up some part they needed. It was strain on his neck, head, and every other part of his body. 

With the heavy pails of metal being carried up countless flights of stairs, lance was sure he was going to pass out every step he took. His breathing was the shortest it had been since he broke his ribs. The small window of time that he actually felt like he was healing had closed. He would be surprised if he didn't gain any new injuries. 

What didn't help his case was that keith was doing the same work as him. He struggled less with the big buckets and he climbed the stairs faster. And injured or not, lance wasn't going to let that slide.

They had been at this for about three days, with little breaks and little time for healing. Lance was so drained and so sapped of all energy that he could barely even comprehend where he was and what he was doing. 

They were currently on their third trip up of the day, and the load they were bringing up this time was the biggest and heaviest of them all.

“Hey keith,” he would call to him from a staircase below him. Every step or movement they made was rewarded with a loud echo in the tall stairway. It was dark and cold, contrasted by the warm sweat on both of their backs. 

“What?” keith echoed back with a grunt.

“I bet i can carry up my bucket faster than you can carry yours up!”

“Can you just shut up and do the work?” keith said. He knew that lances injuries were probably aching under all the pressure and he didn't want lance pushing himself further. 

“You’re just scared you’re gonna lose!” Keith made no reply and continued on his normal pace up the stairs. Lance however worked twice as hard just to get to the same staircase keith was on. By the time he got there his breath was raspy and could be audibly heard. His head started to swirl again and his movements felt so uncoordinated that if his feet weren't on autopilot from the repetitive stair climbing, he would have forgotten how to move.

After what felt like years of this heightened pace, lance passed keith on the staircase. He was drenched in sweat with the heavy bucket on hand. He made a small smile at keith after turning around victoriously to face him.

“Ha!” He panted. “Im… ahead of you now.” He gave a short, audible breath and then his eyes fuzzed over. For an instant, Lance completely blacked out. He felt his body start to fall down the continues flights of stairs. In the millisecond of movement he felt, he braced himself for the long painful fall. 

Lance opened his eyes in what felt like seconds later, awake from someone's warm touch. he was sitting on one of the stairs with hands holding his head up. 

“Lance,” a voice said from a mile away. “Can you hear me?” it said again. This time it was closer and more solid. He finally identified it as the voice of the person next to him, looking at him with worried eyes and holding him up with sturdy arms.

Keith was kneeling on the stair under the one lance was sitting on. Both of his hands were were on the sides of lance's head, the part of his hand uncovered by the gloves were resting steadily in his hair. 

“Dude,” lance said, gaining back his consciousness. “This whole ‘carrying me while i'm sleeping’ thing has to stop.” Keith gave a small half smile and moved his hands. “What happened?” 

“You passed out and i caught you before you fell down the stairs. You’ve only been out for a minute or two,” Keith said.

“Oh,” lance said. The fact that keith has seen him in so many moments of weakness made lance feel babied or pitied. He was embarrassed and needed to prove to keith that he was fine, which wasn’t true. “Better stop sitting around. Hunk needs these parts.” Lance got up using the little amount of strength he had left and picked up the bucket he put on the stair before he blacked. “C’mon.”

“I can bring your bucket up,” Keith said, knowing that lance would decline but he offered anyway. 

“Why? To prove you’re stronger than me or whatever? I got it.” Lance began climbing the stairs again. He didn't know why he said that, it reminded him of how he snapped at keith the night he fell on the floor. Lance couldn't see it at the time, but he said these snappy things because he was infuriated that he let someone see him hurt or in need. 

With his mind still dazed from his slight blackout and his whole body still aching, lance zoomed ahead of keith. He wanted to get away as fast as he could from the boy who sees his weakness; the boy who just wants to help; the boy who was standing on a stair, looking at lance with concern as he ran away from him.

******************

Ever since that incident, keith kept a close eye on lance. When He wasn't looking he would switch their buckets so lance got the lighter one. He made sure to tread a bit behind lance, so he could help him if he fell, and also so lance wouldn't feel challenged and work too hard. 

Keith wondered if the rest of the crew noticed how bad lance was. If they did, they wouldn't have put him on such a labor intensive job, right? Or maybe they just didn't care. Keith shook that idea out of his head, knowing that of course the team cared for lance. The only explanation was that lance was going to extremes to hide his injuries from the crew. Hell, keith wouldn't even know lance was injured if it hadnt been for the developing scar on his forehead and the two incidents where he had to carry his lifeless body, unsure if he was even alive.

He thought things would change after lance admitted that he was hurt when they talked in the kitchen, but lance didn't even acknowledge the fact that if it weren't for keith, he would have falled down countless flights of stairs and gotten even more injured, just because he was going to such extremes to prove himself and hide his injuries. 

Lance was in the kitchen currently. In the little breaks he had from hauling parts up many levels, he spent time cooking for the crew. He would sometimes force pidge and hunk to stop working and eat something. Just the other day lance grabbed them both by the hair and physically dragged them to the dining room. It was kind of heartwarming to see lance spend the only break time he had caring for his friends, but keith wished he would spend that time caring for himself.

Keith never would have pegged lance for the cooking type, but man, this boy made delicious food. The crew agreed and would wolf down a second plate of whatever he made soon after sitting down. It made keith wonder what else he could do. 

After a fine meal of grilled cheese and tomato soup, it was late at night and they were all tire, but that stopped no one from doing work.

Hunk gave a hefty burp and thanked lance yet again for blessing them with his cooking excellency. But right after that they were back to work mode. “Lance, can you bring up bin F-732?”

Keith looked at the previously wide lipped and happy looking lance, at hunks request he saw his smile falter and his eyes blink fast, but with no hesitation he said “No problem,” And stood up, walking to the long staircase.

After a few seconds, keith followed down the long twisting halls that lead to the staircases. 

“Why are you following me?”lance said, turning around to face keith after hearing his footsteps echoing in rhythm with his own.

“Because you aren't bringing it up. Go Actually sleep for the first time in two days. I got it,” keith demanded. 

“You’re not my mom, i can bring it up no problem,” Lance said with his arms crossed. 

“Lance,” Keith said, looking him in the eyes. “Let me help you.”

These words are almost trance inducing to lance. He got lost in the sweet tone of his voice and the gentleness of the words. He wanted to do just that, to let keith help him, but he remembered how many times he has already helped him and seen him at his worst. He broke out of the trance and looked at keith with a cold glare. “I don’t need help,” he said as he began to descend the staircases. Neither of them had their jackets on and the ir in the stairway was cold and chilling. The last thing lance wanted to do was carry the bin up, he actually dreaded it, but he had to do it.

Keith looked at him walk down the stairs until he couldn't see him anymore. He wondered how he could get through to him. If lance kept up at the work he was doing, he would never heal. He wouldn't get better and he would be stuck covering up more injuries to the point where he completely isolates himself.

Lance could get himself killed. He could get countless more injuries and never tell the crew. This reality made keith worry if that could actually happen. He needed to do what he could to stop that from happening, Even if it meant forcibly dragging lance to his room and making him stay there.

Not knowing where to go or what to do, keith stood with his back against the wall outside the staircase room. His eyes were close and he was in deep thought. He didn't know if he was waiting for lance to get back up, or if he was mustering the strength to chase after him and take the bin up forcibly. Just then, Keith heard a loud crash that echoed through the room and out to the hall he was standing in. 

Without hesitation, he sprinted down the stairs, taking them three at a time. He wondered if he should call for help, but he remembered that the crew are all at the opposite side of the ship and wouldn't hear him.

“Lance!” he shouted, moving his feet as fast as he could. “You okay?” but he went down the staircase without waiting for an answer.

After descending a few flights he heard a voice from the bottom of the room. It was faint and sounded pained, but it was the clear voice of lance Mcclain. 

“Keith,” he yelled up, his voice seemed almost watery, like he was holding back tears. He sounded defeated. “i- i need help.”

Taking the steps even faster now, keith waited to hear those three words. He waited for the locked up boy to finally unravel and ask for the help he so needed. Incident after incident of him pretending he was fine and hiding any pain that he could, lance was asking for help, and keith had been there all along to give it to him. 

Taking the steps almost 5 at a time now, keith called down the staircase in a loud, bold voice. “I’m already on my way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really setting the stage for the rest of the fic. I used it to develop Characters and boost the plot that will begin after this chapter. From now on things will move a bit faster and become more heated and interesting. Kudos and comments are appreciated (I love any kinda feedback) and I hope I see y'all next chapter, which will be up in 2-3 weeks.  
> -my Instagram is @supernatsirius and I sometimes talk about when I am gonna post a new chapter if you wanna keep updated.


	2. Try Not to Think of What Happens Next.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up among the paladins as lance shakes them all. Relationships and feelings are explored and questions pop up in the minds of Lance and Keith over their new friendship and if it's something closer. An intense series of battles will change what happens next for the paladins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: next chapter will be shorter.  
> me, Almost a month and a half later: * uploads a chapter that's 4k longer than the last*  
> -  
> sorry for the wait, but this chapter took a while to perfect as so much stuff happens in it, as you will soon read. Sorry again that it's so long but there were a lot of things i wanted to incorporate and i'm pretty proud of this chapter. Sit back, read, and enjoy!

He had found Lance at the bottom of the staircase, sitting on the floor with his back upon the cold wall. There were parts from inside the bin sprawled out around him. He had fallen backwards after racing up two staircases. The crash keith heard was from the bin falling down after Lance threw it into the air in an attempt to grab at something to regain his baLance. It didn’t work out. 

The fall was brutal. He scrapped his head against one of the rough stairs, reopening the cut on his forehead that was weakly healed. The impact of falling down so many stairs rendered him motionless and numb, temporarily not being able to move. It scared him and made him panic, thinking he would permanently be like this. The pain of his head, lungs, and an ankle he thinks may be strained, caused him to tearfully call out to keith. He accepted the defeat and knew he needed help.

He sat there for a minute, listening to the crescendo of keiths feet down the stairs, racing to get to him. Lance used every bit of strength in his body to try and get up, but the pain was paralyzing. Keith finally jumped down the last staircase and saw Lance on the ground with tears and blood streaming down his face.

“Took you long enough,” Lance joked with a pained voice. 

“What happened? Can you walk?” keith asked frantically. 

“You were right, is what happened,” Lance admitted. “And i-i can’t. I can’t get up.” He was still scared. He wished he could pull himself up and convince himself he wasn't injured, but he couldn't.

Keith put his hands under both of Lances and pulled him up, like he did to get him back on his bed days earlier. Lance cursed loudly after putting down his left ankle on the ground and being rewarded by a sharp but intense pain. With his arm around keiths neck and keith supporting his back, the two made a long and agonizing journey up the stairs. 

Back at Lances bedroom, he lied in his bed with everything hurting. His breathing was a red light to keith, as it was raspy and weak. It rang through the quiet room. Without saying anything, keith sat in the chair he sat in before, which Lance hadn't moved back. With gentle hands, he wrapped his head again and inspected his ankle. After determining it was a sprain, keith put on a brace like thing he had seen at the infirmary and put the foot on a pillow.

“I'm sorry.” The tearful apology filled the quiet room. Lances eyes stung, but not from fright or pain. Because he was so damn stubborn, they were in this position again. Keith taking care of a boy who felt he didn’t deserve it. 

A slightly stunned keith sat in the chair with his eyes wide. He felt awkward and didn't know how to care for this type of injury, an emotional one. “You don’t need to apologize. It happens,” he attempted.

Lance sniffed. “I'm not sorry for falling, i'm sorry for you having to do this time and time again when i'm not even thanking you.” He wiped violently at the hot tears falling down his face and onto the pillow he laid on. 

“I’m helping you because you need it, not because i'm searching for appreciation,” Keith told him sternly. Lance was quiet and so was keith. “You have to tell the others what happened,” keith said after a pause.

“I can’t.”

“You need to. You won't be able to walk for a few days, and if you somehow do, they will keep piling work on you and you will get injured again. Be honest with them. You owe them that as their leader.”

At this Lance shot up. “I don’t even want to be the fucking leader!” he yelled with a fresh batch of tears drizzling down his face. The sudden movement caused pain in his head and ribs but he ignored it. “This is why! I can’t even muster up the strength to tell them i fell down a flight of stairs because i think they will think i'm weak. Did shiro ever fall down two flights of stairs? Have you ever? It's only me, because i'm a fuckup and i can't be leader.”

“The only reason you fell is because you were trying to cover up your injuries. You aren't a fuck up, and you aren't weak,” keith said. He had put a hand on Lance's shoulder tightly, for some unknown reason. “Just fucking ask for help. The people on this ship would never think of you as weak. They all care about you, and you just need to let them know how messed up you are right now.” 

Lances eyebrows twitched, trying to hold back the new wave of tears. With a look into keiths eyes and in a moment of weakness, he sprang forward, wrapping keith in a tight and desperate hug. Tears ran quietly down his face and his body shook with the soundless sobs.

Paralyzed in his spot, keith was taken aback by the sudden hug. Regardless, the boy with his head on his shoulder made his heart ache. He wanted the annoying and arrogant Lance back. With his arm moving slowly to Lance's back, they sat there for an unmeasured amount of time. 

***************

Hours later, Lance hesitantly hobbled into the room hunk and pidge were relaxing in. He was dehydrated and embarrassed from breaking down in his room but with a clear head, he knew Keith was right. 

“What's wrong with your leg?” Pidge asked after looking up. 

“I...Uh… I think I sprained my ankle. Sorry guys I don't think I can do much work on the ship right now.” Lance said without looking at them. 

“It's fine, man,” hunk said sympathetically. “You should probably use a crutch if you want it to heal.” 

“I'll go get some from the infirmary,” pidge said, walking to the hall. 

Lance smiled. 

***************

The days went on and the castle was almost completely ready. The particle barrier was at 84% capacity and the healing pods were at 78%. The crew was now practically forcing Lance to relax and not do any work, especially keith, hunk and pidge. The only work he was doing now was preparing the food for them. 

Keith was relieved that Lance wasn't working, even though that meant he had to carry up twice as much from the stairs. He still kept a close eye on Lance and realized that even though he was accepting a bit of help, he still wasn't being as truthful as he should be. 

Lance told them that he twisted his ankle from stepping on the stair weirdly, but he didn't tell them about the fall. The second his forehead stopped bleeding he took the bandage off it, and upon hunk asking why it looked reopened, he muttered some lie about the lighting in the room making it look weird. Even though he wasn't working, he refused to sit or lie down. He should be getting lots of sleep because of the concussion he is neglecting. Lance is taking a step back but he is far from total honesty. 

“Guuyyss,” Lance complained. Pidge and Hunk were sitting on the floor, building a part with the pieces in a bin Keith just dropped off. Keith leaned against the wall after a trip up the stairs, drenched in sweat and short of breath. He actually put his hair up in a ponytail, and it was adorable. “I’m bored. Are you sure i can't do anything? Why don't we go practice at the training deck?”

“Coran needs this part soon, we can’t leave,” Pidge said. “Besides, you shouldn't be doing any work. We shouldn't have made you carry up those bins in the first place.”

“I think my ankle is better now! See look!” Lance put his leg in the air and tried to move his foot up and down. The second he moved it a sharp pain shot up his leg. “Yeah okay nevermind,” he winced, putting his leg down and putting the brace back on his foot.

“Smooth,” Pidge said. “Go take a nap or something.”

“I'm not tired.”

“Go annoy allura and coran instead of us.”

“I already did. Why do you think i came down here?”

“Fine,” Pidge said. She threw a screwdriver and metal plate at him. “If you wanna help just screw all those nails in.” 

“You need anything else?” Keith asked pidge and hunk.

“Nah, that’s all we needed today,” Hunk told him.

“Good,” He grunted. He crossed the room and sat down next to where Lance was. 

“You stink,” Lance said to the sweaty keith.

“No, you stink.” The boys began chatting about things like what allura and coran were up to, the castle, and just things that happened during the day. Keith said something about how Lance should lay off the perfume and Lance gave him a playful push. The tired keith fell sideways with the sudden push, making Lance try and stifle the laughs that were hurting his ribs.

“Why are you so easy to push over?” Lance said with a wide smile. 

“Give me a break! That bin was heavy,” Keith argued, pointing at Lance.

“Ow,” Lance said in between breathy laughs. “I'm the injured one here, and i can still push you over.”

“Since when have you guys been friends?” Hunk said, eyeing them. 

“What? Friends with mullet over here? I would never,” Lance said, trying to mask the smirk starting to spread on his face. 

“ Pfftt.” Keith said to relay a message of as-if. He Turned his head away from the others, an uncharacteristic pink blush upon his cheeks.

Friends? I guess, both boys thought. They didn’t realize they were acting friendly, but what do you know? Carrying someone's hurt body on several occasions and them crying on your shoulder can bring you closer together. It was a new dawn in the two boys friendship.

“Alright, i'll be back,” Lance said, slowly standing up. Keith had stood up as well and was handing him his crutch. Lance took the crutch from him and hobbled out of the room, giving a wheezy breath every time the crutch rubbed against his side.

Keith sat back down on the spot he was in seconds ago, Hunk and Pidge had returned their focus on the part they were building. Keith picked up the slate of metal Lance was working on. “Why do you need this?” he asked Pidge. 

“Oh, that?” Pidge said with a smirk. “I was just keeping him busy. Why would we need a nail filled piece of metal?”

Keith gave a humorous scoff. It was a good idea. “Do you guys… think Lance has been acting weird recently?” he asked hesitantly. 

“Why do you ask?”

“I don't know, just wondering.”

“I guess he was a little distant for a few days, but i mean we've all been upset over... shiro and stuff,” Hunk said, trailing off at the end. 

“Lance is just Lance, i guess,” Pidge said. “Hes secretive sometimes, despite his TMI personality.”

“I think you might be putting a bit of stress on him by making him leader, honestly,” said hunk. “He’ll do anything for his friends, and if anything happens to us under his lead he would never forgive himself.”

Keith took in what hunk was saying and automatically felt guilty. He made Lance leader for his own selfish reasons when he should have realised that Lance was as emotionally ready to lead the team as he was. 

“Why are you all the sudden interested in Lance,” Pidge asked with narrowed eyes. “Did something happen that we should know ab-”

At that moment Lance hobbled through the door, a bowl of chips balanced steadily on his unused arm.. “Im back” he announced. Putting his crutches on the wall, he took position back at the spot he was sitting in before, next to Keith. 

“What are you guys talking about?” Lance asked, throwing a chip into his mouth.

“Just… the ship,” Keith lied believably. He reached out his hand and took a chip from the bowl that laid between the two of them. Lance smacked it away with quick reflexes. 

“Get your sweaty hands out of my chips, mullet,” He said. “I had to voyage across these lands with my own one foot to get these chips, and i won't have them tainted by your dirty, gloved hand.”

“There’s no way you are going to eat all those by yourself! Just let me have a few,” He said defensively, making a move again to grab a chip. Lance used quick movement and grabbed the entire bowl and held it above his own head. 

“Whatcha gonna do now?” 

“Wow, i wonder what i'll do,” Keith said, his voice lined with playful sarcasm. He swiftly stood up and grabbed the bowl out of Lance's hand. Lance was on the floor with determined eyes. “It’s so on.”

“Says the guy who can't even stand up right now.”

“I may only have one leg, but with it i can do THIS.” With a sharp kick to Keith's shin, he doubled over and held his leg in pain. Taking advantage of the distraction he caused, Lance snatched the bowl. A few chips had spilled and were littered on the floor from all the movement. Hunk and Pidge continued assembling the complex part without even glancing at the chip custody battle going on behind them.

Knowing it was a bad move but doing it anyway, Lance mustered as much strength as he had into his one leg and stood up, still holding the chips. Thinking he was victorious for a second, he let out a triumphant laugh to keith, who recovered from the kick and was now standing up straight again. There was then a sharp pain in his head that had him fold over in pain. It was as intense as a migraine but lasted longer than one. 

Lance let out out a cry of pain and started to fall over, all his focus on the pain and not on the weak leg suspending him up. Not missing a beat, Keith caught him as he fell down. Pidge and Hunk looked away from their work at the sound of Lance yelling. 

“Dude, are you okay?” Hunk asked, walking over to them. Lance was still limp in Keith's arms. 

“I- I don't know,” Lance said, his eyes were wide. The pain in his head has subsided but he felt… weird. 

“Can you stand up?” Keith asked, wondering why he was still in his arms. Lance would normally hop out of his arms, disgusted that Keith dare touch him. 

Lance looked at him with short breath. Fear was written across his whole face. “I can't feel my legs.”

Pidge and hunk looked at each other with worry, neither knowing what to do. Keith on the other hand took action immediately and swooped Lance up into a bridal carry. “Where's allura?” He asked them. 

“I- um- I think she's in the infirmary,” pidge stuttered. And then Keith was running. He was sprinting as fast as he could with the weight of Lance in his arms. Shoes patted against the metal floors of the ship as hunk and pidge followed them. 

“What's going on?” Lance asked Keith, his face still displayed fear but he looked confused, like he didn't know where he was. This was bad. 

His arms aching and his breathing heavy, Keith arrived at the infirmary doors and entered them at a fast walk. Allura was in the room, her hands on a cryopod, healing it with her energy. She looked tired and worn out. 

“Princess!” Keith yelled. Hunk and Pidge entered not long after he did.. 

“What's wrong?” She said. 

“I think- he's having a stroke,” Keith said frantically, trying to speak around the large breaths he was taking. 

“Set him down on that table,” she said quickly. She Lance him some questions on where he was numb. Luckily, he could speak but he was also a bit disorientated. Looking up at Keith, allura nodded. 

“What do we do?” asked Coran, who recently joined the rest in the room. “Are any of the cryopod ready?”

“Not fully, no.”

“Well… what happens if we don't do anything?” Hunk asked, pale in the face. 

“He could become paralyzed, never speak again, maybe die,” Keith answered. 

Allura straightened her body, determination in her mind. She wouldn't let another paladin be lost, especially another leader. She strode over to the pod she was most recently healing. It was at 84%. She needed to do two days of work in two minutes. 

Understanding what she was doing, coran put his hand on her shoulder. “Princess, no.” He said. “You're already weak from the teleduv. You could get injured if you try to heal it.” 

“If I get injured, so be it. The universe needs them. We can't lose another paladin.” She took corans hand off her shouldn't with a gentle touch. With determination and a look of resilience, a blue aura appeared around her hands on the cryopod. 

Coran was conflicted. Allura was the only Altean he had left, his responsibility, his friend. Lance was like a son to him, probably the one he was closest to out of all the paladin's. He took a step back, letting allura do her thing, but ready to stop her if he needed to.

Keith had his arms crossed, a steely expression across his face, similar to the one he had right after they lost shiro. The others stood around him, every once in awhile asking what was wrong. Keith didn't reply. 

Lance was still sitting on the table Keith had sat him on. Desperate and confused, he moved his arm and grabbed onto Keith's. “Can you please tell me what's going on?” 

“I- you're going to be okay,” Keith said vaguely 

It’s arguable on why he did it. Later he might say that he was confused and didn't know what he was doing. Or he might say that he didn't remember doing it at all and keith was making it up. But with his mind clear as day, Lance took his hand off of keiths arms and moved it to his hand instead. Pale fingers entwined tightly with tan ones, warmth coming together with the cold. The fear in Lance's eyes slowly subsided and the shock in keith's eyes grew. 

Keith didn't flinch. He didn't move away. This contact was something that was new and unreadable to him. Figuring out that this contact was real and not something he imagined, keith tightened his fingers and secured Lance's hand with his own. Neither one said anything but neither one needed to.

The room got brighter. Natural light shone in. Everyone disappeared along with their problems. It was strange how only a hand could transform a room of suspense and fright into a completely comforting. The fact that no one else in the room heard the loudness of the hands being held was astonishing, as for keith and Lance it was the only thing they were focused on. 

“Stay with me.” It was almost a whisper. Lance barely heard himself say it, but like the quiet loudness of their hands, to keith it boomed across the room. It was like lightning in a field. A shiver went down his spine, like he read a good line in a book.

Finally realising that they weren't alone in that room, keith's mind went back to the situation. Alluras eyebrows were furrowed and sweat dripped down her neck. She looked weak and ready to fall down, but she wasn't done. She wouldn't stop until it was done and everyone in that room knew that.

After about five anxious minutes of allura working on the pod, the glow around her hands went away and she slowly took a few steps back from the pod. “It’s done,” She said to them with a small triumphant smile displayed on her tired face. Coran was ready to catch allura after she swayed and fell over, soon after the words left her mouth.

Without missing a beat, coran swung her over his shoulder with a surprising amount of strength. “I’ll care for the princess, you all help Lance,” He told them. Not waiting for a word of understanding, he half-ran down the runway carrying allura who was still slightly awake.

“Can you walk yet?” Keith asked Lance, letting go of his hand after Pidge and Hunk joined them over at the table. He didn't want them to take this physical contact the wrong way, but as this crossed his mind Keith wondered what it was. Why had Lance grabbed his hand, and why did Keith keep holding it? Pidge and Hunk cant take it the wrong way if there is no correct, or right way in the first place. 

“N-No,” Lance said, frightened at the numbness of his leg ( Ironically, it was the leg with the good ankle. His legs were not having a good week). The Situation around him seemed like a video full of static. He could remember some scenes, but then it would be murky. He couldn't even tell where he was or who was speaking around him. After such moments of confusion and almost a feeling of isolation, he was back in the large infirmary, people he loved surrounding him in a tight atmosphere. The only thing keeping him anchored to a certain thought and place was the hand that recently separated from his own.

With all three helping Lance over to the pod, the boy was on his way to healing. He had slumped over and could barley stand by himself. The Pajamas he hadn't changed out of earlier in the day clung lazily to his body. After finally figuring out how to start the complex chamber, He was sucked securely against the wall of it, his blue, lion print pajamas turned to a skintight bodysuit.

Tired paladins took seats on the floor and the table in the room, exhausted but relieved that the problem was taken care of. 

“Okay,” Hunk began, breaking the silence. “I know we just went through that whole thing, but is it bad that i still don't know what the hell a stroke is?” A simple question, but to the three stressed teens, this was hilarious. They all doubled over with laughter that was half due from the relief of an okay Lance. 

****************

Work had started up again on the ship a few afters after Lance was secure in the healing pod. The ship was almost fully repaired and all the passengers agreed that it would be best to get right back to the finishing touches, as they would be waiting for Lance for quite a bit. 

After they had left the infirmary, a tired yet relaxed coran met them in the room with the couches. He assured them that allura would be resting for a few days but was fine otherwise. “She said that even though she mostly healed the pod, it could drain of power quickly as it was still not at full health yet. That means that the pod will only focus on his head for the moment, as that's the most critical injury that needs to be healed immediately,” He had told them. “He should be out of the pod by the next quintant.”

Hunk and Pidge went back to the part they were assembling, and keith tagged along. All three of them were still shaken up by the previous events but the relief of Lance being okay washed over them blissfully. They all sat in the exact same spots they had been sitting in only an hour or so before, picking up where they left off.

“But what actually happened though?” Hunk asked, seriously this time.

“The blood flow to his brain cut off, probably because of the swelling from his concussion,” Keith answered.

“Well how did it happen?”

Keith thought about this. The symptoms of his concussion should have gotten less extreme after the week that’s gone by, and Lance definitely would have known that. That means that the symptoms didn't go down but he just didn't tell the crew. This boy is going to be the end of Keith.

It had been a week exactly since they defeated the galra and lost shiro. The empty lion and empty chair at dinner was like a ghost in the castle. Everyone missed him and the large presents he had in the group, but no one talked about his absence or even what they were going to do on their mission to find him. The fact that no one talked about his absence was interesting, almost as if they didn't talk about it, they wouldn't have to deal with it. 

When Lance got out of the pod the team would have to talk about their next move and what to do. The whole castle knew they were due for this talk and it hung in the hair like a heavy fog over them all. Lances role of leader had barely been explored yet. There would be battles to come, decisions to make. This boy was stressed enough with the mere idea of being leader, let alone actually taking charge. 

Allura had been resting all day after healing the pod with coran taking good care of her. Her dedication to keeping the team together and alive was something the paladins noticed right away and all appreciated. They were her family as she was theirs.

“So we defeated Zarkon right?” Hunk brought up in the kitchen where pidge and keith were having lunch. “Why haven't we heard anything? Like you think we would be bombarded with planets throwing us parades and giving us awards. Or you would think that The galra that are still alive would be vengeful and attacking us every minute, right? But it's just… nothing..” A day without Lance meant a day without food. Hunk and pidge were still preoccupied by all the parts they had to build, but in the little break he got he managed to whip up a simple but nicey proportioned batch of pb&js. Impressed by his ability to make such beautiful sandwiches with only one free hand, keith ate it happily along with pidge. 

“Maybe they’re planning something,” Pidge said, pointing to hunk with the sandwich in her hand.

Taking a seat next to the two, hunk sighed. “I Hope not. I thought we were gonna defeat zarkon and all of this would be over.”

“Has it ever occurred to the galra that we have things to do in our lives? Uh, newsflash zarkon, i have better things to do than fight your purple bithches.” She took an overenthusiastic bite of her sandwich and started choking.

“Hey keith,” hunk said. “Can you like, ring up the galra and ask them to go away? Maybe they'll listen to you, you know, galra to galra.”

“Yeah one sec.” Keith put his hands into the telephone sign and put it up to his ear. “Hey purple cat fuckers, can you chill?” He moved his hand away and turned back to Hunk and Pidge. “They said they'll go away.”

Laughter erupted around the table, and as keith looked around he realized how much hes learned to love these little shits. In this group of different and diverse people, he found family when he didn't expect to. What pained him was that this family wasn't complete. They were missing their original leader, their father figure, their friend. Keith wouldn't stop until he and this group got the happy ever after they all deserved.

After Keith and Pidge washed the dishes and the sandwiches were stored away in the fridge, the three of them went to the infirmary to check up on Lance. When they got there, keith looked closely at Lance. He looked like he was in a peaceful slumber. IF he was in iny pain, it did not read on his face.

Coran must've been right about it only healing his brain, as the cut on Lance's head still looked deep and fresh and his ankle did not look stable on the base pod, his left leg only being held up by the suction of the pod. Despite looking blissful, Lance's face was notably pale. 

“He’s definitely breathing weird,” Hunk said. “Why do these pods make people breath weird?”

The Altean statistics were displayed on the pod with lots of symbols and charts they couldn't understand. “Uh, do either of you understand any of this?” Keith asked.

“Fear not,” pidge said triumphantly. “I made the translation i designed more portable. I can just put it on here and all this stuff will translate.” Without missing beat, she hooked up the small, simple looking cube to the cryopod Lance stood in. The box emitted a green, digital screen over the altean writing and letter by letter the english translation appeared. As full words began to form on the screen, keith, who was sitting down on the table, got up and stood next to the pod. 

The first completely translated chart was a diagram of a body, with parts of it red to show the areas of damage. A deep red contrasted the green screen on the left side of the rib cage, the left ankle, and all around the head. The darker red in the middle of the forehead was blinking, probably to show that that area was healing.

To the left of the body was a heart rate monitor, which looked slower than it should, but that would be expected with Lances current deep sleeping state. More charts showed things like vitals and the history of his injuries the machine picked up on the last time he had been in the pod. 

Lastly, there was a section without charts, and listed simply what his injuries were and how recently inflicted they were. It also gave the percentage of how healed it was. “2 cracked rib, injured one week ago. 1 broken rib, Injured one week ago. 16% healed” It read. 

“Woah,” Hunk said. “I thought he only hurt one of them.”

“And a break no less,” Keith said, in awe at the surprising statistics. “It must be pressing on his lung. That’s gotta hurt like a bitch when he breaths.” The anger, or disappointment maybe, that keith had felt days ago when Lance was hiding his injuries along side his emotions had returned. Keith thought that Lance gave that up. Why won't he get it through his thick head that they were there to help? 

“Why are they only 16% healed? It should be higher than that, right?” Hunk said. Before any of them could answer, the next line of that section had translated. “1 deep laceration, injured one week ago (reopened two days ago).”

“I knew it looked reopened!” Hunk said, pointing to the screen. “How did he injure it again? And why didn't he tell us?” He said out loud. Keith knew that he was asking this as a general statement and didn't know that keith knew the answer, but for some reason he felt obligated to answer pidge and hunk. They cared for Lance obviously, and this new information they were learning on him made them concerned. It wasn't keith's place to tell them, but the worry written on their faces and the look they gave each other made him think that it was exactly his place.

“I-” Keith stuttered, the two others looking his way. “... When Lance hurt his ankle the other day, he didn't just twist it weird. He was carrying a box up the stairs and fell backwards down two flights. He scraped his forehead on the floor, sprained his ankle, and carrying up all those boxes must have not let his ribs heal.” 

“Wait, what?” Pidge said, trying to process this. “Why didn't he tell us? Why didn't you tell us sooner? Did you want him to get hurt or something? And how do you know anyways?”

Keith felt as if he was the one who just fell down some stairs. The tone of defense in pidges voice was like little daggers being plunged in and out. A part of Keith knew that she didn't mean to be blameful and was just concerned for a boy she cared about, but that small part couldn't convince the rest of keith. “I was right outside the room when i heard him fall, and i carried him back to his dorm. You guys were too far away to hear if i called for help and when we got back to his room he told me not to get you guys.” The answer was swift and truthful.

“But… Why didn’t he want us to know?” Hunk, who had been surprisingly quiet, asked.

“You'd have to ask him that.” Infact, Keith had been pondering that same question for days now.

None of them brought up the topic again. Instead, they read the rest of the translation, which was uneventful after that. Weirdly, the conversation after that was pretty pleasant and lighthearted. They joked, They talked about the ship, They laughed. Maybe they were were just trying to distract themselves from thinking about Lance and the possibility that he might not be as comfortable as he lets on. 

*************

The darkness engulfed him. It entered through his eyes and spread fear through his body. No matter what people let on, darkness gets to you eventually. Was this a dream? He was starting to think that it was death. Nothing to be seen, nothin to expect.

“Where am i?” He said in a breathy whisper, like he was talking more to himself than someone else. “Where the hell am i?” He yelled again, This time wanting a response more than anything. But there was nothing. 

This is what happened for days straight. Yelling to no answer, eyes open but nothing to be seen, the only thing heard was his own fast breathing and occasional shouts to an unseen person. He didn't know how long he was there. A week? Ten minutes? In reality it had been Eight days, but no matter how long it had been, it felt never ending. It felt maddening. It felt worse than the year he spent away from earth. Eight days. He had to be dead. He hasnt eaten in so long, but he’s not hungry. Has he eaten? Maybe he blocked it out. Maybe the darkness was getting to him.

Where was he? Where was the Black Paladin? Eight days. 

*************** 

A day later, everyone in the castle was waiting outside of Lances cryopod anxiously. Hunk held Lances favorite desert, waiting to give it to him and the others practically had their faces pressed against the pod, trying to get a good look at him.

“He’ll be alright, right?” Hunk asked. “Like there won't be any symptoms or whatever?”

She hesitated for a second, but allura answered “I don't know, honestly. The Pod should completely heal his head, but it usually doesn't handle earth injuries so who's the say?” She had joined them in the infirmary earlier, to the dismay of coran. The paladins had not seen much of allura the past two days because of her being bedridden, but that didn't stop her from being here now. 

Suddenly, the bluish field on the pod started to disappear and the machine let off a small amount of steam as it freed Lance. With eager eyes and happy smiles, the inhabits of the castle stood in a crowd in front of him. With eyes fluttering open and the suction of the pod turning off, Lance stood on one leg, slumped over and slowly waking up. “Hm,” he mumbled after becoming slightly aware of his surroundings. “Glad to see you guys aren't looking at clocks this time.”

Lance now sat at the table he sat on a day earlier, enthusiastically scooping chocolate mousse into his mouth by the spoonful as hunk stood with a proud smile. Occasionally answering with his mouth full, he responded to alluras questions and evaluation.

“Can you kick both your legs?” She asked.

With a smirk, Lance kicked keith in the gut with his right foot, causing him to double over with a grunt, his black hair framing his face. Standing upright again, he gave Lance a look of what-the-hell-dude which caused the cuban boy to bark out a hearty laugh. “Yes, i can kick.”

“And your left leg?” Everyone took a few steps away from Lance, scared they would be the next victim of a kick. Lance saw great humor in this, and confidently kicked his left leg. Relife flooded them all, glad to see that there wasn't any long term damage. For the first time all week, everyone in the castle was full of joy and glad to see them all safe and in recovery. If anything, it made them more motivated to find shiro, the last piece of their family, the key to all of them relaxing and laughing together, like the family they were, like the children they were. That's what they were, children. And they needed to act like children, rid of responsibility and the fight for their lives.

“So,” Pidge said. The bowl in Lance's hand was empty and allura finished her evaluation. Lance was in a strangely good mood but what pidge said next made his elated state crumble down. “The castle's defenses are 100% back up now. Whats our next move?”

Since his new position as leader, Lances fear is that in this situation, in this spot, he wouldn't know what to do. His fear has become a reality. They have no leads, four paladins (One of which was injured) And no direction. All five of them turned their heads to Lance with a look of waiting upon their faces, eyes showing their anticipation within.

With pidges paralyzing question and a fright of misspeaking and doing the wrong thing, Lance did what he does best. He stalled. “Uh… how about we have a big meeting tomorrow afternoon and we will discuss everything there? Yeah?” Without waiting for an answer Lance grabbed a crutch that keith had brought back to the infirmary. The sound of the crutch hitting the metal floor radiated an echo through the room and into the ears of the confused paladins he was limping away from.

************

After hiding out in his room for a few hours and pretending to take a nap, Lance reemerged and walked to the kitchen where he found keith making a cup of hot chocolate. At the sound of Lances crutch he spun around quickly, almost defensively . 

“Uh, are you making hot chocolate?” Lance said in an almost mocking laugh. 

“You have a problem with hot chocolate?” 

 

“No, its just weird seeing you, an emo, pent up ball of anger making a warm drink with marshmallows in it. It's kind of…” Cute. “Funny.”

“Let a man enjoy his chocolate,” Keith said, turning his back to Lance and giving the cup a few stirs. “Do you… want some?” He offered.

“Wow,” Lance said with a smirk he was trying to repress. “Keith Kogane, actually offering to do something for someone. Yes, i would love a cup.” After brewing some more milk, keith carried the two hot chocolates to the room nearby with a large window looking at the stars and lots of couches and blankets. The two boys hung out like your average friends would. They talked and laughed, the atmosphere comfortable and light, the two of them stretched out on opposite sides of a couch with too many blankets covering them. It was therapeutic, it was distracting to the problems in their lives, it was… domestic.

“How are you feeling?” Keith asked after taking a long sip of his drink. 

“Fine actually. Well my head feels fine. Everything else hurts,” He Joked then took an equally long swig of his own cup. “Allura said that she should be able to have the pods up and running in a day or two, so we all can be fully healed.”

“Shouldn't she be resting?”

“Yeah, well, You know allura.”

After a drink of hot chocolate they both took in unison, keith asked a hesitant question. “Yesterday… What do you, like, remember?” He thought back to the terror Lance displayed in his eyes, how he had carried him down the hall, how everyone in the castle was a ball of worry and stress. How Lance had grabbed keith's hands and their touch lingered… 

With steady eyes, Lance sucked up a floating marshmallow in his mug. “I remember bits and pieces. Little fragments. I think you carried me to the infirmary and i couldn't feel my legs. I kinda remember when Allura healed the pod.” Lance also remembered the cold contrast of keiths light skin on Lances warmer and richer hands, but he didn't vocalize this memory. “After that it's a bit fuzzy.”

After they had been quiet after minutes of talking, and his mind wandered back to reality, Lance remembered the situation. He remembered that his team was waiting for him to make a life changing decision, he remembered that shiro was gone. 

“Can i be honest?” Lance asked to which keith gave a half nod. “Being the leader, i have no idea what i'm doing. I don't have any clue of what i'm going to tell the team tomorrow. I just don't know, man.” A wave of relief swept over Lance as he lifted this weight off his chest, but a new heaviness took its place as the fear of keiths reply was swimming in his mind. 

After a few agonizing seconds of silence, keith began. “What makes a great leader is not how they plan, it's how they handle a situation.” His two hands grasped the warm mug tightly and his foot slightly pressed up against Lances braced ankle. “It doesn't matter if you don't know now, what matters is how things turn out when you actually get to the problem. I think that's what’s going on with you. You'll know when the time comes.”

Looking at the stars blinking and shining outside the window, it was like something clicked in Lance. That's exactly what he needed to hear and it all made sense. He understood now that in the situation, it would come to it and trying to plan will overstress him and let his mind wander to hypotheticals. “That actually… is really insightful. Thanks.” 

“I guess i'm full of uncharacteristic acts tonight.” both of them had small smirks planted across their faces. Their bodies were warm with hot chocolate, blankets, and a playful conversation. 

“Hey keith,” Lance began. “Weird question but… we’re friend. We don't actually hate each other, right?”

With his eyes slightly squinted and filled with soul, he peered through his black bangs and his eyes locked on Lances’. “No, i don't think we do.” 

The touch of their legs was suddenly yelling in Lance's mind, and he thought back to when he grabbed keiths hand in a state of confusion. That's all it was. A state of confusion. But that confusion led to a touch that radiated through Lances whole body. It made the room swim and his mind clear. Sitting there with keith, talking like old childhood friends, remembering how he had carried him and held his hand, it made Lance wonder…. Was there something more to him and Keith? 

The stars twinkled unusually brightly that night in the company of the two boys. A hope was present in both of them that hadn't been there all week. With new direction and insight, Lance felt ready for the team meeting tomorrow even when he had no idea what he was going to say. Keith was excited to take action in their hunt for shiro. But mostly, They danced in the happiness this closer friendship brought them. The room was singing with the comfortable silence of the both of them deep in thought. 

From a mix of their comfortable surrounding and the warmth of each other's presence, the two boys fell asleep with their bodies warm with hot chocolates and the blankets they shared. It was the best sleep Lance had gotten all week. 

Pidge and Hunk had wandered into the room soon after and they stood there with their arms crossed, looking at the two of them. 

With a scoff and a smirk, pidge exclaimed “Nerds.”

“I think it's kind of cute,” Hunk said. 

With an inquisitive look, pidge vocalized the thought she and hunk shared. “But… since when have they hung out together? Do you think these self proclaimed ‘rivals’ would be cuddled under the fucking stars like, a week ago?”

“I don’t know. They're friends now, that's not a bad thing.”

“I never said it was, i think there might be more to it, though.” They stood in silence after that, watching the still bodies of Lance and keith. 

“Should we wake them up?” Hunk asked with his arms raised up questionably. 

“Nah,” Pidge said with a heartfelt smile on her face. “I think i'm gonna draw on their faces, though.”

\-------------------

The next day, after a large, hunk prepared breakfast and a chase around the castle of lions (“I swear to god pidge, it's like the 5th time you've done that!” Lance shouted with marker decorating his face. “If anything i just made you look better!” She called back to Lance, who was steadily catching up to her. It ended in a tackle and Lance scribbling all over pidges face while she was pinned to the ground. “revenge!”), They all sat seated around the sofa they had sat at in shock and silence right after the galra battle.

Lance's heart pounded and all eyes were on him. He waited for his mind to kick into gear and tell him what to say. He waited for an idea to come to him and a plan to sprout like he thought would happen after his conversation with keith. Nothing happened. His mind was blank and negative thoughts took the place in his head that a plan should have taken up. He wasn't meant to be leader. He doesn't have the natural ability to lead. He’s letting them all down. 

“Uhh…” He said to the eyes all focused on him. “So, Fir-” Before he could mumble out a sentence, The red lights of the castle began to blink alarmingly, forcing the paladins to take their eyes off of Lance. “What’s going on?” 

Coran typed something swiftly into the floating altean screen and looked up at them. “We’ve received a Distress signal from a far away planet.” They all looked at each other with confusion.

“The galra?” Keith asked. 

“The planet was right on the borderline of zarkons domain. Logically, i would say that the galra are trying to conquer it.”

“Can’t the galra just calm down? God, we defeated them like a week ago and they're already back!” Lance said, annoyed. “How far away are we from the planet?”

“The teleduv is the only part of the castle that's not at maximum power, so it would take us about two days to get there,” Coran answered, swiping through some more slides on the screen. 

Things came together in Lance's mind. The gears started working and the dust was brushed off. He knew what to do, he had a plan. Just like keith said. “Allura, the cryo pods are ready now, right?” The rings around her eyes were purple and heavy with tiredness. She gave a quick nod. “Everyone who needs a pod will heal up for a day. We will spend the rest of the time training and shaping up before we get there. Coran, Allura, find out everything you can about that planet. Find out if there are any main galra fleets there and then we will create a plan of how to infiltrate it if we need to. Everyone clear?” The room was full of focused looking eyes and sharp nods. “Let's do this.”

Hunk, who still had a sling cradling his arm, entered a pod along with Lance and Pidge. Lance would need to be in there for a full day, but pidge (Whose right knee was weirdly numb from time to time since the battle) and hunk would be out in a matter of hours. Lance demanded that no matter what the machine said, they were to wake him up in twelve hours.

Lance didn't mind the cryopod, he always felt regenerated and full of energy after a visit to it. Something memorable about the pods were the vivid dreams they induced. This wasn't necessarily good or bad; it depended on the dream. The first time he had been in there, he dreamt that he was back on earth and bathing in rain, his clothes weighing him down but his head tilted up to the sky with a warm smile. When he got out of the pod he expected to find his clothes wet and his hair plastered down on his face. 

This time in the cryopod, he saw a face miles away. It was his mother, smiling up at him and her arms wide. She was so far away, Lance needed to feel her touch so he ran. Feet scraping against the black and nonexistent floor, he ran like his life depended on it. Once he got closer to her he realized that each time his foot hit the ground, the face of his mother grimaced in pain. 

He stopped short and touched his foot to the ground slowly, experimenting. This time she let out a cry of pain. He wanted to comfort her and run up, helping her any way he could, but each time his foot moved she let out a cry of agony. He was stuck, he didn’t know what to do. He yelled out to her, only to find that he had no voice. His mouth made no sound when he opened it. Lance collapsed to the floor with his head held in between his knees and his hands gripping at his own hair. A sharp and loud breath of a panicked Lance rang across the nonexistent room. 

“It's time to let him out,” Coran said, the timer he always kept handy beeping to alert them. 

“He really should be in here longer,” Allura said skeptically. 

“He is the leader… it was a command to let him out,” Pidge said.

Allura let out an exhausted sigh, her hair unwashed and her mind unrested. “Fine, but the second we get back to this castle after the mission, he is going into the pod again.” Steam hissed out of the lowering pod shield after she typed some code into the holographic screen.

Soon after the color returned to Lance's face and the monitor on the screen showing a rise in heart rate, Lance sharply opened up his eyes and gasped. “Stop it!” He shouted out at nothing, his senses not yet telling him that the dream had ended. 

\-------------------

“Look alive team.” A day later and the paladins were in their lions and ready for action. The plan was simple. Lance flew down in his lion to the place of the distress signal to talk to the people that put it down. Pidge followed suit in her lion with the invisibility feature on, watching guard incase this was an ambush. Keith and hunk had their lions hidden nearby and allura was prepared to pilot the black lion incase they needed to form voltron.

Lance soared above the planet, his lions gps beeping to alert him where the beacon was placed. The terrain of the planet was both breathtaking and intriguing. It was like someone molded two planets together, as hills of ice laid next to pools of lava without affecting each other in the slightest. The ice remained cold and whole next to the liquid lava, as if these two were oblivious to each other. 

The beeping got faster when Lance got closer to the source. It was telling him to go to a castle under an ice overhang with lava flowing from the top of it. The glowing hotness created almost a blanket that draped over the ice peak, boxing the castle in between the thin sheet of lava and the ice wall.

“I’m going in,” Lance said after finding an uncovered area. “No one enter until i give an order, i'll practically be trapped in there against the ice if an amish comes in through the lava, so i don't want anyone else vulnerable. Pidge, keep as close as you can without entering.”

“Copy that,” Pidge responded along with affirmative comments by hunk and keith. 

Guiding his lion to the castle, Lance landed on a patch of ice outside the luxurious castle. It was grand and classy looking, mostly made out ice but with some red decorations of lava accenting it. As he climbed out, Lance was greeted by a number of people who matched their planet. Some had a light shade of blue on their skin, with what appeared to be actual, burning hot lava sprouting out of their head as if it was hair running down their backs and shoulders. Others were the opposite, with a shade of red painted across their skin and flowing ice from their head contrasting against it. 

Lance walked up to the woman who was closest to his lion. She had skin of blue and a large velvet robe draped around her dress that was as red and glowing as her hair. From her looks, the way a guard looked at Lance when he stepped closer, and the mere way she stood conveyed the fact that she was royalty, or at least very important. Trying to look as large and confidently as he could, he stood in front of her, his heart pounding due to nerve. 

“I’m Lance, leader of voltron,” He said in the boldest voice he could. “I received a distress signal from around here and i’ve come to help.” Due to pure instinct, A cheesy pickup line like ‘And you are? Wait i already know, you’re the woman of my dreams.’ almost left his mouth until pidge whispered into the team's communication system “Lance i swear to god if you try and flirt with her i will shoot you.” Can she read my fucking mind? Lance thought, knowing she was right.

“My name is Ignis, queen of the Concurtus,” The woman said with her expression unchanging and hard to read. “Thank you for coming. Are you alone?”

“I am for now,” he said, speaking vague enough to suffice but not totally lying. Her opinion on this answer was unknown, as her face remained frozen on the expression she wore since Lance first laid eyes on her. “What's the problem?”

“Come inside my castle, we’ll show you.”

“Looks kinda sketch, Lance. Are you going in?” Pidge asked through the coms. Of course Lance couldn't answer out loud, so the question rang as a reminder of the choice he needed to make. 

“You can’t tell me out here?” Lanced asked, somehow already knowing the answer. 

Ignis’ eyes gleamed with a sort of confidence. Or was it ambition? There was definitely some emotion there, and it was slightly intimidating against the stoniness her face remained in seconds earlier. A totally different color palette from the rest of the people and their planet, her eyes were a light brown with a ring of dark green on the inside. They looked very human, very familiar. The kind of eyes you know will glow in the sun like light gleaming through a bottle of bourbon. “I’m afraid i can’t. What’s inside the castle is crucial to understanding the situation.”

With a calm sigh, Lance stayed relaxed despite his head yelling with questions and comments on the situation. But one of these comments yelled louder that the rest. Shiro, it said. This could be the one lead we have on shiro. “Alright, Ignis of the Concurtus. Lead the way.”

The queen, the two body guards that stood stonelike around her, and whoever else had left the castle to catch a glimpse at the blue lion turned and walked to the large ice doors that were outlined in spiraling red. When he thought no one was looking, Lance pulled up a holographic keyboard feature his armor provided. He typed a message to the paladins while still looking straight up. And people said using smartphones wouldn't come in handy, Lance thought as he admired his own typing skill. “Going in. no choice. Pidge, be ready.” Lance typed and sent, a few seconds later his teammates made whispered comments to confirm they got the message. 

Each step Lance took was on rhythm with his fast beating heart that rang through his chest and to his ears. He really didn’t know what to expect, but this queen didn't seem to be very truthful or welcoming with Lance so they all expected the worst. Even if this was an ambush, Lance appreciated the nice decor and architecture the planet offered. The word “beautiful” didn't sum up the castle. At least if i die today, it will be on a planet that’s cool as hell, Lance thought morbidly.

“Hell of a planet you got here,” Lance said, trying to make small talk. “And this castle is insane.”

“My people are known for our architecture and inventions,” She said as Lance trailed behind her. He thought she was going to continue this statement but she stopped talking as abruptly as she started.

Not the most social person, Lance thought. The castle was very empty. Lance wondered where everyone was. Every Once in awhile they would see a person, but a castle of this size could hold more than 200 people, so why was it so empty? There were no furniture and the walls were empty. It looked like a new apartment they just moved into. It sent chills down Lances spine, and not just from the icy walls. 

While they walked, person by person seemed to leave. Which was once a group of about five had withered down to just Lance, Ignis and a bodyguard. After walking to another room the guard seemed to vanish too. “Creepy. Turning my mic on so u can hear. Be quiet,” Lance typed and sent out to his friends. 

“This is it,” Ignis said, turning around and almost catching Lance typing. There was a grand door almost as big as the one at the entrance. With a weird amount of strength, she opened the door by herself and they were met with a room colder and darker than the rest. “After you,” She said.

The room was so dark it was almost impossible to see, the only light coming from the open door Lance just walked through. Once ignis joined him in the room and let the door swing close, they were engulfed in darkness. Panic struck Lance's heart, his eyes wide and his breathing fast. The natural fear of the dark all humans had rang in his mind and he thought of all the possibilities of what could be in this darkness. Breaking the petrified state he had been in, Lance held his bayard tightly in hand, ready to activate it if needed. 

“You should put that away, Lance Mcclain.” The voice of ignis echoes around the room. She waved her hand in a dramatic fashion and one by one, a hot fire lit atop of ice pillars scattered around the room that Lance was now noticing was huge. When almost all the pillars were lit, Lance scanned the room quickly. 

All around the large room were small ships. Some of them were galra fighter pilot ships, some resembled speeders, like the one they had escaped from the garrison on with keith. They all seemed to be empty, but this didn't make Lances nervousness go away.

“What… what is this?” Lance asked, forgetting about trying to look confident and incharge. Then, something clicked. “Wait… I never told you my last name.”

“I assume your mic is on, so right now i am talking to all of voltron. An alliance with the galra makes my people stronger. I do what is right for my people. I would like to say that i'm sorry for what's next, but i'm not. We all have to survive in this world.” There was a slight smile plastered across her lips, those familiar eyes strong and petrifying. Lance activated his bayard and pointed his gun at ignis, but she looked unphased. 

The next second,, a mixture of Concurtus people and galra soldiers materialized in front of them out of thin air. There must have been some sort of cloaking device they all had on their uniforms.. Some of them jumped into the speeders and fighter ships, and some pointed their weapons towards Lance. Guns and spears were pointed at him all across the room, and he knew that no matter what way he swung it, he would be getting shot from some angle. In some weird battle adrenaline based action, a smirk creeped across Lance's face as he prepared for a big battle. 

“Hey guys?” Lance said to his teammates through his mic. “I'm gonna need your help right… NOW.” with that last word, Lance got his shield out and began shooting at the closest line of warriors. Bullets grazed him, spears shot above his head, spreaders and ships were beginning their engines, it was a blur of violence in that room. 

As he fought, he barked orders to his teammate. “Pidge, Keith! I need you here with me, one on one combat. Hunk and coran, guard the red, green and blue lion and tell me if any troops are heading towards the castle.”

Shots left his gun at lighting speed, taking down soldiers in hectic but accurate bursts. Even with This skill and the rate galra and concertus dropped, they were still overpowering him. A Spear soared and impaled itself in the wall Lance was pressed up against. It was right next to his head; Lance knew that if he had even been half an inch to the left, that spear would have killed him. 

“To whoever threw that,” Lance joked and looked into the eyes of danger, “thank you for the haircut.” The eyes of danger must have been too piercing, as the net second a gun grazed his arm, causing warm blood to spill down it. Cursing out in pain, Lance took the spear that was stuck in the wall and spun it in front of him, knocking down a line of soldiers. “Uh… Guys? Did you not hear me when i said ‘I need help’? Because i need help!”

With a shattering crash, the head of the green lion burst through the ice wall in signature Pidge style. “You need to learn patience, Lance.” Joining Lance where he stood, keith and pidge climbed out of the lion with their bayards activated and in their hands. With all three of them teamed up, more soldiers dropped, despite the unfair amount of people.

“What are the pilots doing?” Keith shouted over the fight.

“No idea!” Lance shouted out. “I’ll go take them out! Everyone prepare for a blast!” With a wicked grin upon his face, Lance took a deep breath and shot one of the fighter ships right in the sweet spot. It blew up in a large blaze of fire, causing the ones next to it to do the same. Now this was real fire! It made the ice walls melt, the concertus ran from it despite heavy piles of lava that resembled hair upon their head. “Sweet, ”Lance whispered at the destruction he was causing.

Half the fighters were distracted by the line of ships still blowing up, but so was Lance. As he waltched his handy work, a galra came running and hit him in the ribs with the hilt of his knife. A gasp of pain left Lance's mouth and he felt like he could feel his partially healed ribs cracking again. His eyes were dazed with stars, he grasped at the wall behind him.

Through his blurred vision, he saw the galra with its knife pointed towards him and a cold smirk upon his face. With a yell, the knife in her hands came thrashing through the air towards Lance. His body not working and his mind trying to process what was happening, he didn't move. Instead he let out an exhale of surprise as he realized too late that the knife was coming for him.

Luckily, someone else was quicker on their feet. Keith ran over with lightning speed and body slammed the snarling galra so hard she fell to the ground and didn't get up. “I got you, buddy,” he said, holding his hand out for Lance to take. Lance hung his head in relief and hoisted himself up using keith's outstretched arm.

“Thanks a-” Lance stopped mid sentence and shot a different galra that was running towards them. Then he continued his sentence like nothing happened. “Billion, keith.”

Now the two stood back to back, keith slashing the two kinds of soldiers in the room and Lance shooting the ones that got too close. Pidge wasn't far away, and was currently riding on the back of a tall galra and choking him with her beyard. “You aren't healed much, are you?” Keith asked, already knowing the answer due to how the blow to the ribs affected him.

“Yeah, not really,” Lance admitted with a pained laugh. “Let me get through this mission and i promise i will go in a cryopod and rest up after, deal?”

With one of the most hands-on battle they have ever fought and the castle being far away, keith gave in. “Deal.”

This fighting went on for what seemed like forever. Pidge had come over and the three of them now stood in a ring, facing out, attacking anything that came near them. All three of them were tired and had selections of cuts on the parts of their body their armor did not cover. Regardless, they refused to go down.

When Lance had been alone at the beginning, he noticed something on all the soldiers that he forgot about due to, you know, The loads of soldiers fighting them alongside almost being stabbed and probably re breaking his ribs. “Guys,” He said. “They’re all wearing a red patch on their left elbow. What do you think it means?”

Keith focused on this specific part of the body, and sure enough galra and concurtus alike had a red patch sewn onto their armor. There was also a symbol but it was hard to make out what it was. Both pidge and keith didn't know what it meant and nor did Lance. He pushed the thought to the back of his head to ponder later and went back to fighting.

Most of the ships had been blown up by Lance, but a few still remained functional. Upon the sound of the engine starting on one of them, Lance blew the rest of them up. Ignis, who had just been standing in the middle of the room unarmed and unphased, started yelling as the explosion engulfed her. A few seconds later and she laid blackened and coughing on the ground. “That's what you get, you mega ice bitch,” Lance said quietly.

“Guys!” Said hunks voice on the coms. “You might wanna get outside. A big galra looking ship just showed up. I don't know what it’s doing, it doesn't look like it's going for the lions!”

“On our way,” Lance responded. He looked around the room and realized how many people were on the ground, unmoving. Little were still up and fighting. The fact that Lance had a part in why those people laid on the ground so unresponsive seeped into his brain. He felt weaker, he felt drowned. Some cold, logical voice in his head yelled at him, it told him to have a moral dilemma later because right now his team needed him. He took a deep breath. “Pidge, are you fine staying back to make sure no one follows me and keith?”

“I'm good here,” She reassured him. Leaving through one of the holes in the wall the explosions caused, soon Lance and keith were flying towards the ship with their lions, accompanied by hunk.

“So what's the plan?” hunk said. 

“The plan is… well… we don’t have a plan,” Lance admitted. “Just look for anything or anyone that may give us any hints of where shiro is.”

“That’s not very helpful,” mumbled hunk. “Oh! I mean… yes sir!” He added after Lance made a stern look towards him.

“You guys have to stop calling me ‘sir’.”

“I hear you loud and clear, sir!” Pidge said through the coms. in the face of an intense battle, she still made it a priority to annoy Lance. Lance loved this kid so much. 

The three of them piloted their lions into the ship as undetected as possible, only a few guards were by the hangers and they didn't have time to call for battle before the paladins took them out. 

“Okay, hunk, you go that way,” Lance said, pointing to one out of three of the hallways in front of them. “Keith, you take that one and i'll take the one to the right. Keep me updated and try to be as sneaky as you can, i don’t want another major battle.”

They all went their separate ways, their mission clear enough. Lance followed his hallway for a long time with nothing noteworthy happening. A guard or two saw him but using the back of his gun, he hit them hard across the head and watched as they fell to the ground. He got to a room that had two guards stationed outside of it and shot them from a distance. Easy peasy, Lance thought. 

Lance couldn't deny the fact that he was worn out. His ribs ached and the gunshot wound on his bicep made his whole arm throb painfully. Another battle is what he was trying to avoid because he knew he didn't have much fight left in him at the moment.

Entering the room, there were screens all across the walls and a large panel on the table in front of them. It was a security room. Looking at all the screens, he found the one where keith was. He was ruffling through some files in a small room. Taking the arm off one of the guards, Lance gained access to the control panel and turned the mic on in the room keith was in.

“Whats upppp,” Lance said into it, being rewarded with a startled keith who jumped a foot in the air like a cat would. 

“Aren’t you the one who told us to be sneaky?” Said an unimpressed Keith. 

“Couldn't help myself. You find anything?”

“Not yet. You?”

“Nah.” Lance took a look around the room, looking at all the screens. “Actually… i think i just did. The cameras up here show basically every single room and hallway in this whole ship. Everything except the left wing of the second level. I think they might be hiding something; i'm gonna check it out.”

“Good find,” Keith said. He had stopped rummaging through the drawers and was now looking at the camera Lance was speaking to him through. “Be careful, Lance,” He said after a few seconds. He didn't know why, but it felt like it needed saying at that moment. 

Lance was about to try and hide the wide smile on his lips until he realized keith couldn't see him. “I always am.” With that, he sped off to the second level. 

In a room at the end of the hall, keith was looking through more files and drawers. “For an advanced technological race, you would think the gala would go paperless,” Keith mumbled to himself after looking through three different drawers already. His fingers were moving at a rapid pace, flipping through all the folders and looking for… something. He didn't know what to expect. It's not like these papers had english labels that said “Top secret! The black paladin, takashi shirogane, is held at these coordinates!” 

He looked through all the files, regardless of what logic was saying. Just as he was getting to the last files in the last drawer, keith's fingers abruptly stopped. He was nowhere near fluent, but he still had a vague sense of what these symbols and strangle galra letters were. Understanding the language must weirdly come with the galra gene. With eyes focused on the file name his hand automatically stopped on, the letters began to make sense. The word “Earth” was written there, plain as day.

“Guys, i think i go-” Keith began, talking into the com. Before he could finish, blaring lights and sounds filled the galra ship from all directions. The alarm was sounding.

“Shit!” Lance said. “That’s because of me. I think i triggered something when i entered the left wing.” Keith could hear shots from Lances bayard hitting soldiers in the background. “They know we’re here. Hunk, Pidge, Keith. Grab anything you can and head back to the ship. I’ll follow you guys, but i still think there’s something in this wing. You guys copy?”

Words of understanding all sounded in the coms from the other three paladins. Keith grabbed the whole drawer he found the earth file in and headed off for his lion. With a large desk drawer tucked under one arm and his blade of marmora sword in the other, Keith laughed at how ridiculous he probably looked.

Meanwhile, Lance was fighting his way through the hallway he was in. A constant strand of soldiers attacked, but they weren't faster than his gun. He sprinted through rooms and halls, leaving piles of broken warriors behind him. Blood ran down the cut on his arm he was still neglecting, his breaths were so raspy they could be heard down the hall. The one thing he didn't want was another fight, but here he was, a gun in hand.

He looked for something, anything, but the only thing these hhallways held were empty rooms. Lance was feeling discouraged and wanted to head back, but then he got to wondering. The galra were smart.

Theses rooms must hold a purpose. Thinking and shooting at the same time, Lance was onto something. All the soldiers were coming from the same direction, the hallway two rights over. The empty rooms had to be decoys, the galra wanting them to think that there was nothing in this wing. If there was an unempty room in these hallways, that's where the important stuff is. He stopped short and turned around, heading right. He had to fight through where all the soldiers were coming from. That's where they're trying to guard . 

“Lance!” Sounded pidges voice over the coms. “Everyone’s back at the ship now, but they’re following us. We’ve just been hit by their ion cannon and it’s recharging. Get back here fast!”

“Copy that!” Lance responded. He zigzagged through halls while shooting oncoming soldiers in lightning speed until one of them got a clear shot at his shoulder. If he hadn't been wearing his armor there no doubt be a clean hole right through his skin, but thanks to the strong metal, it didn't go too deep. Blood trickled down his armor and it hurt like a bitch, but Lance continued on, shooting the soldier that shot him first and running even faster through the hall.   
Lance kept a mental tally of his injuries. Gunshot wound in the arm. Gunshot wound in the shoulder. Bruised ribs. His heart rate was up and he felt as if he was about to collapse. What did he not want? A fight. What was he doing? Walking towards the large number of soldiers and engaging in fights.

He was almost to whatever they were guarding, he could feel it. It also showed in the soldiers, as instead of a few scattered ones bombarding him, they came in waves. They were like a strong, ruthless wall that had one purpose: to crush Lance. He wasn’t going to let them achieve this, though. So how do you defeat a wall? You destroy it. 

With all the agility and accuracy he had left in his tired body, he broke holes in all the walls. They crumpled around him. Lance wasn’t going to stop. There was something here, and he wasn't leaving without getting it. The blow he took to the ribs earlier caused howling pains every time he had to sharply twist his body. His shoulder continued to bleed and ache whenever he went to shoot his gun. He was tired. Quitting seemed like a good option at that point. But… He’s Lance fucking Mcclain, and he refused to let his team down.

The single hallway felt like ages, but he made it to the endt. Soldiers came in slower but bigger waves now, and if Lances mental note of their timing was correct, the next wave would be there in three minutes or so. A door greeted him. It looked like every other door that was in the hallway. It looked like the entrance of every other empty room he entered. 

Regardless, he stepped forward, the metal entrance parting with a hiss. The Room was pitch black, almost as if there was a black hole, swallowing any light that went forward. With short breath and wide eyes, Lance activated the flashlight his suit offered, and he saw what he hopped he would see. There, lying strapped down on a table and seemingly unconscious, was the black Paladin. The former leader of Voltron. The reason they were in space in the first place. The reason they all were together. It was shiro.

“Hey!” Lance said in surprise. “Shiro! Wake up!” His eyes didn't even flutter. The unison sound of tens of soldiers was heard down the hall, and panic started to rise in Lance as he knew he couldn't fight all of them off. With a slap to shiro's face, Lance yelled some more, but he must have been sedated. “Fine, guess i'll carry this almost two-hundred pound man. All by myself. With my frail, hundred and two pound and injured body. No problemo,”He said with a voice embarrassingly shaky from dear. “Guys?” he said into the com, admitting that he needs help. 

Lance was panicking. When the new wave of soldiers got here, he knew both of them were dead. He hyperventilated, he was frustrated, he was, well, scared.

But of course, the one time he was going to ask for help, the com wasnt working. His voice only came through to the others as clouds of static. As he went deeper into the wing the galra were purposely trying to jam the frequencies so he couldn't contact the ship.   
He almost accepted defeat right then and there, but the team needed shiro. Getting him to them was the top priority. 

Well, desperate measures, Lance thought. Reaching out as far as he could, he hoped this would work. Hey, blue? I need you, girl. It’s life or death. His thoughts rang in his mind, unaware if she heard him or not. To prepare for the instance that she didn't, he cut off shiro's restrains and put his arm behind his head. It was just like when Keith and him had carried him out of the garrison tent months earlier. Lance would give anything to have keith here with him right now. 

He started down the hallway, trying to get back to blue. The patterning of galra feet were getting closer and closer, a shiver running down Lances spine each time he heard the unison noise of them walking. He held up his gun with the arm he wasn't supporting shiro with, but of course that was the arm that a soldier had shot him in. Every movement was agony, every breath was a struggle.

“Shiro, man, you gotta wake up!” Lance tried again in desperation. The feeling he felt was hard to describe. It was one of those things you only understood when you actually feel it. IT was desperation, it was panic. He felt as though he was going to pass out from fear and exhaustion until something peculiar happened.

Some indistinguishable noise came over the Galra ships com. It was a sort of alarm, and Lance was sure there was a hidden message to it. The sound of running galras that had increased in volume were now getting quieter. They were running away from Lance. He felt so relieved he could have nealt down to the floor and cried. His gun dropped to his side and turned back into a bayard. And then, it dawned on him. He was carrying shiro. Shiro was alive and right there, so close to home. A weak laugh escaped Lances trembling lips and he got ready to start walking again.

Then, there was a crackle coming from the inside of his helmet. “CHH--ance! Lance!” Sounded Pidges voice. “Are you there? Where the hell are you? I don't know what’s happening, but every single gun and ship and cannon near or on the huge galra ship has turned to us. I think they might be combining their power or something. We need to get out NOW, or the ship will no doubt lose power and we-we might die. Lance, Please! Where are you!?”

“I’m here!” He said quickly. The newfound relief his body held was now gone, wiped away in a matter of seconds. Back to panic, back to fear, back to desperation. He felt as if he was about to cry because of how tight and sticky the situation was.

. His brain was firing away in his head and thoughts were entering and going at rapid speed. He needed to help. Just then, There was a large crash that nearly blew Lance and shiro away. It was the blue lion, her head bursting through the ship to give a hell of an escape vehicle. 

Luckily, Shiro was still wearing his paladin suit and helmet, so lance quickly activated their masks so they could leave the ship survive. There was a strong suction from outside the hole lances lion had made, and it was hard to get footing.

The thought of getting out of this ship was great and very tempting until he evaluated the situation. It’s too easy. It’s too simple. Why was shiro in a practically unguarded room?

It's because he was bait. Lance looked around and focused, really focused. What he saw next made every happy and joyful feeling leave his body. It made him cold. The galra had put up a cloaked particle barrier. You could only see it if you looked very closely, and he was sure the only reason he caught a glimpse at it was because he was inside the galra ship, but he knew the castle of lions was unaware of the fact that they were trapped. No matter what, they wouldn't be able to leave. It was Lance's fault the alarms had started. It was because of him. 

He wanted to say he made this decision with the brave face of a warrior, but Lance was a mess. He was shaking at what he knew he had to do.

“I'm on my way, fire up the wormhole,” Lance said to pidge through the com. With a shaky finger, he reached up to his helmet and disconnected the mic and speaker so he couldn't hear or reply to their messages. 

“Okay, blue. Listen closely girl,” He said, his voice still shaking. “I want you to take shiro and get back to the ship. No, i'm not coming with you, okay? I need to look out for my team and this is how.” His eyes filled with tears and soon enough they rolled down his face, accompanied by a muffled sob that escaped his mouth as blue told him I’m not leaving you behind. “You have to, girl. I’m sorry. I love you to the moon and back but i have to do this. I'm sorry our time together has been so short, But if i don't do this, all of you will be destroyed or killed.”

With reluctance, blues mouth opened, welcoming shiro. Lance looked at the unconscious face of their leader. “The team needs you,” he told him before practically throwing him into blues open mouth. A deep pur left the blue lion which Lance translated to mean “I’ll come back for you.”

Lance knew that he was basically accepting death right now. The blue lion would have nothing to come back to get, but he didn't admit this out loud. If Blue was reading his thoughts, she didn't say any reply to it. “I'm sorry,” he said in a quiet whisper. “Before you go, can you record a message?”

After the quick message, Lance hugged the large mechanical lion head and never wanted to let go. She leaned into his touch with sad purs. Lance was sure that if she wasn't mechanical, tears would be streaming down her face to match the ones falling down Lances. Sobs shook his body and he felt that they would never stop. The last thing he wanted to do was stop hugging the lion, who was basically his best friend. “I love you, blue,” He said after finally pulling away from her. “Can you grant me one dying wish? Make sure my team is taken care of. Protect my family for me. And blue? Go kick some alien ass for me.” He let out shaky laughs with this. His voice was raw and frail, breaking with every other word. It broke Lance's heart to hear the pain and defeat his own voice displayed.

She purred a message to Lance. It wasn't very translatable, but she was basically saluting him and telling him that he was a great paladin. She told him that she loved him. After that, She took her head out of the wall and flew off towards the castle of lions. The home Lance wouldn't be able to ever visit again.

She went off to the family he would never be able to see again. Lance turned on his heel and ran to the main level of the ship, trying not to think of what was to happen next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall ,,, sorry not sorry for that cliffhanger. The ending on this KILLED me to write and i apologize for it lmao. Its kinda hard to keep up with, but lots of things will be explained next chapter.  
> -  
> next chapter will be uploaded in three to four weeks and i hope yall bookmark the fic and stick around for it!   
> -  
> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave kudos and comments! your comments are what keep me writing honestly and i love all kinds of input. comments are the main way to flatter me.   
> -  
> tumblr: Lanceisthebest  
> instagram: supernatsirius


	3. They're all just kids with choices to make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team scrambles to get out if the situation they're in. We see the 4 remaining paladins and their two hosts react to missing a key member of their team. They're desperate to find out where he is and if he's okay 
> 
> Meanwhile, Lance is in a tricky situation. I'll leave it at that and let you explore what happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took a month and a half. School ended and I didn't right for a solid two weeks because of all the tests and prep I had.

“God, where is he!?”

“I don’t know, but we’re gonna be toast if we don’t get out of here, now.”

The castle of five were all in their designated chairs, two of them empty. The white hot beam from the ion cannon glowed like a star from the galra ship. A star that was about to shoot them and destroy their castle. 

“We aren’t leaving lance!” Pidge shouted back, voice cracking with determination that masking her fears. “He’ll be here in a second. We just need one more second!”

After Coran had stayed back and fixed the teleduv, they were all set to leave if they wanted to.The ship was getting closer and closer to the wormhole that was about to take them worlds away, and they were still missing a lion. The purple and blue swirls were calling them forward, telling them to go. They all wanted soar through it without looking back. The almost trancelike call of the safe wormhole was pushed aside, however, by the fact that they would be safe while their friend was stuck in the same situation they had been in before stealing the wormhole for themselfs. 

“He said he was on his way!” Keith said, stating the obvious to no one in particular. They were all desperate. The situation was tight and no matter what way you swung it, they would either get out of it thinly or not at all. Either they get annihilated by a weapon that looked like the force of three ion cannons or they get out but without their friend. “Lance, come in Lance!” Keith said through their helmets intercom for the seventh time that minute. Radio silence, for the seventh time.

The whole team were practically biting their nails with anticipation and nervousness, not knowing where their friend was in this violent atmosphere. Then, blaring lights. The castle room was filled with red flashing on beat with ear piercing alarms. 

“What’s happening?” Hunk called out, sweat almost dripping off his face.

After swiping through some altean screens, coran answered. “There seems to be a problem with the wormholer. There is something interfering with it. We can’t get out!”

There they were. Five people in a room. At the same exact moment, all of them accepted the fact that death or captivity will surely come. No way to get around it, no way to fight it. The cannon below glowed brighter, along with the red flashes still repeating in the room they were in. 

It was almost a whisper. “... Lance?” Keith said again in his helmet. “Come in, Lance.” But this wasn't what that sentence truly meant. He wasn't asking lance to only answer, those four words were asking him to save them. It was like a prayer to god. It was the words keith was sure were to be his last. 

Radio Silence again. In their helmets and in the room. Lance said nothing, nor did any of the other six. They just watched the glowing weapon expand and turn a violent shade of orange. They wondered if it would hurt when they got hit with it. 

Weird things go through your head when you are sure you are about to die. It’s a strange mix of thinking of family and friends you’re about to leave behind, but the next second you’re thinking things like “I wonder if heaven will have wifi. Did i leave the lights on in my dorm back at the garrison? Why does the voice of sarah mclachlan magically make me want to adopt a dog?”

As sudden as they had started, the thoughts of their lives ending stopped when something happened. All heads turned when they saw a fast blur of blue grace by the castle's windows. It could have been one thing; the blue lion. Waves and waves of relief drowned the inhabitants of the castle, and everyone seemed to visually relax despite the fact that there was a fiery laser of death prepared to shoot them in about a minute.

Sounds of whooping laughter sounded by pidge and hunk, elated at having their friend back. Keith flopped forward in his seat as the stiffness of worry left him. Lance was here, he’s okay. He was back home. The promise he had made replayed in his head every second lance wasn't in that room with them. “Let me get through this mission and i promise i will go in a cryopod and rest up after, deal?” He had told keith. He was going to hold that to him.

“I hate to be the bringer of bad news,” Allura said grimly. “But we are still trapped here, even if lance has returned.” It was back. The thoughts of demise and the people on earth that would probably never learn what happened to them. Knowing that lance had just arrived at the castle made it even worse, they just got their friend back and they couldn’t even bathe in the joy of it.

“Is there anything we can do?” Hunk asked. “I mean, we can’t just give up!”

Everyone in the castle knew the answer to that. Even if there was something they could do, it was too late. They didn’t even know what was stopping them from wormholing, so they couldn’t fix it.

“How long until it fires?” Keith asked wearily. 

“Less than 40 seconds.”

Together they sat in that cold, dark room. Creating a mental checklist of their life and all the things they’ve done, all the things they havn’t done. The last meal they ate, the last movie they watched, the last time they spoke to their friends back on earth. Those moments were the last time they would ever watch television or joke with people they love. Or so they thought. 

“It’s been great getting to know you guys,” Pidge said, focusing her eyes on the big window in the room. Her neck was concrete and refused to turn and look at the others. She would never find her brother or father. Her mother was all alone. 

“This, voltron, is probably the coolest thing i could ever do in life, so maybe it’s worth it…” Hunk said optimistically. But on the inside, he wanted to eat dinner with his family. He wanted to wrap lance in a big hug and tell him that he’s glad he is back. 

“Y-you guys are the closest thing to a family i’ve ever had.” The words left keith's mouth before he could stop them, but he realised he didn’t want to stop them. That statement was true and that was the last opportunity he would ever have to tell them that. He wish lance could hear it. He wished lance wasn’t down by himself at the hanger, probably oblivious to the fact that they were trapped.

Crack. Crack. Electricity flashed and whipped through space, capturing the ship's eyes. They finally got to see why they couldn't leave. A huge orb that surrounded them was now glowing and crackling like lightning. It was a particle barrier, a cloaked one. And it was malfunctioning. It was unclear if was the cloaking device that wasn’t working, or if it was the barrier itself, but hope flooded the paladins.

“Allura! Can we get out?” Keith said, snapping everyone out of their stunned silence. The orange ball of energy illuminated the room, framing all their faces with a fiery glow.

“I-i ,” She stuttered. Moving her fingers across her floating screen, she made a sharp gasp noise that may have been a laugh. “Yes!”

And they did. Without a second to lose, the ship maneuvered its way through a wormhole and away from danger. Right as the end of the ship began to fling across galaxies and worlds, they heard the yell of the giant ion cannon behind them. They saw the calming orange glow grow brighter as it got closer. The castle was hot, giving them a small taste of what it would've been like if they actually got hit by the laser. 

The ship was moving steadily, blue and purple spiraling around them.

“Are we good? Did we make it?” Hunk asked.

“We are many galaxies away from the ship. We made it,” Allura said with a proud smile and a look in her eyes that displayed emotion beyond words. 

The whole ship simultaneously exhaled. Their shoulders relaxed and slumped back into their chairs. Smirks carved into their cheeks and wouldn’t go away. They were high on survival. 

“Well,” Pidge said, adjusting her glasses with a shaky hand. “I don’t know what you guys think, but that was a pretty easy mission, in my opinion.”

“Yeah, couldn’t have gone better,” Hunk replied with matched sarcasm. A deep snort like laugh left keith. He was going to add on to this comedic conversation until he remembered with a jolt. 

“Lance!” Keith shouted as soon as the word popped into his head.

Hunk and pidge looked at each other. “Lance,” They said in unison.

As keith sprinted down to the hanger with the rest of the castle, he remembered how he had done this over a week ago. He remembered the hall he ran in just as he was running now. He remembered the agonizingly slow open of the black lions doors and the silence that followed after seeing an empty chair. 

There they were, at the newly parked blue lion. Keith, Pidge and Hunk ran ahead of the two alteans, but they weren’t far behind. The door opened in the same slow hiss that it had on the other lion. 

“Lance,” Keith said, rushing in to the man in the chair. “Are you okay?” But the man didn’t respond because he was asleep. Also, it wasn’t the man they were expecting. This one had black in the place that blue should’ve been in. His arms were bigger and a straight scar ran across his nose. 

The difference in reactions was interesting and unexplainable. Silence had clogged the air like an unseeable force, haunting and memorable when they saw the empty seat in the black lion. But as the team filled into blue, they were anything but quiet. 

“Sh-shiro?” Pidge said, adjusting her glasses as if thinking it was making her see a whole different person. Once deciding on the fact that he was actually there, she shook him with desperate hands. “Shiro! Wake up! Wh-where’s Lance?”

“Uh, Buddy? Lance, get out here you ass, this isn’t funny!” Hunk shouted. 

“I- i don’t understand,” Allura repeated over and over again, eyes wide. 

Coran desperately listed off unhelpful comments. “Is lance under the chair? Maybe he's in the hall and is going to jump out and scare us!”

Pidge continued to shake and yell at shiro, who was obviously unconscious. Shouts calling out to lance who wasn’t there were still being vocalized by Hunk. The room was filled with people talking over each other but to no one in particular. Voices crescendoed, desperation filled the room like a leaky ship filled with water.

However, a burning contrast to the continuous comments and yells from his teammates, keith had his eyes silently fixed to the chair that should’ve been lances. Not a sound left him.

“Hey guys,” A memorable but broken sounded voice said from the other side of the lion. 

“Lance!” Hunk shouted loudly, running to embrace the friend that stood there. But he stopped abruptly when he saw the bluish tint that radiated from lance. His eyes scanned him and saw that there were faint digital lines running diagonally across him. He was a hologram, hunk realised as the rest of the team walked over to the broadcasted lance and realised the same thing. 

“Sorry i have to rush through this, but i’m kind of in a hurry,” Lance said. The tears running down his cheeks were prominent, as was his own blood that covered his arm. He was slumped over like he had just ran a 5k. Despite all of that, the most prominent thing about im were his eyes. Not his tears, but the look in them. It relied a sort of deep and unignorable sadness that only comes with goodbyes. The blue around his pupils were dark and stormy. Keith missed the startling blue they were before. The blue he got lost in. 

“You’re all trapped. There”s a particle barrier surrounding you, but if you are watching this you probably know that, and it probably means i succeeded. I found shiro, he was the bait and i fell for it.” Lance's words were rushed but it felt that each one of them caused him pain. “I can’t have my team dying on me from that big ass cannon, so leave it to me. I’ll try my best to shut the particle barrier off but something tells me it's not going to be easy.” A pained laugh left his mouth but his eyes didn’t lighten up in the slightest. 

The paladins all watched with wide eyes, wanting lance to rush more and get to the point, which he did in the next line. “I told blue to take shiro and… and to leave me behind. I'd lie, but as these may be my last words i'll make them honest ones. There isn’t a big chance i’ll survive, and i'm… scared.” As lance's voice got heavy with restrained tears, everyone in the blue lion took deep, gasp like breaths. Pidges eyes filled with tears to match the ones forming in lance's eyes. 

There isn’t anything more heartbreaking than seeing your bubbly best friend break down. He wasn’t holding it back anymore. Lance sunk to his knees as a loud sob shook his body and more tears hit the floor. He didn’t cry like you see in movies, with one tear glamorously rolling down the actors cheek with their expression unchanging. Lances’ features crumbled. He sniffled after another sob was ripped from his throat. All their hearts were broken. 

“I- i don’t want to die, but i think i'm about to. You guys need shiro, he’ll help you through all of this. Hunk, pidge, You two better keep your bright minds. I want the best for you two. Hunk, can you tell my mom that… i wanted nothing more than to see her again…?” Hunk looked mortified, tears swam in his eyes as he watched his friend speak to him for the last time. Pidge wiped away tears under her glasses every few seconds. “Shiro, Allura, Coran… Thank you guys for this adventure. It’s been a wild ride…” Lance seemed to forget about the rush he was in, as he trailed off every few seconds. His sobs had subsided enough to get full sentences out. 

“And keith…” At the sound of his name, he jolted and leaned forward a bit, mouth closed tightly and eyes wide with a mix of anticipation, fear, and sadness. “I was looking forward to getting to be better friends with you. I guess i'm breaking my promise about the cryopod, oops… when i’m around you, it’s like the whole room lights up. You showed that you cared about me, something i doubted before this week. i think… i think i’m- i…” Lance kept trailing off and hesitating at what he was thinking about saying. You think you’re what?, keith thought in utter desperation. He failed to notice the tear that ran down his own face. “Pour out a hot chocolate for me, will you?” Lance said after a few moments, abandoning the line he as troubling over.

He had a smirk on his face, but it didn’t look pained this time. The cloudiness in his eyes seemed to have lightened a bit to the eyes keith missed so much. “I’m sorry, everyone. Don’t blame yourself for this… you all better comision a huge ass statue of me when you get back to earth… I love you all more than words can say. You can’t explain something as important as love with only 26 letters in the alphabet. I’m sorry.” His eyes gleamed and shimmered as he gave the camera a heartfelt smile. He looked strangely hopeful. He looked like lance. 

And with that, the hologram shut off. The five of them plus shiro were left in a dark lion, that last look lance gave them seared into their memory. There it was… The silence. It was back in its haunting way that clung onto each of them. Their brains fired away rapidly while their body sat there with no idea of what to do. Keiths body, on the other hand, resulted to listening to his mind and emotions. 

In an uncharacteristic act, he let out a loud, emotional grunt and more tears streamed down. His legs gave out and he sunk down, sitting on his heels and his knees to his chest. Hands were slack at his sides and made no attempt to wipe at the wetness on his face. He was done, he was gone. He couldn’t do it anymore. He had to let all of it out. Other than the gasps and sniffles that rang around the lion from keith, all the others were quiet. They didn’t even look at keith, all their eyes were fixed on one item in the room, the place lance’s hologram was projected minutes earlier. 

“W-why does he have to be such a hero?” Keith said to no one in particular. Everyone's eyes were still fixed on the spot. “He could have radioed us.. He could have told us…” His knees extended and he was suddenly standing. “He could have fucking told us!” The sound of keiths fist hitting the metal side of blue radiated through the lions inside. He hit it again, and again. The only mark he made on the hard wall was from the blood of his fist that stained the wall with each blow. Tears left his eyes as he grunted. He yelled, he screamed. All the emotion and distance he felt through basically his entire life seemed to resurface at that moment, and now he wasn’t covering it up. 

In the emotion of everything, keith forgot that blue had a conscience and could comprehend the fact that he was repeatedly punching her. In any other instance she would have been annoyed, but she let him do it, because she understood keiths anger and pain. She felt the same way. 

************

It was a day after he had watched blue fly back to his home while carrying his friend, and the one thought he had been certain on a majority of that day is that being dead sucks ass. Very, very boring. 

It had been nothing but black after he had gotten hit. Let’s set the stage. Lance just sent blue away and now he’s running to death. He has to take down the particle barrier. While looking at all the rooms through the cameras earlier, lance luckily saw where he needed to go. 

There were many rooms full of tech and control panels, but the one lance was going to had displayed pictures of the ship, had more buttons than the reset of the rooms, and it looked like a segment of the long control panel (which had a large lever on it) had been added very recently. That’s where the particle barrier was controlled. Oh, don't forget about the fact that that room was the most heavily guarded out of all the other rooms on the ship.. All the energy that needed to fuel both the barrier and the large ion cannon must've been more than they had, so it seemed as if some galra had their hands on these sensors that were all around the room. 

Lances theory is that they were somehow transferring their energy to the ship to give it more power. Guards took turns on these sensors, and because of this the room was packed with gun carrying soldiers. His stomach dropped when he realized he had to go to that room. Lance didn't want a fight because he knew he couldn’t win. With the two beeding cuts he had and his aching ribs he knew he wouldn’t last more than five minutes.

But he knew that when he sent blue away, lance was staying here for death. Why else would the galra use shiro as bait to trap them. Why else would they fire a huge ion cannon at them. The galra wanted the people who destroyed their empire to be dead. Unfortunately, this ship was full of galra and lance happened to be one of the pricks that killed their main man. Oops. the second they saw lance they would fire. They would kill. 

He was anything but fine with that. He wanted to see see his family again. He wanted to joke around with hunk and pidge. He wanted to tell keith the sentence he was too scared to finish over the message. 

But he had no choice now. Too late. Now or never. His plan was to distract the soldiers so they take their hands off the twenty-five sensors around the room. 

Running down the hall, he dreaded the thought of going into that room because he knew what await. He felt like a teenager walking into his parents bedroom to tell them he got a girl pregnant or something. Regardless, he went in after seeing how bright orange the ion cannon was getting. He needed to hurry. 

“Did you guys forget about me? I’m offended,” he said in typical lance fashion after entering. Before the galra could react, he was firing like mad. He wasn't even aiming much, he let the gun do the talking and shoot wherever it could as soldier by soldier took their hand of the sensors to fight him. His pleasure at this didn’t last long as more galra swarmed in to place their hands on the abandoned pads. Now lance had to fight even more. Great. 

Noise surrounded him, bullets graced him. His head spun in a swarm of dizziness and his breathing rasped against his lungs even with the smallest of inhales. He had barely made a dent in the number of galra the room held. And of course, what was bound to happen, happened. Lance was shot.

A bullet seared into the side of his abdomen, too close to his organs and the things keeping him alive for comfort. An involuntary yell ripped from his throat as blood seemed down his suit. Whoever had to clean this blood stained, grimy, sweaty suit for his funeral had a hell of a job. 

The large window in the room had a direct view of the castle of lions and the glowing laser that threatened it. He saw a blur of blue enter the ship and smiled at the safe return of his lion and shiro. Lance wondered what they all were thinking right about now. They must’ve realized there was a particle barrier. Were they yelling at lance through the radio to get back to the ship? Were they trying to find a way arround the situation?

Lance snapped out of it. It didn't matter what hey were doing at that moment, it mattered what he did and how he helped them. The flow of blood got heavier as his head filled with swirls. He felt warm, like he was laying on a beach or eating his mother's cookies fresh out of the oven. He needed to act quick before he blacked out.

Getting the galra off their sensors was out of the question, there were too many of them. His last option was to somehow turn off the process of activating the particle barrier. How did he do this? By pulling the lever. He got up off the knee he had sunk to in pain, and made slow steps to the lever in the newly added dashboard. He made weak shots at the soldiers running up to him. They were grabbing him, pushing him, one touched his bullet wound and lance yelled out again. He wouldn’t make it over there. 

He wouldn’t let his sacrifice be in vain. He wants a heroic death, and letting his team down isn't worthy of one. What else could he do? He couldn't reach the lever. He thought back to his team. What would they do? 

With all the strength his fading body held, he put his gun up and made a planned shot. Pew, and explosion. The box the lever was on top of caught fire with lances shot, making all the galra in the room yell and panic as more of the machinery burned. They let lance go and he almost dropped to the ground, but he kept on his feet with one purpose. 

The room was chaos, with fire spreading and galra trying hard to get the machinery working again. Flames, yells. Flames, yells. But lance only did one thing. He walked to the large window slowly, no noise in his head, no flames in his eyes. The only thing in that room was the window that displayed the castle he called a home. The particle barrier crackled with electricity, mimicking the box the lever was on.

The edges of his eyesight got black and fuzzy, warning him that death was near. His whole body was cold now. The last thing he saw was the boosters on the castle kick in as they succesfully wormholed away from lance. 

“Get him!” a galra said angrily after accepting the defeat of broken tech. Hands grabbed onto lance, he didn’t feel them. 

************

The contrast of open eyes against over a week of closed ones made his eyes itch and his mind explode with questions. The first thing shiro saw was the blue fog of the cryopod he was in hiss and open, releasing him to the outside world.

He thought he had been dead, but there he was, eyes open and standing in the infirmary with the fellow paladins there too. Shiro hoped he wasn’t dreaming, but he knew it wasn’t a dream. That week and a half of darkness didn’t give him the luxury of dreaming.

He quickly put two and two together to assume his friends rescued him from wherever he had been. But they didn’t look all too happy. Some of them stared at the floor and didn’t look up even when they were aware of the fact that shiro stood there. Some did look up, and when they saw he was free they walked over. 

“Welcome back, shiro,” Allura said with a slight smile. But that smile held so many different emotions. Her eyes told a story of happiness at their returning friend but she smiled as if it hurt her. She smiled like the edges of her mouth were razors painfully slicing at her cheeks. It told a story of the friend they lost. 

“Hey guys,” Shiro said back wearily, no knowing what else to say. But a smile was on his face nonetheless. Zarkon is gone, his friends are here, he’s free. So why did they all look so upset? “What happened?” he asked. He scanned the room, half the people in it were still looking at the floor and refusing to look up. 

Calmly and slowly, keith raised his head up, black hair framing his face. Shiro noted the same look in his face that had been in alluras; two different stories being told by one person. “That’s what we’re trying to figure out, actually,” he said. “We got a distress call. We went down to them and it was a trap. A big galra ship came and… he… found you on it and sent you back to us while we were trapped by the ship.” keith was avoiding all eye contact. The weak attempt he had made at smiling withered away to nothing and now he displayed a pure picture of longing. 

Feeling more confused than he had before, shiro scanned the room again. “Wait… who’s ‘he’? And where’s lance?”

Sharp inhales were heard around the room. Some heads jolted to face shiro at the mention of lance's name. Some of them hid their faces even more. Pidge shivered, hunks eyes were wide and hidden by the hair that covered his hung head. Keiths eyebrows furrowed together to depict anger he didn’t truly feel; anger he was using as a mask. 

Shiro was worried now. Why were they acting so strange and who was ‘he’? Keith is usually a straightforward person and not one to use ambiguous pronouns. Lance was nowhere in sight. “...guys?” He asked again. Shiro was still standing there in the pod, the skintight suit still on and no one asking if he was okay or if he needed anything to eat. They all look so drained. 

It was allura who spoke next, taking charge. “Go get dressed and i’ll meet you in the blue lions hanger. We’ll show you what’s going on there.”

“Okay,” Shiro said skeptically. He got out of the pod and walked down the long catwalk on the way to his room. No one looked at him. No one offered to help him. They were all trapped in their minds. He didn’t know why he was going to blues hanger, and he didn't know who had sent him back to the ship. He prepared for the worst, he hadn’t seen anything affect his team like that and he knew it had to be something truly awful. 

Dressed and slowly walking down to the place he was meeting the team, he still tried to prepare himself, to think of all the hypotheticals that could come true in the next few minutes. But little did shiro know at that moment, no matter how much he tried to be ready, what he was about to watch next was much more than he ever could’ve prepared for. 

When he entered the room, he saw coran, allura and pidge there. Hunk and Keith weren’t. 

“Come here,” Allura said, gesturing for him to enter blue. And he did. “Blue… can you play the-the video for him?” she asked the lion in a soft voice. And suddenly lance was in front of him, bloody, sad, tired looking. Allura put a firm hand on hiro's shoulder and left the lion. She didn’t close the door though, so the three standing outside painfully listened to the recording again. 

“Hey guys. Sorry i have to rush through this, but i'm kind of in a hurry. You’re all trapped…”

____________

What do you do when you’re surrounded by darkness in all hours of the day? Lance has done everything imaginable. He created a plot for a new tv show that would be kick ass. He tried to remember the plot of every single parks and recreation episode and recap them in his head. God, being dead was boring. It’s been this quiet darkness since he got shot in the control room.

It was agonizing. He couldn’t get his friends out of his head, as what else is there to think about? He thought about how they might react to his video. He wasn’t going to lie to himself and think “Oh, well they’ll get over it. They don’t care about me and they will just find a replacement.” He knew this wasn’t the truth. He knew his friends cared about him and he knew he was breaking their hearts. But a few broken hearts isn’t as bad as all six of them dying. 

He tried to imagine each of their reactions. Hunk wouldn’t talk to anyone and he will probably hide in his room for awhile. Pidge would try to analyze the situation and find some sort of code hidden in lance's video. Allura and shiro would probably be a little shaken but keep a strong face for the rest of the team. Coran would no doubt be upset, and he might even blame himself as this was the second time lance had saved him at the expense of his own health.

The person lance couldn’t figure out is keith. He honestly had no idea how he would react to the video. Lance had tried to not think about his friends, it made the darkness feel more lonely. But as the name ‘Keith’ popped into his head, the darkness got lighter. It was like someone opened the blinds. To be honest, lance had this light feeling in him whenever he saw or thought of keith recently, in or out of the darkness.

Why did he feel like this? Keith is just a new friend of lance, it’s nothing extraordinary, he tried to convince himself. But if he was just friends with him, why does it feel so different than say, lance and hunks friendship. It was like a whole nother terrin. Two different worlds. Deep down, lance knew what it is. He knew what it was because he was so close to saying it in that video. Why didn’t he say it? 

There was another light, but this time it was a physical one and it definitely wasn’t caused by keith. “Rise and Shine…” an eerie voice sounded. The light was like someone poked a hole in his mind, and the hole was ripping, letting more light in slowley. He was aware of his body now, his eyes blinked at the light after so much darkness. He wasn’t dead, and an unfamiliar woman was standing over him with a wicked smile on her face. “We have lots of work to do.”

_____________

The whole castle felt cold. Every room, every inch, every breath was cold. It was because the warmest person of them all was gone, and it was freezing the heart of the castle. They wanted him back.

Keith was laying in his bed, blankets all jumbled on the floor. He was cold, but the blankets wouldn’t help. He felt dull. He felt like the light was gone. But most of all, he felt guilty.

He felt guilty because he had no reason to be this upset. Hunk knew lance the longest, keith should be helping his team out and trying to cheer them up, not hiding away in his room. He felt guilty because if he had offered to go to the left wing with lance when they talked on the coms, maybe both of them would’ve gotten out of the ship. Maybe both of them would have died, which was better than lance dying alone and scared. He felt guilty because he was keith, and that is what he always felt. One little thing gone differently, and they might not be in this mess. Keith took responsibility for not seizing the small changes. For not noticing what lance was up to. He felt guilty and it was eating him up inside. 

Shiro would be finishing the video by now, keith remembered. He couldn’t bring himself to go down there. Part of keith wanted to be on his feet, looking at every fact and every detail, trying to figure out how to get lance back. They didn’t know if he was dead. He could have escaped and is looking for them right now, or he may be a prisoner, which is better than being dead. HE wanted to try and look into these possibilities, doing everything to get his new friend back, but his legs couldn’t work. Someone tied weights to his legs and he couldn’t move them. He felt guilty because of this, too. 

Keith thought about the warmth he felt when lance was around him. He remembered the hot chocolate and the blankets and the stars. He remembered their feet touching. He remembered that after that night, a new feeling had emerged. It was something he had only felt a few times, and he knew what it was. He liked lance. He like liked lance, and it had him shook to his core. He tried to ignore it and pretend it didn’t exist, but it yelled in his mind, demanding attention. Even now, he tried ignoring it. Because he knew, it didn’t matter what feelings he had for lance because he would never get to share the feelings with him. That was the worst part of all of this.

The sound of someone slowly walking down the dorm hall was heard. Keith put all his willpower into his limbs that didn’t want to work and tried to look decent. He couldn’t erase the dark bags he had under his eyes or the mess of blankets that reflected the angry thrashing fit he had when he got back to his room, but he could at least wipe away the crusted tear tracks against his cheeks and tuck sweat plastered hair behind his ears. The rooms door opened with a hiss and he was greeted by shiro. 

His eyes were wide and very perceptive looking, as if he was trying to determine if he was dreaming or not. He looked ill despite recently getting out of a pod. He looked older, like his scar was more prominent and his grey hair was spreading. And keith knew that none of this was physical. Shiro looked the same as he always did but lance's video must have done a toll on him, as it did to everyone else. 

“We all need to have a meeting. Can you come to the lounge in a half an hour?” shiro asked in a surprisingly stable voice.

Keith just nodded, his lips not wanting to move just like the rest of his body. The two of their eyes locked for a second even with keith trying to look anywhere but shiro. Physically and emotionally, Keith looked a mess. The slight adjustments he made before shiro entered only made his eyes look redder and his hair more noticeably slick with sweat. His eyes displayed contradictory messages of strongness and withholding, but at the same time looked like keith was about to break down at any second. 

“You okay?” shiro asked, to which keith gave another, smaller nod to. Of course he wasn’t okay, and shiro saw that. Anyone could see that. “it’s okay to not be okay, you know…” he told him in signature dad fashion. Keith gave a third nod of understanding. “I’ll see you in there,” Shiro said finally, turning to leave.

Keith felt another twinge of guilt piling onto the already heaping pile. Shiro finished watching lance's video not only five minutes ago, and here he was seeing if keith was okay and planning meeting for them. Shiro cared about lance as much as the rest of them did, but you didn’t see him incapacitated and basically rendered useless because of grief like keith was. 

Using all his willpower in his unresponding body, keith finally spoke in an embarrassingly high and shaky voice. “Hey, shiro? It’s okay to not be okay,” He repeated back to him, wanting their leader to know the same thing. 

Shiro gave a slight smile of appreciation and for a few seconds keith saw his eyes fall and reflect the sadness he knew he felt under layers of leadership. He nodded to keith and turned around, exiting the doorway and walking down the hall. 

Flopping back onto his pillow, keith whispered to himself. “I’m okay,” He said, trying to comfort himself. “I’m okay.” He was staring at the ceiling. “I’m okay,” his voice was louder and was shakier, reflecting the tears he was trying to hold back. “I’m okay.” it almost sounded angry now, like he was forcing these words. “I’m… i’m…” They spilled down. A fresh batch of tears he had been trying to repress flooded his cheeks as he closed his eyes so tightly he saw red. 

He opened his eyes to look at the ceiling again. “I’m not okay,” He said truthfully. He really wasn't okay. He longed for the warmth of lance. He felt guilty for crying when he knew lance probably the least out of the team. He felt guilty because he made their relationship into something lance probably didn’t feel back. He felt longing and guilt and empty but so full of emotion at the same time. 

Keith wasn’t okay, and that’s okay. 

After lots of tears and a wet pillow, keith realised he had to go to the lounge to meet with everyone. If there was a list tittled ‘everything keith would rather die than do’, going to the lounge at that moment would be the first thing on there. Even in his room, the atmosphere of the castle was very unaligned. Everyone was tormented and beating themselves up. Their excited, loud friend was gone. Balances were off. 

He couldn't face his team. He felt as if guilt seeped off him. Would they blame him for what happened to lance? There was no reason to, as keith truly wasn’t at fault. The real question is if they would notice the self blame keith was putting himself under. 

Keith went to wipe his face or put his hair up until he thought, ‘what’s the point?’ He stopped in his tracks and agreed with the voice in his head. He didn't do anything with his sweat drenched shirt or hair. He didn’t even wash the tears off his face. What’s the point? 

The door opened with a hiss as keith walked through it and to the lounge with his head down. With each step down the hall, more weight was added to keith's foot. A mysterious force was locking him into a ball and chain that got heavier each time his foot hit the ground. He could barely move his foot now. He wanted to retreat back to his room and not come out for a decade, but he had to go to that meeting. He owed it to the team.

Kicking off the invisible weight, he moved down the rest of the hall and into the lounge, where his whole team was waiting for him. For a room with six, usually loud people in it, you can hear a pin drop. Keith felt eyes on him as he filled the last seat in the room (well, other than lances) but he didn’t look up, black sweaty hair dangled over his face that was looking down at his feet.

With a quieter than usual voice, shiro spoke. “So… what happened?” he asked. It was a simple question that caused the scenes of the previous day to replay in all their heads. No one spoke up. After the words had left shiro's mouth, the room went back to being stagnant. 

Keith wanted nothing more than to stay quiet and blend into the room, but he knew more than the rest of the team. It was him who needed to speak. Opening his lips of lead and unsure if any sound would even come out, he tried to explain. “We got a distress beacon and went to go check it out… lance went in alone. It was a trap and a bunch of fighters came out…” keith had to take small breaks between sentences to steady himself. He didn’t want to break down in front of them again. “He called me and pidge for backup and we got there but he had to fight them off by himself for a few minutes. He got a little tossed around but he was still on his feet.”

“Wait,” shiro said before keith started his next sentence. “Why was lance the one to go in alone?”

A piece of ice impaled keiths heart and spread across his body. After hesitating a few seconds, keith spoke in a voice that sounding nothing like his own. “Because he commanded it, because i made him leader.” Out of everything that happened the past week, this made keith feel the guiltiest. This is where the chain reaction laid. If keith had been considerate of lances physical problems and didn’t make him leader, the whole rest of what he was about to explain to shiro may have never happened. Keith expected shiro to be angry at him for disobeying his command to become leader. He thought he would question keith to why he didn’t take on the title. Instead, shiro gave a small nod to tell keith to continue talking. 

“There were lots of soldiers. It was definitely an intense battle and… he was already pretty beat up from the battle with zarkon.” The more keith talked the more he pictured what he could have done differently. He imagined all the tiny things he could have done to erase the part of the story shiro was actually asking about. “He… blew up parts of the room to destroy the ships in there and at that point most of the soldiers were gone. Pidge stayed back while me, lance and hunk went to the big galra ship that showed up while he were fighting.” 

“Why did you go to the ship?” shiro asked.

“To look for information on you,” Keith answered. He felt the strong wall he built up start to unravel. His voice was cracking and there was a lump in his throat. He didn’t want to continue but he did. “He found a control room with security camera footage and he talked to me through the rooms intercom and… he uh…” it was like a road block was in his mind. The story was a simple one but it took unbelievable effort to relay it. This was the part the rest of the team didn’t know about, it's the part they wanted to hear but keith was at a loss of words. His tongue was cut off, he forgot how to speak. “I… he told me…” The stutters didn't end. Water filled his eyes and dripped onto his thighs without even rolling down his cheek first. 

Then, a hand reached out. Pidge put her hand on keith's shoulder comfortingly. In a state of shock and his senses high, he jumped a bit but then relaxed into the touch. Another hand. This one was hunks. The two hands seemed to snap him out of it, it reminded him the others were there and they needed to know the story. With a deep, audible breath, keith continued with a shakier voice. 

“He said that the second levels left wing wasn't on any of the cameras so the galra were probably hiding something there.” he took another deep breath and mumbled “I Should’ve gone with him. We could’ve easily met up. I should've known there were too many guards there” Keith didn’t know if he was saying this to his team or to himself but he felt it as true. His teammates didn’t comment on the guilt filled mumbles keith added, probably because they didn’t know what to say.

Snapping out of it again, keith finished. “He must’ve found you in the wing but had to fight his way out. He was probably tired and really hurt because of the injuries we saw he had on th-the video. From the ship he must’ve saw the cloaked particle barrier we didn’t see as a big ion cannon was getting ready to blast us. Lance told us he was on his way then must’ve disconnected his com. He recorded the video and sent you back to the castle in the blue lion. We saw the lion and assumed it was him. Then… he must’ve done something to turn the barrier off and we wormholed away… without him.”

Shiro was sitting in the same spot with the same hard expression on the entire time keith was explaining what happened. His arms were crossed and his mouth was closed. He looked very standoffish and keith was wondering what was going through his mind right now. There was silence between the whole ship as shiro continued to sit like that, unmoving. In that silence, any bit of keith that wasn’t devoured by guilt disappeared. Shiro was definitely angry with him, the team was definitely angry at him. Keith was angry at himself. By explaining what happened out loud, the scenario was so much clearer, and it was so much clearer that keith was to blame for everything. Is this true? That’s objective, but what matters is that keith believes it and his mind is locked onto it.

“So,” shiro said, opening his eyes. Keith saw a storm of emotion in them. Anger wasn't among them. “What do you think we should do next?” He asked the team.

At this, everyone picked up their heads and looked at each other. Strangely, none of them had really thought about what their next step was. They were too busy, the new adjustments to the team members (losing one, gaining one) caused their mind to be too busy to think about much other than lance being gone and shiro coming back.

“You’re the leader, shiro,” said pidge.

“We’re a team. I’m not going to make a decision on this alone. What do you think, hunk?”

Hunk, who hadn't said anything to anyone since watching the video, turned his head towards shiro. His face and body language had a vibe of defeat, of tiredness. But in a voice bold and strong, hunk opened his mouth and said “I think we should fight. I'm not going to give up unless i see lance die with my own two eyes.”

“Keith?”

“I have to make this right. I'm not giving up either.” 

“Pidge?” 

“Between the information keith and hunk brought back from the ship and the queen i kidnapped, it gives us a good shot at finding lance. Let’s bring him home.”

Surprisingly, a smile small was on shiro's face. “Alright team. Lance is priority number one. It probably won’t be an easy mission, and there is a strong probability that… it’s too late. But i won't rest until we find lance, no matter the state he’s in. Let’s get to work.”

Cheers didn’t flood the room like they usually do after an inspiring speech, but the atmosphere definitely had a change. The slow, heavy silence of broken people had turned into a tight vibe of encouraged soldiers, ready to bring their friend back. 

“Wait, pidge, who did you kidnap?”

______________________  
Imagine sleeping for a day straight, then the second you wake up someone shines the world's brightest phone in your face. Not fun. That’s what it felt like to lance. After he got over the initial shock of ‘wow, i'm not dead,’ it dawned on him how messed up he was. His body physically ached and the new light felt as if it would make his eyes fall out. 

He was currently being shoved down a hall by a few guards, each of them bearing the same red symbol that the fighters had wore in the ice castle battle. Confusion swarmed into his head. Was this some weird, hell induced vision? Or was it reality? And just when lance was getting used to being dead. 

He looked down at himself. He had his black underarmor on but all the plates were off. The hole in his suit near his abdomen showed a tight, white bandage wrapped around him under the suit, for the bullet wound. It felt like his other injuries had been tended to, also. That sprung more questions into lance's mind. Primarily, why are they keeping him alive? What’s the point? They might want to go full on into torture. Maybe getting shot dead isn’t painful enough. 

That lead to lance wondering where they were taking him. It appeared he was still in the same ship he was in before; he recognized some of the rooms and halls. The guards were dragging him along by the arms, his legs unmoving and scraping against the floor. He was too tired to walk, too in pain. In Fact, he didn’t even bother trying to move because he knew the cocktail of two bullet wounds, broken ribs, and various other cuts were more than what he could handle. 

Suddenly, the guards took a right turn and brought him into a room. When Lance saw it, he almost laughed. It looked like an interrogation room straight out of a C.S.I episode, complete with a table, two chairs on opposite sides, and a lamp on the dark table. 

A big, galra woman sat in one of the chairs, wearing the same armor and red patch the others had. She also had a large, red cape attaches to the neck of her suit. As quick as they had entered, the guards shoved Lance into the chair and tied a thick red rope around his wrists, behind his back. Lance thought, those aren't necessary, as he wasn't going to be running, or even standing on his own for a while. Even the action of sitting down made every inch of him hurt. 

He felt like roadkill, he felt defeated. To think that back at the garison Lance would be complaining for days about getting a simple head cold. He would give anything to go back to those days, where is biggest worry was a test in physics class. The thought of his friends dying didn't even cross his mind. When brought into a new room at the garison, he was scared of a new teacher yelling at him. Now, being brought into this new room, so many possibilities sprung fear into his body. He knew he wasn't getting out of this room unscathed. 

“So,” Lance said in a voice so rough and gritty it didn't sound like his own. “Is this some sort of blind date kind of thing? Well, my name's Lance, I like long walks on the beach, I'm a Leo, I love cat-” 

“Quiet,” the women said in an unemotional voice. 

“Oh, so straight to it?” 

“We're in charge here, not you,” she answered back. “Keep talking like that and the bullet wound in your abdomen will look like a papercut compared to what we'll do to you.”

Lance smiled a wide smirk. “Jokes on you, lady, my will to live is long gone.” He was just hiding the fear.

The galra woman's face looked hard and angry. Purple hair like fur ran was slicked down her head and ran all the way down her back. Large furry ears sprouted out of her head. She looked calculative and agile. She looked like someone you don't want to get on the bad side of. 

“Do you know why you’re here?” she asked, reminding lance of an old teacher he had that supervised detention. 

“I heard there was a kick ass party on this ship with strippers and stuff, so i was just checking it out. You know, it's not very polite to shoot and stab one of your partygoers.”

The woman's face remained unemotional but lance noticed her jaw become a bit more defined and her eyebrow twitch a bit. If there was anything lance loved, its annoying people who want to kill him. 

“I’m a leader in a new gajra society, and let's just say that we aren't too pleased with you killing our emperor.”

“Yeah well i'm not too pleased with y’all killing and enslaving innocent people so let's call the feeling mutual.” She didn’t seem amused by his comment. Wiggling his wrists in their tight rope restraints, lance spoke up again. “What’s with the cheap stuff? Don't you guys have like, a cool syyborg table you could strap me into and let technology do its thing?” 

“Our organization wasn't exactly a priority with zarkon in rule. We didn't get the tech that other ships have. But now, we are ready to fight in the name of zarkon, and bring our organization to the highest honour!” 

“Wow,” lance mumbled. “You guys have weird priorities.”

“Here’s how this goes,” she began with her eyes slightly squinted, intensity hidden behind the heavy lids. “You answer my questions, and we let you go, unharmed.”

“Both me and you know that’s not true. I'm not getting out of here and i know that, you can't scare me,” Lance replied, there was some truth to that statement, but the natural fear of pain all humans had was still prominent in his head. He matched the woman and slightly squinted his eyes. He felt confident, but that dwindled when the woman took out a metal sheet from under the table. It was complete with tweezers, needles, and some galra tech that wasn’t recognizable but still looked threatening. “Wow, i didn’t peg you for being the kinky type.”

“Where is the castle of lions? Where are the other paladins?”

“Last i heard they were partying SUPER hard somewhere in vegas,” Lance replied in typical Smartass fashion. He was scared, and the newly revealed tools increased the fear. His heart was beating fast and hard, he used all his might to keep a smirk plastered on his face. But he already promised himself that he wasn’t going to break. If he told them the information they needed, lance staying behind and sacrificing himself for his friends, it wouldn’t matter. Their deaths would be on him, and he couldn’t let that happen.

He thought of Keith, and the light that came off him. He thought of the time their hands touched and how the world disappeared around them. The definition of 'heartache’ is what Lance feels when he remembers he'll never feel that touch again. 

She asked again, this time picking up a long knife off the tray. “Where is voltron?”

“Dude, i don’t even know what voltron is. Is that like, a breed of dog?” 

“This is your last chance to answer,” She said, twirling the knife. 

“Bring it on, you furry fuck.” 

____________________________________

The voltron team was surrounding a cryopod, waiting anxiously for the potential lead on their friend. 

“So, pidge,” shiro began. “When lance said ‘get back to the castle’, your first thought was ‘okay, but i'm gonna kidnap this queen, first’?”

“Well… no… actually, yeah,” she said, looking at Ignis, the queen of the last planet they were on, in the pod. “You have to admit, it was a good move.”

Keith watched as glowing streams and dots entered the computer next to the pod, collecting all the data in her mind for them to use. This is one of the only sources of information they had on lances whereabouts; if it was a dead end, they would be completely lost. 

“How much longer?” Keith asked, his stomach lurching with nerves. His hair was still glistened with sweat and his eyes were dark with bags of tiredness and mourn.

It's only been a few hours since the team had talked in the lounge, and the conversation drained all the life from Keith. The guilt was still piled on his shoulders, and it wouldn't be lifted for awhile, even if they did find Lance. 

“Only a few more doboshes or so,” Coran answered. Soon enough, everyone huddled around pidge at her computer, translators working at rapid speeds, turning pure code into readable material. They were all anxious. They looked for something, anything that could assist them in the slightest. 

The computer mad a don't noise and the code stoped moving on the computer. “Here is the information on her alliance with the galra,” pidge began. “It says that at first the galra threatened to destroy their planet, but ignus struck up a deal with them, specifically with one galra society called The Vindicta. Those are the people who attacked us on the planet.”

“Does it say why they tricked us into going there?” Keith asked, leaning in to try and read the computer screen. “Or what their next move is?”

There was more rapid typing on the keyboard as Pidge hammered away, looking for a motive or the plan of their next attack, but it’s buried deep inside ignus’ mind. Pidge wondered if it was there at all. There was a possibility that the galra were just using the Concurtus and didn’t tell them what the plan was. The paladins hoped that wasn’t the case; the galras next move could be the key information that tells them where lance is or if he’s alive. 

“It-it’s jumbled,” pidge said, adjusting her glasses and furrowing her eyebrows slightly as if that would make her see the information clearer. “I think she knows some of the plan, but not all of it.”

“We can take any information we can get,” Shiro said in a stern voice, almost telling pidge ‘tell us what it says.’

Keiths heart continued to race, this was the most nervous he had felt all his life. It wasn’t even pure nervousness, more like every emotion he could muster that was riding on the feeling of nervousness. Fear, dread, guilt, it all contributed to the queasy, gut wrenching feeling he felt and had been feeling this entire conversation. 

He thought about how different the week and a half had been between lance and him. Keith always seemed to be there when lance needed someone. When he fell down the stairs, when he couldn’t get up off the floor, when he had that stroke. Keith always was there, but literally. It wasn’t in an oh-i’ll-always-be-here-if-you-need-me kind of me, but keith was always physically there when lance needed someone. He wondered why it was him. It could have easily been hunk, and pidge, or even allura that found lance on the bed room floor, but it wasn’t. Keith was there, almost as if it was fate, some higher force bringing them together. 

Whatever force it was, they didn’t know what they started. It was clearer to keith how he felt about lance, the feeling he tried to internalize and ignore. But after this week and a half of being there for lance, that feeling was screaming. Clawing at the idea of never being vocalized to lance. That’s why keith was so anxious at this moment. That's why he needed lance to be alive. It all rode on the information pidge was about to give them.

“The first prominent word, or idea, in her mind is ‘bait’,” Pidge explained. 

“That would be me, right?” shiro said. “In the video, Lance said ‘I found shiro. He was the bait and i fell for it’.”

“That’s what i thought, but the way she thinks it is more future tense. If she was talking, or well, thinking, of you she would have been much more past or present oriented. So, i don’t know.”

“What else does it say?” Hunk asked, breaking his previous silence. 

Clacking of the keyboard rang through the room as pidge explored the computer more. As fast as she had started, her fingers turned stagnant as she found something. “‘Revenge’, is all it says.”

“Well, that’s ominous,” Keith said, repeating after hunk and speaking after many minutes of silence. “It probably is just talking about how the galra wanted payback for us killing zarkon. Maybe that's all the motive they had for attacking us.”

“This isn’t getting us anywhere,” hunk complained loudly. “Is there an-”

“The files!” keith shouted out, remembering something.

“What?”

“After lance told us to get back to the castle, i grabbed a bunch of files from the room i was in. They’re in my lion, they might have useful information on them!”

Shiro was quick to give directions. “Go get them! Coran, allura, help keith look through the files. Pidge, hunk and i will keep looking through the memories!”

Soon there were files scattered all across the floor, the two alteans and keith on their knees, reading through the pages quickly. From their time working with zarkon in his paladin days, they knew some of the galra language. Keith could manage to read a few sentences weirdly, probably from his galra dna. It gave him a headache, but he powered through and looked for any mention of lance or voltron. 

Most of the files were just about things thatv’e already happened, like the galras old plans to take down Voltron. It wasn't helpful, but showed that they were looking in the right place. The file had been titled “earth,” and it held the galras plans ever since they sensed the blue lion on the place. 

A few words on one of the files made keith's heart jump a bit. On the top of one of the newer looking papers, it said “red paladin”. Keith tried to read the information that followed it, but he could only get bits and pieces, and knowing that allura and coran could speak about as much galra as he could, those fragments would have to do. 

The first few words he could get were “-- be -- leader-- absence.” he figured they were talking about shiro's choice as keith for the new black paladin. How did they know keith had chosen him? Their knowledge on that scared keith, as shiro had only mentioned the job offer in two circumstances, both of them were private. But they didn’t know that lance was the one filling in for shiro. Then it clicked, the galra had read shiro's mind, just like they were doing to ignis. The thought gave keith shivers. 

He continued to read what he could. “Isolate him -- leave--” was what he got from the next line. It just didn’t make sense. He continued to read. “Force -- chose-- destroy-- shiro or castle. -- revenge that is fitful.” That made about as much sense as the previous line, but sadly that was the last line on the page. Keith tried rearranging the words in every way imaginable. He tried putting them together and thinking about them abstractly, but it all made his head hurt more. 

There was no making sense of the page, but what made rage and frustration bubble into his mind was the fact that there was one piece missing. Keith knew that if he had a bit more information, it would all make sense. All the guilt and anger he had felt since lances disappearance had resurfaced.. He felt inadequate for not figuring out this puzzle. The failure he felt he was causing the team stabbed his mind with sharp daggers. 

“I think we got something!” Pidge said over to the three on the floor, answering Keith's silent prayer for new information. “It’s still in small bits and pieces but maybe one of you can make sense of it. The first thing here says ‘as his friends leave.’ That's all it says. The translation must have cut off the first part of the sentence.”

As pidge read her findings aloud, keith read what he could on the galra file again, trying to put her and his information together. Pidges discoveries could be the last piece he needed for it all to make sense.

“The next part,” Pidge said, continuing on, ”is ‘One will be destroyed at his hands.’”

So far, keith and the rest of the castle weren't looking too pleased with these sentences. They were eerie and not very informative. The only explanation or plan they showed was one definitely full of malice and anger. 

“Lastly, it says in a complete sentence, “Revenge that is fitful.” 

No one in the room said anything, again too confused and worried to speak. Keith read through the galra page again. The last line, ‘revenge that is fitful,” must have come straight from the galra files, meaning that the lines before it must go with the lines pidge spoke. With his brain working in hyperdrive, trying to put two and two together, the others still didn’t speak. In their own minds they must’ve been trying to figure it out as well, but this riddle was as frustrating as it was disheartening.

With his thoughts jumbled but knowing he was so close to the answer, keith sprinted to his room and grabbed a pen and a piece of paper that had been in his jacket before he left earth. He sprinted back to the room the others were in and sat down, getting to work. The other paladins and the two alteans looked at keith in confusion, not knowing what he was doing. 

First, keith wrote down all the sentences of the galra file, or the words he could read, at least. As he wrote it down, he skipped lines. “Pidge,” he said. “Read back all the thinks you found in her memories.” As she read them, keith found that some of the words corresponded with the galra ones. He filled in the lines in between the ones he wrote with the ones pidge spoke. With his pen moving rapidly and his mind working hard, he finished comparing the information.

Keith sat back and looked at the paper with rushed handwriting and crinkled corners. He read through the seven lines he had written down until it started to make sense. Piece by piece it all came together, and when he read it one last time, it made perfect sense, though he wished it didn’t. What he read truly showed the ruthlessness of the galra. It showed the extent they would go to. It showed how all of this was keith's fault. 

“This is all because of me,” keith stood up and said loudly, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. “All of this, lance getting left behind, it was supposed to happen to me, because they thought i was the new leader of voltron.”

“What do you mean?” shiro said quickly, trying to debunk keith's claim. “Where would you get that idea?”

After a brief and shaky explanation of the combination of the memories and the galra papers, keith continued on, telling them the whole story. “They were going to isolate the leader of voltron, which was supposed to be me, but after lance introduced himself to ignis as the leader, they changed their plans to focus on lance, not me.” 

Keith took a deep breath in. he secretly hoped that as he explained it out loud, it would make less sense and keith would realise that his theory was incorrect, but as he spoke, the information lined up perfectly. “They got lance alone by luring him to the control room with guards blocking the other ways to go. They were… they were going to make him choose. Kill shiro, or blow up the castle with us inside. They wanted it to be fit, emotional revenge.” 

At this point, Keith's voice was shaking so hard he didn’t know he could continue talking. The other paladins looked at him in awe, reacting to the torturous plan. Keith ignored the others, though. He wasn’t focusing on them. As he spoke, laying out the plan vocally, it set deeper into his mind how this was his fault. It could be keith in that galra ship. That’s what he was focusing on. 

Pidge spoke up after a long silence from keith. “Then why didn’t their plan work out?”

Keith opened his mouth to try and talk some more, but someone answered for him. 

“They didn’t think lance was going to fight so hard, they didn’t catch him, like they thought they would,” hunk said. “Lance realized there was a particle barrier up and we couldn’t get through, and he had sent us shiro. He broke the particle barrier and when we left they didn’t have their leverage anymore.”

“So they didn’t get to go through with their emotional torture extravaganza. So what? How does this information help us find lance?” Pidge asked, angry at the fact that there were still no leads.

Shiro spoke. “It does help us understand one thing. They didn’t get to go through with their torture, so they'll just find other ways to torment him. We need to find Lance, quick.”

\-------------------

His eyes swam with haze and light. It felt like this had been going on for days, but it had only been an hour at most. The fuzziness of lance's head was snapped away with another drag of a sharp blade across his collarbone. Warm blood contrasted cold skin as it pooled, and then drizzled down his chest. Lance let out nothing but a sharp exhale, refusing to let the galra get the best of him. 

“How did you defeat zarkon?” The galra woman, whose name lance learned earlier (Cultra), asked for the second time. Each time she repeated a question, she would make the cut deeper until lance couldn’t stand it anymore. He managed to lie believably to stop the gaining deepness, but then she would reset and start on a new question.

“Uhh,” lance said. “Hard work and perseverance?” Culturas eyes narrowed and she put the bloodied knife back on the table they sat around. Lance gave a slight exhale of relief, thinking she accepted the answer until she punched him square in the jaw without missing a beat. “Oh so we’re changing it up now? Exiting!” Lance said through the pain. 

“How. did. You defeat him?” She asked again, raising her fist to place another blow.

“The uh, blade of marmora! They gave us some weird galra tech that helped us kill him!” Lance spat out in a lie. 

Cultras eyes narrowed again. “What was it called?” 

“I don’t know,” Lance blurted out fiercely. His eyes were filled with fear but his voice remained sturdy. “The name was long and galra, i didn’t memorize it.” Pain erupted in his face again as a fist hit him hard on his cheek. “What was that for?! I gave you an answer!”

“Yeah,” she said with a small smile on her lips. “But you just looked very punchable.”

With all the power he could muster, lance snapped his head forward and spat blood onto his captor. It landed on her shoulder and splattered small dots of red on her face, but she seemed unphased, if anything her smile grew wider, as if getting spat at was part of her plan. “I think we should get to the interesting questions now, shall we?”

“Definitely,” lance said, keeping his snark and sarcasm, even when every part of his body ached. “I’ll start. Would you rather fight a shark- bear cyborg, or a lion-eagle cyborg?”

Behind his back, lance was slowly cutting away at the red rope that bound his hands. There was a sharp, small dagger implanted in the paladin under-armor suit, and lance was eternally thankful for the person who designed these things. 

“I have a better question. When your friends fall into our trap and come to get you, which way would you prefer we kill them?” 

His eyes widened slightly at the mention of his friends. he couldn’t believe how oblivious he was. Of course they would use lance as bait, he should have realized that. If he had thought this through, he would have made sure they didn't get him alive. But then, all the worry and guilt went away when he remembered one fact.   
“They’re not coming for me,” lance said, a smirk on his sore face. “When i sent shiro to them, i sent him with a message from me. I told them i was gonna die, they think i'm long dead.” 

The confidence on Culturas wispy face dwindled, and lance knew he got her stumbled. Just then, with the tightness around his wrist snapping away, lance's hands were free as the dagger cut the last string. He wasn’t ready to make a move yet, it wasn’t the time. In Fact, he didn’t know if he could make a move at all. His body was covered in bruises and deep cuts, plus the bullet wounds and the pre existing condition of his ribs; he wasn’t even sure if he would be able to walk far. Forget about overpowering Cultra.

While lance mulled over the idea of escaping, Cultra came up with an idea of her own. A slow smirk creeped its way onto her face. It was petrifying, her eyes were like dancing flames, ready to destroy with no one daring to stop her.

“It’s simple,” she said, snapping lance out of his own thoughts. “We just make sure they know you’re alive.” Turning away from the slightly confused lance, Cultra began talking to the galra guard standing outside the room. “Ready a camera connection to the castle of lions,” she told the soldier. 

His hands free and his brain rapidly trying to work out what to do next, lance felt lost and pained. He wanted to be on the castle of lions. He wanted to be eating hunks food. He wanted to be next to keith, smelling the deep and forest like scent he naturally had. He wanted to be close to him, so close it should be awkward, yet they both are comfortable. Then they’re together, moving as one, the only thing distinguishing their bodies is the difference in skin tone. Lance turned off his brain at that moment, letting the fantasy that would never happen play in his mind. He wanted the heavy blankets of the star room to cover them, the rest of the world oblivious to them, their hot chocolate abandoned on the ground. They were too busy getting drunk off of eachother. That’s what lance wants, but it’s what he knows he could never have. 

The door of the room closed with a snap after Cultra reentered it. She looked at the cloudy minded lance with a wicked smile, before toying with the cuffling of her armor. A small beam of light extended out of it, then it turned into a rectangle like shape. It was a screen, and appearing on it was the lounge in the castle of lions. 

Lance's friends were all there, looking tired but determined. There were papers littering the ground, coran and allura sitting next to them. Keith was standing up, a pen and paper in his hand. Shiro just finished saying something. For a second, lance thought it was just a picture of them, until cultra started taking to it. It was a face time. 

Cultra smiled at the screen with squinted eyes. “Castle of lions,” she began. “I think you might be interested in the information i'm about to tell you. The blue paladin is alive in my ship, here are our coordinates.”

“No!” With a gasp, lance realized what she was doing, she was going to lure them there using him. He had a millisecond to decide what to do. Lance didn’t leave himself on this ship just for his friends to die because of him. He wouldn’t let them come back into danger on the off chance that lance could be saved.

He didn’t care that he technically wasn’t the leader of voltron anymore, he still had to protect his team. Lance stayed behind on a mission, he was prepared to die. He’d make that choice again. His team, his friends, they’re just kids who need to live. A voice spoke up in lance's mind. But you’re just a kid as well, it told him. He ignored it. 

With his free hands, lance made a quick grab for the dagger cultra had placed back on the table. He thought of the jokes pidge and hunk shared back at the garrison. He thought about the adventures he got to experience with the team. He thought about the care keith put into him while lance was hurt, and the new light he saw inside of keith. They were just kids. They were all just kids. 

Lance plunged the knife into his stomach with a sharp and loud gasp. His team wouldn’t come to get him if he was dead. Cultra would have no leverage. He made his choice when he stayed on this ship, and he was just following through with it. 

Keiths smirk flashed into his mind. He remembered the warmth of the blankets on top of the two of them that cold night in the castle of lions. Blood trickled out of his mouth and down the bruised face of lance. dizziness flooded his brain. With a loud thump he fell out of the chair he sat unsturdy on.

“Lance? What’s happening? Where are you!?” he heard his team say after hearing him yell and fall. 

The surprised look cultra held on her face when she first saw the knife in his stomach had turned back into the confident smile she had on before. She kneeled down so her face was closer to lance on the floor. “All you’ve done is made them get here quicker.” 

“No,” Lance said weakly, his vision clouding with black. 

Cultra turned the camera so the paladins could see lance. He was covered in more blood than you could imagine. Bruises shone prominently on his face, cuts of various deepness covered his body, and the knife still lodged in his stomach plus the rapidly growing pool of blood on the floor didn’t make him look too good. “Lance!” A voice from the video said, it was keiths. Lance thought of how his voice cracked, how tormented it sounded. 

“Get here fast, paladins,” Cultra said from behind the camera, “Or i don’t think your boy will make it.” 

“No… don’t-ah don’t come,” he mumbled, more blood dripping down his face. “Don’t come here. I’ssa trap. Don’t.” His voice grew quieter as black almost overtook his eyes. “Don’t…” 

As his head relaxed against the floor, lance looked at the screen that cultra moved to be next to him. The last thing he saw was the face of keith, and the tear rolling down it. 

Tears rolled down Lances face to match Keith's. He tried his best to smile at him. Lance opened his mouth to tell keith what he was too scared to say in the video, but that's when the black edges around his eyes turned to light. The light filled his eyes and his body was unmoving on the ground. 

Lance made his decision when he stayed on the ship. Now he’s following through with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;;)) stay tuned to find out what happens next ;;). 
> 
> Please please please pleeaaasssee leave any comments you may have on my writing or the story and please show ur love by giving kudos and staying tuned for the next chapter. Feedback is what keeps me writing. 
> 
> I'm gonna try and fit in two more chapters before season 3 comes out (August 4th), so I better get writing fast. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!! I'm eternally grateful for y'all's support 
> 
> Tumblr: lanceisthebest


	4. Holding On So Tight, As If His Hand Was His Life Source

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The race to find lance took a sickening turn when the team gets a glimpse of how he's been treated on the galra ship. They have to focus on a plan to get him out of there, while lance has to focus on staying alive. 
> 
> Keith takes on a dangerous role in the plan, all while battling eternal feelings of guilt and loss of optimism. He finds lance, but Keith will have to make a spur of the moment, life or death choice in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ironically, this is the longest chapter i've ever wrote, despite it being written in only a fragment of the time of the other chapters. it doesn't mean its any sloppier, though! This was super fun to write as there's so much plot and action in it.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! :) 
> 
> (ps. this picks up from the end of last chapter. It's the paladins p.o.v of the video Cultra sent to them)

“We need to find Lance, quick.” The strong voice of shiro boomed through the room, filling the castle of lions with a strange mix of fright and determination. Keith just shared his findings with the team, the original plan the galra had for the ice castle battle, as they were now calling it. The team were all scared, knowing that the galra wanted to kill but only after causing Lance a decent amount of pain. 

With an optimistic mind, Keith tried convincing himself that Lance was fine and they would get to him before the galra did anything too bad. This optimism was ripped out from his core by what happened next. 

A screen cracked into the air, a connection with another ship. The team turned their heads at the sudden occurrence. There was a scary looking galra upon the screen. Eyes yellow and both mesmerizing and frightening, skin purple. Long purple hair was slicked back her head, large ears peaking up from it. She wore the same uniform some had bore at the ice castle battle, only she had on a startling red cape, most likely to show her authority

The last word of shiro's eye opening speech left his mouth before the galra women on the screen began to speak. “Castle of lions,” she began. The woman was smiling deviously, striking unexplainable fear into Keith's heart. “I think you might be interested in the information i'm about to tell you. The blue paladin is alive in my ship, here are our coordinates.”

Head turns, each member of the castle of lions sharing both looks of worry and surprise. They ignored the ding noise alerting them of the coordinates sent. Before any of them could begin to react more, the familiar noise of their missing paladin screamed through the screen and hauntingly into the castle of lions. “No!” Lance said from behind the camera. 

Pidge and hunk looked at each other again. Keith's breath hitched and his eyes moved wildly. Shiro opened his mouth to no doubt negotiate with the captor of Lance, but before he could speak an even more frightening noise than Lance's yell filled the room. 

Clear as day, the distinguishable noise of an impaling knife sounded, accompanied by a piercing and no doubt pained gasp. The ferociously grinning face of the galra woman crumbled slightly as she looked past the camera at Lance. 

Another loud noise rang through the galra room and back to the castle, it sounded like someone fell out of a chair, identifiable through the sound of a mix of metal and flesh hitting the floor loudly. 

At this point, everyone in the castle was scared beyond words. Not knowing what was going on behind the camera gave them a feeling of being trapped, being so close but so far. They were helpless and worried for their friends. Their brains tried to comprehend what they’de heard  
And tried piecing it together  
“Lance? What's going on? Where are you?” The paladins and their altean hosts yelled in various shouts of worry. The emotions they felt were indescribable. You could only understand their pain if you were in the same situation. 

The only one who remained quiet was Keith, who stood stagnant. His eyes were wide, his jaw clenched. His optimism was taken out of him like someone plummeted their hand inside his chest. His mind and heart were working against him. His heart told him to stay positive, and that they’ll rescue lance. His mind, stubborn and cold, told him to listen to logic and accept that he’ll never see lance again. 

Keith gave up right then and there. Clouds overtook his mind and he felt like he was about to pass out. Not a dizzy, faint feeling, but something overtook his body and made him think 'nothing matters, I'll just see stop living.’ he wanted to stop doing everything. Standing, living, thinking. That's when he went off the cliff. That's the moment he gave up. 

The woman on the screen disappeared as she leaned down to talk to Lance behind the camera. “All you've done is made them get here faster,” they heard her say to him. 

A hand turned the camera that seemed to slightly rise above the woman's arm cuffling. They no longer had to guess at what happened. What they saw made it very clear. If the atmosphere wasn't haunting enough, the site of their friend made the castle of lions seem cold and dark. The room turned isolating and suffocating in only one second. 

Their friend, their teammate, their paladin, Lance, was on the floor and soaked in blood. Keiths already wide eyes scanned down their friends body quickly, trying to digest everything. Lance's’ eyes were back to the stormy and dark blue they had been in his hologram video to the castle. Keith would give anything to see them back to their startling, electric state. 

Lance's face was bruised in many places; purple, brown and green colored Lance's jaw, cheek and lips. A stream of blood ran past his chin, staring from his mouth. The bruises were accompanied by cuts of various depths that were littered from his face, to his chest. He was in his paladin under-armor suit, which was ripped open at the neck to his abdomen, to gain access for the knife to run over. 

The next, and worse thing that Keith saw was the unmistakable handle of a knife sticking out of the blue paladins stomach. Before he even registered the puddle of blood Lance laid in on the floor, a yell was ripped through Keith's throat. “Lance!” He practically screamed against the previous silence. His voice cracked, broken and defeated. 

“Get here fast, paladins,” the woman said from behind the camera, “or I don't think your boy will make it.” 

“No… don’t-ah don’t come,” Lance said. He was so tired and pained that the voice sounded nothing like his own. His mouth barely opened to say it, and the sound that came out were in almost non understandable mumbles. Lance spat out more blood and continued talking, this time more clearly. “Don’t come here. I’ssa trap. Don’t. Don’t…”

Keith watched as Lance's energy ran out and his head relaxed against the floor with the rest of his body. Keith's seen Lance hurt on the ground more times than he could count, but this was his fault. The blood, the cuts, that would've been Keith it he hadn't selfishly made Lance leader. A tear ran down his face, which he wasn't aware of. Even if he was, he wouldn’t care about the wetness on his face. That was the least of his worries. 

Lance's head turned toward the screen as if to get one more good look at his team. But keith was sure that Lance was making eye contact with him specifically, as tears cascaded down his bruised and bloodied face. 

Strangely, out of all the things he could do, Lance smiled at Keith. His eyes cleared and the electric blue was back, and Keith savoured every second of it. Lances jaw moved as he opened his mouth, no doubt to tell keith something, but that's when his eyes fluttered close, he exhaled, and his body totally relaxed against the floor. 

Snapping out of his petrified state, Keith brandished his knife from his belt in one swift movement. He pointed it toward the screen threateningly, not seeming to care that it's just a hologram. “I swear to God, if anything happens to him I'll single handedly cut each organ out of your body!” he shouted with more streams of tears running down his face. 

His features we're blurred in crippling anger and sadness, his tears bouncing off his face as he shouted the last word of his threat. Keith's mind was at war between agonizing loss of Hope and anger driven determination. 

The galra woman turned the camera to face her instead of Lance, to talk to the paladins. Keith's threat didn't seem to phase her in the slightest. 

“Well, there isn't much more I could do to him, is there?” She said. “I promise to keep your boy alive, just barely, if you'll get here before two quintants are up, and you board our ship unarmed. If you break any of these conditions or try to weasel your way out, I won't hesitate to cut the paladins throat and finish the job.” 

Surprisingly, allura was the next to talk, the other paladins still in a daze. “How do we know you'll keep him alive?” 

The galra woman bent down and put her fingers against Lance's cold neck. He didn't stir or show any signs of life at all. “Are you going to keep asking questions, or are you going to agree to my terms? The longer this takes the slower he's going to get medical attention. He's alive, but just barely.” 

“Fine!” Shiro shouted, remembering that he was the leader and didn't have time to mourn. “We agree. We'll be there, just keep him alive.” 

With that, a team of galra assistants burst into the room and picked Lance up off the floor, carrying him away. “Just remember,” the woman said, “we'll know if you're up to something. You saw what i did to him, don't doubt me.” And finally, she clicked off, the screen disappeared, and the paladins were greeted with a dormant room. 

An hour or so later, Keith was in the kitchen. He hadn't eaten in a full day, and he didn't realize until this moment. The ship was set on the galras coordinates, and allura said they would be there in another day. Shiro wanted to have a strategy meeting right after the facetime ended, but they were all too wiped out, emotionally and physically. 

With unstable hands, Keith ignored the food in the room and went to boil milk to make hot chocolate. He needed the warmth, he needed the comfort. He needed the memories of a cold castle night, blankets piled high and Lance keeping him company. He wanted, more like needed, more nights and memories like that. The feeling of friends and family was embodied in that single night, along with another emotion Keith was trying to push out of his mind. 

The hologram Lance had sent replayed in Keith's mind. “Pour out a hot chocolate for me,” Lance had said with a pained grin and electric eyes. But Lance isn't dead, he's hanging on by a thread and the odds don't look good, but at least they know he's alive. 

Walking over to the couch he and Lance had sat on, Keith's mind still wandered, thinking of things he would rather put out of his mind. But it was impossible to ignore these things, as it's what defined Keith's life at the moment. 

The sound of the knife plunging into Lance's stomach was so memorable in his head. The sound of him gasping out, the sound of him falling out of the chair. Keith was in awe that Lance had the nerve to go through with stabbing himself, just on the off chance he could save his team. Lance was too good of a guy to get any of this. Keith was at a loss for why the fates damned him with these pains, these torments. 

The only think Keith was certain with, is that he will make this right. He didn't care what the chances were, he didn't care that they were walking into a trap. The guilt that's built up like the weight of the sky was crushing down on Keith, and he needed it gone. The saving of Lance wouldn't erase that, especially after seeing all the damage that's been done, but it could relive some of the worry and desperation that's made the guilt worse. 

Things like hunger and fatigue hadn't crossed Keith's mind in the slightest since Lance has been gone. It's been an endless path of emotional damage, the least he could worry about is simple bodily needs. But after setting down his empty hot chocolate cup, Keith sunk down closer into the familiar and safe heap of blankets and remembered Lance. 

He remembered how much their relationship had changed, and how he had seen Lance at some of his worsts, like the time he cried on Keith's shoulder after falling down the stairs. He remembered carrying Lance down the hall in desperation, scared over the fate of his new friend. But keith remembered the light of their time together, too. He looked back at their feet touching on this couch, how they slept so soundly on it together. He remembered how light the atmosphere was, just like the light Lance made appear in Keith's mind. He remembered how their hands had touch and everything was okay in the world. He thought about how he ached for that touch again. 

Pulling the blankets tight to his face, Keith settled down and closed his eyes, unrealized fatigue washing over him. Thinking that he would sleep badly, Keith would be shocked the next morning at how dreamless and warm his rest was. 

 

Only minutes after keith dozed off, pidge walked into the star room, seeing Keith's black hair covering his face as he snoozed away, almost completely covered in blankets. Only then did she realize how tired she was, with ignored bags under her eyes. 

She wanted to sleep, but the last thing she wanted was to be alone right now. Thinking ‘what the hell?’, pidge sat down on the opposite side of the couch, grabbed a blanket, and pulled it up to her face. She didn't go to sleep right away like Keith did, but when she did, she sleep comfortably and through the whole night. 

However, she was awake long enough to see hunk sit down beside them and do the same thing, pull the blanket all the way up and fall into a deep sleep. When all three of them had their eyes closed and were in a comfortable slumber, shiro entered the room. He looked at them with a warm and slightly sad smile on his face. He thought about how the whole situation with lance was too much or them. They were just kids, after all. Shiro picked up the blanket that had fallen of pidge and he recovered her in it. There was no more room on the couch, so shiro sat on the armchair near by. He had no intent of sleeping, but soon enough his eyes closed and his head rest against the armrest, drowsiness washing over him. 

Together, the four of them slept in the dark, no bad dreams, nothing plaguing their mind, blankets pulled so close you'd think it was their last safe haven. They all went there for the same reason, they didn't want to be alone at this time.The light of the passing stars illuminated the room slightly, creating an atmosphere of comfort and safety. 

Each of them didn't dream, except for Keith. Visions of dancing lights and electric blue in Lance's eyes filled his mind for his entire slumber. He had a dream of having Lance back with them, the two of them together on this couch, blankets pulled over the two of their heads, the world unaware of them. The only thing that mattered was them, that they were there with each other. Their bodies were one, almost indistinguishable so. 

When Keith awoke, although he was filled with heartache at the idea of something that wouldn't happen even if they did get Lance back, he was still slightly smiling at the thought of such a thing happening. It was a good dream. 

He visualized those eyes of Lance so clearly, he got lost in them. Keith remembered how clouded over they looked in the hologram and the face time, like a deathly storm was captured, overlapping the blue. But he recalled that in those two videos, for a few seconds or minutes the startling blue had returned to them, and he looked like his old self. Thinking back on it, when Lance talked about or looked at keith, it was like the dark storm was sucked cleanly out of his eyes, returning them to their expressive state. 

Keith knew he was being delusional, and he convinced himself that he was looking at the entire team, not just him. Keith thought that him alone wasn't capable of taking all the pain and anger out of Lance in those troubling moments. Maybe Keith didn't want to be let down, and was preparing for the mourn or rejection he knew would come. But still, aside from the doubt and denial, a small part in Keith thought 'what if?’ 

What if Lance does like him back? What if they rescue Lance from that galra ship? What if he fully heals and is safe and isolated from all the hurt he's experienced these past weeks? What if Keith confesses and Lance reciprocates? What if? 

The reason Keith was trying to hide and ignore these “what if's”, these fantasies, is because it would hurt so much more if they lost Lance. He tried thinking optimistically, but seeing someone you love tortured and stabbed, bleeding on the floor, it's hard to keep yourself in a positive thought process. If they did lose Lance, those “what if”s would be so much worse, because Keith would know that those questions would never be answered. 

Keith woke later in the night, a small smile on his face at the sight of his teammates huddled close, all of them sleeping soundly. He would have taken a moment to appreciate his team and how hard they work, but after glancing at the altean clock on the wall, he saw that they would be at the galra ship in a matter of of hours. 

Wiping the sleep off his own eyes and clearing his throat, Keith woke the team up, starting with shiro. It's time they made a plan.   
_________________

He knew he was dead this time, because he was having a pleasant experience. When he had been shot, the galra kept him in a horrible trance like sleep. He didn't dream, he was awake the entire time but it was nothing but dark. 

But now, Lance was dreaming. He had a colorful dream with visions of happiness and comfort. He saw his family, they opened their arms and Lance ran to them. In his last dream, Lance remembered how he had hurt his mother with each step he took, creating a vision of guilt and isolation. But now, he actually reached his mom, his whole family in fact. He was wrapped in their warmth, he cried onto their shoulders. It was so comforting after ages of longing. It was the best dream he's ever had. But it didn't stop there. 

He saw his team on the ship. Hunk, pidge and him sat together on the hard metal floor of their new home. They played the video game pidge and he had gotten, and enjoyed it on the altean tv hunk seemed to magically rig up. Even being far from home and often feeling trapped in a responsibility he didn't want, this ship was his new home that he was establishing that with a new group of people he called family. It's a simple memory, but replayed over and over in Lance's dream, he recalled how much he appreciated it. It was a true vision of these stronger friendships and new homes.

The dream progressed more and lance saw a vision of the long black hair he's come to love, the purple eyes that were a wonder of their own. He saw keith, smiling back at lance as he took his hand and lead him somewhere great. Although lance couldn’t see exactly where they were going, the atmosphere, the company, the warmth in lance's stomach, he knew that wherever they were, it would be amazing. It was as if the sun lit up every corner of lances sight, as it was so bright out, it was warm, it was safe. It was everything lance wanted at that moment. He could feel keiths hand in his, short fingers intertwined in long ones. They fit together so well, it was like they were built to find each other. This wasn’t a real memory, but it felt like it was.

Lance caught himself thinking “is this heaven?” because what else could it be? The universe had dealt him a bad hand these past few weeks, and this tiny bit of relief, as much as a good dream, had lance convinced he was in paradise. He wanted to wrap himself up in the warmness of these visions, he felt as though he was physically there and experiencing them, not just mentally. For once, he wasn't focused on the bad side of it all, he didn’t care that keith's loving gaze was nothing but a vision created by his mind, because at that time, after the world had punished this undeserving boy for no reason at all, he’d take any sweetness that he could get. 

But that’s when things started to go dark, like they usually do. The vision of keith became blurred and distorted, like a broken television. He couldn't feel keiths hand in his, now it was more like an ever so fading memory. He couldn’t picture his family gathering him up in his arms anymore, he couldn’t remember what video game he and pidge played, or what food hunk snacked on as he watched fondly. Everything was a memory and it was all slipping away. Lance was losing himself, he was fading. 

The only thing he seemed to remember was the pain. The pain he felt even now, like a silent alarm. The pain of those cuts, the pain of falling down those stairs and off his bed. The pain of not feeling adequate, or feeling like a burden. It all surged back, flooding lance's mind and finishing up the universe's job of making him as unhappy and suffering as it can. After a while, even the memories of those pains began to fade. He couldn’t remember. He didn't remember the name of the castle they had been staying at in space. He couldn't remember the names of his professors from the garrison. Lance was scared he wouldn't even remember himself. 

Despite these fades, there were a few things lance could remember. His teammate. Hunks cooking. Pidges snark. Shiros concern for him. Keiths… everything. He remembered his friends because how could he forget them? Even when his entire existence was fading away, he remembered their care, their hangouts, their jokes. Everything is fading…

Lance isn’t in the heaven he so wished to be in. He’s dying, slowly and aware. But right now, trapped in his own mind, having to see each memory taken from him by force, Lance wished nothing more than to get done with it all, and be in the heaven he dreamed of.   
__________________

Over the past week, the team gathered in the castle lounge for many different reasons, whether it be to make plans when they went to the distress beacon to look for shiro, or just hanging out together as a team, not wanting to be alone at times like these. But this gathering in the lounge, without lance, was by far the coldest and loneliest to keith. It felt like the air was sucked from the room. A piece of the atmosphere was missing. Their team was incomplete yet again. 

There was one thing holding the room together, it was the unspoken determination every member of the castle had in them to find lance. Instead of getting discouraged by the video of lance near death, they were even more convinced that they needed to save lance and they needed to do it now. The woman on the screen was right when she told lance “All you've done is made them get here faster.” 

Allura and coran stood a little behind the team, but were still engaged in the conversation and plans. Shiro stood up, demanding the attention of the room. Hunk and pidge sat next to each other on the metal couches, and keith sat on the arm of the couch opposite the Yellow and green paladins. 

“We’ll get to the ship in roughly two hours,” shiro said, his voice steady and firm. “We need a game plan.”

“Is there really much we can plan for?” keith said, butting in. “You heard her, she wanted us to come with no weapons and our arms out. She said she would kill lance if we try anything. Why don’t we just wing it and strike when we have an opportunity?” 

Shiro actually considered keith's idea for a second, but then went back into plan mode. “We will result to that if our plan doesn’t work out, but first we need a true game plan, we need to think this through.” for once, shiro actually had no idea of what to do. He didn’t have any ideas or plans, in fact, they seemed truly stuck. Shiro didn't want lances blood on his hands because of an incorrect game plan. Despite his worries, he continued to lead on and look for any plan they could use. 

“What about that ice queen i captured?” Pidge spoke up in an uncharacteristic small voice, referencing the queen of that lava-ice planet they battled at. In other circumstances, pidge would be gloating that she managed to kidnap a queen, but at this time she said it so matter-of-factly, no emotion to the statement. Watching lance so beat up in that video has shocked and changed them, even now. It was evident that the team was mourning, not for lance's life, but for his soul they were scared the galra crushed. “We could threaten to kill her and blackmail the galra.”

Hunk spoke up next, in the same shy voice pidge had used. “Well… we didn’t really find much in her head, so that means the galra probably weren't close to her, they were just using her.”

“Besides,” keith said, adding to hunks statement, “We don’t know how ruthless this group is. Even if they do care about that queen, they might just tell us to kill her if they don't want to risk the mission”

Shiro nodded his head in agreeance. “It’s a good idea, but i don't know if it will wok. We need to do this carefully and not have any loose ends.” 

The team sat in silence for minutes. It was unclear if they were all brainstorming ideas, or just thinking in general, about lance and the galra, about each other, and so on. Keith was doing both. He thought about past missions and how lance had contributed to the team. He found himself thinking about lance a lot, but the old lance, pre-shiro disappearance lance. Of course he was still the same guy, he just got… complicated. After shiro disappeared and there was more responsibility on lance, he had gotten so isolated. Thats where the problems began, their roots. The stress, the mourning, it was all being restricted behind lance's new mask, and he was bound to break. The person he broke in front of just happened to be keith. There were complications in a hidden boy. 

With new problems of battles and disappearances, keith found himself forgetting about those incidents that seemed so simple before, like discovering lance on the floor of his room, and again at the bottom of the stairs. He remembered how lances behavior was so different, and that's when keith finally started paying attention to lance. That's what made him realize how much he liked his personality, how he adored it. It took the faults in his previously strong facade to actually think about it and reassess his opinion on lance. And he discovered that he liked lance, a lot. 

Keith tried pushing the subject out of his mind, not able to process it at this time. Instead, he focused on the plan and any ideas he may have. For a few minutes that felt like hours, he racked his brain for any past mission plans or ideas in general that might help them out. In the mix of thinking about lance, keith had thought about the root of the problem, which was shiro's disappearance at the big galra war. He thought about that huge battle, and the plans they had made with the blade of marmora. Then, it occurred to him. 

“I got it!” keith shouted out, the whole plan not even formed in his head yet. All heads turned towards him, their faces etched in surprise and anticipation. “It will be dangerous, but it’ll work, i know it will.”

There he was again, an hour later. They would arrive at the galra ship in less than forty minutes. Keith stood in the ship hangar, his uniform on, his teammates there for him. 

“You know, you don’t need to do this,” Shiro said in a protective voice. “Sneaking onto this ship is a dangerous mission, you already had to do with the zarkon battle.”

Taking a deep breath, keith responded. “But i do need to do this. I’m the only one who can access their technology, and besides, i got lance into this mess. I need to be the one to get him out.” his heart was heavy and his body was filled with fear he must ignore. 

The team was gathered around, sending keith off. If everything went alright, this wasn’t goodbye, but it sure felt like it was. Keith went to shake hands with hunk, who instead opened his arms and hugged the breath out of him. From behind keith's shoulder, hunk told him “You need to stop blaming yourself for all of this.” although these few simple couldn't disintegrate the world of guilt upon keith's back, it did give him a surge of energy, something to keep fighting for. Keith gave his new friend a meaningful look of appreciation, hoping that conveyed his thanks and all his other emotions he was overwhelmed with at the moment. It did, hunk understood. 

He turned to pidge next, his arms crossed as were hers. They both understood each other, they didn’t need physical touching to relay their feelings. “You better get that scrawny boy home, so we can all kick his ass for giving us such a scare,” She told keith with a small smirk. Keith could see that she was worried and frightened that her friends wouldn’t come back. Keith made it his personal duty to see her worries gone, by bringing home the scrawny boy. 

“Catch you on the flip side,” Was all keith said to pidge. That’s all he needed to say. 

Then there was allura and coran walking up to him. “You showed me that past grudges shouldn’t get in the way of new family,” Allura told him in her altean draw. “I'm sorry for the way i treated you before, now you prove yet again that you are a true member of this team, whatever your dna may be.” 

“Thanks, princess,” was all keith said, giving her a warm smile. They had a small hug and she backed up, letting the next person say their piece. 

“In my years on this ship,” Coran said, next up, “I don’t think i’ve ever met a red paladin as worthy as you.” just that small sentence filled keith with much emotion and pride, it meant more to him than you could imagine. With kind eyes and a firm handshake to coran, shiro was last. 

Keith looked back into shiro's hard but emotional eyes. In a steady voice, keith told him “Lance will be alright, i’ll get him back.”

“Are you telling me, or trying to convince yourself?” Shiro asked wisley. 

“Does it matter?”

“I guess it doesn’t.” Shiro gave keith a long and engulfing hug, something he needed at that moment. “This isn’t goodbye.”

“I sure hope it isn’t.”

After what seeed like an eternity, the brotherly hug keith appreciated so much ended, and he was in the pod, all loaded up. Pidge was going through and explaining everything he needed to know. “Press here if you need a fuel boost. Don’t worry, I made it safer this time. My new cloaking device is here, press it and the pod will be hidden for up to seven minutes. All the explosives are in the bag over there, they’re operated by this remote. Stay at least 40 feet away from the explosions to avoid injury, and even at that distance, shrapnel and other things can hit you.”

“Sounds dangerous,” Keith said. 

“That's an understatement. If you're within 15 feet of the blast, boom, you’re dead right away,” Pidge said. She noticed shiro was giving her a stop-talking look, to which she replied “what? I’m just telling the truth!”

Addressing the whole team now, keith spoke. “I’ll do everything i can to get lance back home to you. We’re a family, we need to be together again. I'll fix my mistake.” with a good, long look at his team, keith finally put his helmet on and flew the ship away from the castle and into wide space.

“Let’s go over the plan again, just to make sure we’re all aware,” Shiro said over the helmet intercoms. 

“We’ve been over it like twelve times already!” Pidge chimed in in a complaint, to which shiro ignored. 

“Keiths gonna get to the ship before us all, he’ll come in with the cloak on the pod, undetected,” shiro began as keith listened from the pod. “He’ll plant the explosives around the ship to create a distraction. When they’re all not paying attention, whoevers closest to lance, wherever he may be, will grab him and leave immediately.”

“Here’s where it gets more complicated,” Shiro continued on. “A lot of this plan will be decided on the spot, unfortunately. We don't know where lance will be and what will happen when we get on the ship. That Galra woman may bring lance when she greets us, to make sure she can keep him used as leverage. She might keep him hidden away in another room. If the first possibility happens, all four of us paladins will fight the woman and the soldiers after the explosives go off, and the minute we get lance out of her reach we’ll leave. If the second possibility happens, keith will need to go to the security room to find where lance is, from all the security footage of the rooms.”

“Woah woah,” keith cut in, remembering something. “What if lance is in the left wing? There are no cameras there so i can't see the rooms.”

“At that point you’ll need to wing it. Threaten a soldier maybe, or just take guesses on what room he’ll be in. there’s no easy answer,” shiro told him. Keith wasn’t very happy with his options. “Either way, you’ll have to find him quick. It won't be long before the Galra woman realizes you’re missing. After that, we’ll fight her until the explosives go off. And be careful everyone, they might have backup plans. Keith, make sure you keep in contact with us and give us updates. Everyone clear?” there were comments of ‘yes, sir’ and ‘yep’ over the intercom. 

Swarms of emotion filled every inch of keiths body. He was determined to get lance back, and would stop at nothing. That’s what kept him going and energized. But things like fear of the mission going south and the shadowing guilt of the whole situation weighed him down. It's like someone poured water over his head and his clothes were saging to the ground, heavy and burdening. 

His mind had been such a mess since they lost lance, and maybe even before that. Keith felt that if they got lance back, alive and well, keith would be able to wipe his slate clean. There were many things keith regretted when he looked back. Things like isolating himself from the team, not being aware of all the things going on, and the more recent mistakes like making lance leader, which caused a whole chain reaction of regrets. Once he saw that lance was safe and back in their hands, keith wanted nothing more than to cleanse his mind of everything, get rid of all the flooding and unnecessary emotions. Of course, before he did that he would have to get lance back and help him heal, before he jumped the gun. He still had to deal with the fact that whatever state lance would be with after this would be his doing. Keith thinks he's ready to deal with that. 

Shocking keith out of his thoughts, a ship came into view. “Guys,” keith said to his team, “I have a visual on the ship. I’m going in.” 

“Remember to stay hidden,” shiro reminded him. “Keep a level head and think things through. Update us when you find new information. And keith… good luck.” 

“Good luck, keith!” Pidge and hunk chimed in after shiro. And with that, Keith activated the cloaking device and sped off to the large galra ship.

The good thing about the situation was that this ship wasn’t nearly as high security as zarkons. All keith had to do was drive over to the hangar door, steer himself in, and put his hand down on a sensor to confirm he was galra. There weren’t even any centuries guarding the area. He exited the hangar into the hallway, and he was in. 

“I’m in the ship now, i'm gonna set the explosives,” Keith told his team. “How far away are you guys?”

“We’ll be there in twenty minutes, tops,” pidge answered back. 

“Copy that.” He sped through the halls, hiding behind corners and door frames, being cautious of soldiers that weren’t there. “I think something going on. There are barely any soldiers patrolling. Last time we were here, they were everywhere.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” shiro said. “They might be preparing an ambush. Make sure you have an exit planed if you need to get out quick.”

Keith stopped walking when he arrived at a crossroad in the halls. Pulling out a high tech explosion that pidge designed, he connected it to one of the walls like hunk had showed him, putting it in the spot that would cause the most noise and damage. One down, fourteen to go. He had a bag secured over his shoulder that he was holding all the explosives and the detonator in.

He continued this work for a few more bombs, making sure they were spread around the ship, but not close enough to hurt his friends, who would arrive at the west hangar. There was another dilemma none of them had thought of until now. They didn’t know where lance was going to be, so they didn’t know which room to not put bombs around. Not wanting to risk hurting lance by accident, keith moved up the plan and made his way to the security room after consulting his team. He’d look for the room lance is in, plant the bombs to avoid that area, then wait. 

Keith ran through the halls, looking for anything familiar, as he didn’t know exactly where the security room was. And still, he hadn’t found a single soldier anywhere in the ship. That was making keith increasingly nervous, but he couldn’t figure out where they all were. He’d find out after checking the camera footage, another reason he was so eager to get to the security room. 

“Time check?” keith asked. 

“We’ll be there in ten minutes, but we can slow down to give you some extra time,” Pidge told him. 

“Okay, thanks.”

After a few more minutes of wandering around, a familiar hallway came into sight. Following it, keith finally found the security room. He had passed it in the hall when he was here earlier, but hadn’t given it much thought. Keith realized then and there how close the security room was to the room with the files that he had been in. they were in the same hallway. Keith could have met up with lance easily and went to the left wing together. If they had, things could have gone much differently. 

Brushing those thoughts of guilt out of his mind, keith entered the security room and began checking each camera. He saw that although captains and high ranking officers were in their positions, there weren’t any guards patrolling the halls in any of the cameras. That means that they all had to be in the left wing, where there were no cameras. Before keith could report this finding to the team, something strange happened.

There was an electronic clicking sound, then all the sudden keith could hear the audio in one of the rooms. There wasn't any audio before, and keith hadn’t pressed any buttons, making him skeptical over how it turned on in the first place. Before he could ponder it more, two guards began talking. Keiths head snapped over to the source of the noise when he heard them mention the blue paladin. It was from the speaker next to the control room camera footage. 

There were two people in the room: The intense galra woman from the video, and one of her personal guards. “The blue paladin is still alive?” said the guard. Keith watched and listened attentively.

“Surprisingly, yes,” the galra woman said. “I didn’t expect him too. I’ve got to admit, he’s got determination. That won’t matter soon, though,” She said with a knowing smirk. 

“Of course,” The guard answered back. “And where is the blue paladin located? I’ll make sure there are guards stationed there for when you move him.”

“He’s in the med room, in the left wing.”

Keith audibly gasped when he got an exact location for his friend. He was about to tune back in to listen more, but the audio had shut off, and so did all the cameras. Keith was greeted by a black and dark room, the glow of the screens no longer illuminating his face. 

There were so many things for keith to process in that moment, but most importantly was lance. He called his friends right away, giving them a rather rushed and messy explanation of what happened. “I know where lance is!” he said loudly to finish off the report. “What do i do? I have to go get him now, right?” 

Taking his teammates an equal amount of time to process this new information (it didn’t help that keith was talking at the speed of lightning), shiro answered back after a few seconds. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, i think you should stick to the plan and get him after all the bombs are planted.” 

“What? Why?”

“If you bust in there, the guards will sound the alarms and it’ll be hard for you to get out of there, especially while carrying a guy that weighs the same as you. When they sound the alarms, the castle won't be able to get inside, so you won't have a ride out or any backup.”

“But shiro, they said they’re moving him soon. It would be easier to get him now while i actually know where he is!”

“They’re probably moving him to the hangar where we entered so that that woman can keep him as leverage, like we thought she might. After that all we have to do is set off the explosives and get out of there. Stick to the plan, finish putting down the explosives.”

“B- but… okay, fine,” Keith said, about to argue but eventually giving up. “When are you guys getting here?”

“Seven minutes.” 

“Okay. i have five working bombs left, i'll set them in the west wing. A few of them broke on the ride over here, but we have enough, i think.” Feeling very agitated, keith stormed off to finish his job. He hated the fact that he knew lance is on this ship and where he is exactly, but he has to wait to get him. Something could happen in the time between now and then, and the fact that keith could have done something to prevent it would add to the guilt upon his back. It could be the last mistake that caused the pile of regret and guilt to fall to the ground, crushing keith. A small part of keith knew that shiro was right and he needed to think of this logically. He didn’t have to be happy about it, though. 

Finally, each of the remaining bombs were set. Now all keith had to do was stay out of sight and wait until the team arrives. They should be there any minute, keith might as well head to the left wing, just to be there incase anything happened and he needed to get lance quickly. 

“We’re boarding the ship now,” Pidge told keith.

“Okay,” Keith responded. “I'll be waiting. Keep your mic on so i can hear what's going on.  
‘

“Copy.”

Keith still couldn’t see any guards, even when he was so close to the left wing. He got to thinking. His mission was easy, and should’ve been much harder. No guards stopped him, he easily got the information he needed, the plan was perfectly on track. He should have been happy about this, but instead he just felt uneasy. The ship knew they were coming, they should have at least some guards patrolling the hangars, to make sure the castle of lions doesn't try anything or attack. 

He felt too uneasy to just stand there, and he couldn’t tell his team anything as the mics would be on, the galra would hear him talk. With time to spare and a mind full of curiosity, keith headed into the left wing he was close to anyway, investigating. He made sure his helmet volume was set as low as it could be so no guards would hear it. 

He passed through countless halls, finding that this wing was nothing but confusion, mazes of corridors, and empty rooms. Even worse, there were no guards to be seen. In any other situation this would have been great, but it sparked a question keith was very fearful of. If the guards weren’t here, where are they?

While he explored rooms, he listened to the conversation his friends were having with the galra woman.

“Okay, we’re here,” Shiro said, taking charge with a sturdy and a commanding voice. You’d think that he was the one who blackmailed them into coming to his ship, not the other way around. “Where is lance, and what do you want with us?”

“Not so fast. Shouldn’t we introduce ourselves first?” Replied the woman. That sharp, monotone voice brought shivers down keith's spine. Her remembered how she spoke to them after turning the camera on lance. Her and her voice would forever be associated with a bloodied, dying lance. Keith would visualize that each time she opened her mouth and spoke. He hoped he wouldn’t ever hear her voice again after today, just as he hoped he would never have to see that bloodied lance again. “Im cultra, leader of this rebellion.” She paused to let the paladins introduce themselves, as if she cared. 

“You know who we are,” Shiro said in the same intense voice that didn’t sound like it did normally. “Let’s get straight to business. What do you want with us, and where is our friend?”

Keith listened attentively as he continued to navigate the maze that was the left wing. It was the strangest ship he has ever seen. Most of these rooms were just empty, nothing at all in them. Every once in awhile he would see a room with at least a table or chair in it, but no guards or people in general were present. They must be decoy rooms, making the important ones harder to find. It was a smart idea, keith had to give them that, it just wasn’t good for him in this situation. 

Breaking his train of thought, the galra woman, cultra, spoke up again. “I thought it was clear enough,” She said, anger gracing her words. She must not like shiro speaking in such a commanding way on her own ship. “I keep your paladin alive and you show up here, unarmed, and be my prisoners. I’ve honored my part of the deal,” she took a pause, “Have you?”  
Keith stopped walking in his tracks, she was about to call them out for keith not being there. His hand reached for the explosion detonation, ready for the fight to break out, but then she continued to talk. “Those bayards you each carry. You did hear me when i said ‘unarmed’, correct?”

Keith continued walking after letting out a relieved sigh. Now he was sprinting across these halls. He had to find lance fast, the conversation with the paladins and cultra was getting slightly more heated. Soon enough keith will have to detonate the explosives and grab lance. That would be much easier if he knew were lance was. He would give anything for a map of this place. 

“Well? Drop them,” Cultra said to the unanswering paladins. 

After hesitating a second, shiro responded. “Why should we?” he asked, just stalling at this point. 

Keith got to thinking. Why hadn’t cultra, or anyone else on the ship, noticed that keith was missing. It’s a known fact that there are five paladins, one of which they have. The fact that another one wasn’t there should have screamed in their face, but cultra didn’t even mention it. With his heart falling to his stomach, it all clicked into place for keith. 

Cultra knew keith was missing. She knew he was on the ship, and she knew he would go to the security room.The guards were probably hidden out of the camera's sight, and ready to attack. Desperately turning on his mic to warn his friends, keith was body slammed before he could say anything. His helmet was knocked off, as was the air in his lungs. When he turned, he saw multiple guards and centuries.

Slightly disorientated, he pulled out his bayard and started slicing like mad, trying to take out as many of the guards as possible. Unfortunately, they were too much. Hands grabbed him from each direction, despite his struggle. He kicked and tried to jimmy his way out of their grasp, but they kept their hands firm and started walking keith to one of the rooms, a guard picking up keith's helmet that had been knocked off.

The good news is, they took keith where he wanted to go. They steered through halls he hadn’t even been in and soon enough they were at a room that displayed the words “med room” on its door. The bad news, they tied keith to a chair the second they brought him into the room. 

“Let me the fuck go!” keith called out uselessly, knowing his friends were in trouble. He thrashed around, but it was no use. All the guards left the room but one. It was culturas personal guard, the one keith saw her talking to from the security room. 

The soldier took his helmet off, revealing himself as not a galra, but one of the concursus, the people from the strange fire/ice planet they had the ice castle battle on. It was interesting that one of them was here, on the galra ship. The alliance must have gone deeper than the paladins knew. The man's hair was like magma had been poured over it, running from his head down to his shoulders. His skin was tinted slightly blue. You had to look closely to see it. 

He opened his mouth and spoke. “Man, you were really easy to fool.” There was a smirk upon his lips and a youngness to his voice. Must be a newer recruit. “We had another security room here in the left wing, we saw you enter the one in the right wing and then all we had to do was edit me and cultra talking onto your screen so you would see it. “

“Then what are you going to do now?” Keith asked with anger biting at each word. 

“Keep you here,” The man replied. “Other than that, i don’t know. I’m sure cultra has a plan.”

“I’ll tell you what happens next. I’m going to get out of this chair, and rip you to shreds!” Keith yelled, rocking in his chair a bit. He didn’t know what was going on with his friends, his helmet was on the table but the man silenced it so keith couldn’t hear anything. He couldn’t believe he fell for their stupid plan, he felt guilty for not seeing it sooner. Now his friends could be in trouble and it's his fault. 

Replying to keiths shouts and thrashes, the man simply put his finger up to his lips and made a ‘shhh’ sound. “You don’t want to disturb your friends slumber, do you? Actually, he might just be dead, i haven't checked in awhile.” he said, nodding his head to the corner of the room. 

Keith looked over, and all the breath was sucked from his lungs. His eyes grew wide as he saw lance, almost unrecognizable and laying on a metal table. He was covered in blood and bandages. His bangs were matted down, and dirt, sweat, and blood covered his face and body. Even with him looking so weak and damaged, it was like a light was sparked within keith. There were butterflies in his stomach, his heart race picked up, just from looking at the boy he missed so much. He was there, alive (telling from his chest rising and falling from breaths).

He could’ve stared at lance all day, but a new surge of determination rippled within him. He needed to get lance and his friends out of this ship. Ignoring everything else, keith focused on a way he could get out of here. His brain worked fast, considering every possibility and trying to devise some smart, in depth plan. But he realized, why not just keep it simple? Flailing his arms around behind his back, where his hands were tied to the chair, keith smirked when he wrapped his hand around something that was in the bag they forgot to take from him.

“I have a question,” Keith said, a small smirk upon his lips. “You said you watched me enter the security room, but did you monitor me the entire time i was on this ship?”

“Uh, no,” The man replied, eyes squinted with curiosity and hesitation. 

“So,” Keith said, a full blown, shit eating smile now on his face, “You wouldn’t know about the bombs.”

“The what?” Before they could keep this riveting conversation going, keith pressed the big green button on the remote in his hand. Explosions shook the room, even when there weren't any bombs too close to where they were. Keith reminded himself to thank pidge for inventing them. 

Although the shaking and noise did disorientate keith a bit, he was more prepared for it than the guard, who let out a yell of surprise and was holding his ears shut. Not letting his chance escape him, keith stood, his feet not being tied up, and ran at the guard backwards. The guard was trapped between the wall and the chair legs that pinned him there. With as much power as he could, keith slammed his head against the guards head, knocking him out.

As soon as the guard dropped to the floor, keith ran, or waddled, over to lance. His eyes fluttered slightly, but he was still unconscious. The blast shook him so much he had fallen off the metal table he was placed on. “Lance, lance!” Keith said while cutting away at the rope with the built in blade in his armor. 

****  
He walked slowly through the castle of lions, viewing each room. He looked at his friends faces. He relived conversations they had. He remembered old childhood memories and the meals he and his family ate. 

Lance Kept running memories past his mind, like a repeating video. He wanted to make sure he didn’t forget anything, he didn’t want these memories he cherished so much to be lost and scattered. Because what more does he have? He’s hurt, on the verge of death in a creepy ship, his friend maybe on the way to be killed because of him. There wasn’t much more to focus on than the memories of better times. 

He thought of laying in the sun on earth, warmth filling his body. His closed eyes saw nothing but the deep red of blinding sun against them. He remembered the beach, the salt stinging his eyes and how he jumped when things bumped into his legs while in the water. He remembered teaching his younger sister to swim, how she cried every time he let go of her, but only a few weeks later she was so fast, she could give lance a run for his money. She joined her school's junior swim team right about the time he left for the garrison. Lance hoped she continued on that path, he had a real prodigy on his hands. 

He Also remembered simpler things, like late night training sessions on the ship. The castle was darkened and only some of the lights were on, the adrenaline battled lances sleepiness as he fought his friends and the gladiator, overall it was a strange setting but one lance came to love. There were also the meals he and his friends ate. Whether he or hunk cooked, sitting down at a table with the people he loved and indulging in hot food after a long day were some of the best memories he had. Lance, for the most part, is a people person, and that environment kept him energized and happy. He would give anything for another meal with them. 

He could’ve kept listing off all the things he cherished and missed, but that's when something shook his entire body. The memories playing in his mind rippled, like a television with bad satellite. He knew he had to wake up, he knew he could still live and not fall victim to this ship and the injuries he gained in it. A new motivation filled his body and he knew this was his chance to drag himself out of this memory prison. Why spend all your time thinking of old memories when you had an opportunity to make new ones? 

With all his might, he tried to wake up. He willed himself over and over again, trying to finish the job of that blast and wake up. He was almost there, but not quiet. The last straw, the last thing that shook everything into place, was a familiar voice calling out to him. “Lance, lance!” It said. He knew who the voice belonged to, but he didn’t know if he was actually there or if it was his mind trying to pull him from his nonconsensual slumber. Either way, it worked.

With his eyes opening slowly but fully, new light blinded him as he tried to take in his surroundings. Furrowing his eyebrows and squinting as much as he could, lances vision began to clear up. Staring down at him was a grinning keith, weirdly tied to a chair. For a second lance thought this was another dream his mind was trying to trick him with, until he tried to move and every single fiber of his body exploded with pain.

Trying not to grunt from the pain, lance just opened his mouth and said “Keith?”

“Hey buddy, you gave us all a scare,” He answered back, his arms moving rapidly, no doubt cutting the rope that bound his hands. 

“I have lots of questions. Why are you here? How long have i been out? Why am i on the floor, and most importantly, why are you tied to a fucking chair?” His voice was so groggy and low it didn’t sound anything like it normally did.

“Why do you think we’re here? To get you, obviously. As for the chair part, they kind of suspected our plans and i got caught. We have to get to the west hangar to help out the team. Oh yeah, and i planted bombs all around the ship for a distraction.”

Taking a few seconds for his tired brain to suck up all the new information and sights, lance replied. “Oh. I guess you really… blew me away.”

“If you tell me another pun as bad as that, i will knock you back out,” Keith said, but he was smiling. Lance was here, alive, and telling him corny puns. A pun that bad has never made keith so happy. For a few seconds, the two boys did nothing but stare at each other, both trying to think of something sentimental to say like ‘i'm glad you’re not dead.’ eventually, keith said “we uh, better get moving. Can you walk?”

“Maybe,” Lance replied. Keith held out his arm (that had since been cut from its restraint) and offered it to lance, to help him get up. Grasping it, lance sat up painfully. Stars danced in his eyes and a grunt left his lips. Keith put his other arm under lance's arm pit, and with their combined strength, lance was hoisted up and now in a standing position. He brought his arm around keiths shoulder and keith did the same. To keep him from falling forward, keith placed a hand on lance's chest. “I'm flattered, but now isn’t the time, keith,” Lance joked. 

“Dude,” Keith said, his face becoming admittedly red with a blush, “I will literally leave you on this ship.”

“Okay okay, onward, trusty steed!”

******  
“Why should we?” Shiro said, protesting the demand of their disarm, along with stalling for keith.

Culturas eyes were like piercing daggers, rage and anger evident in them. Then, there was a noise coming from her earpiece. The paladins couldn’t understand the galra message she was listening to, but when it stopped, she looked up at shiro with the rage in her eyes filled with a triumphantly knowing gaze. Her scowl turned into an evil grin, her galran ears were sticking straight up, everything about her showed total confidence. It was a terrifying. “Because i now have two of your paladins.”

Worried glances were shared between the three of them, knowing she could mean only one thing. Even shiro's steely demeanor crumbled. “What do you mean?” He tried, already expecting the answer she gave. 

“We knew from the beginning that you would send someone in, cloaked. It was a very predictable plan and our new technology picked up the pod right away. We have your blue paladin, and now we have your red paladin. By now i expect my guards have killed them, like i ordered,” She lied. “You broke our deal, this is what you get.” suddenly, up to a hundred soldiers appeared, almost out of the shadows. Their weapons were drawn and were just waiting for culturas order. 

The paladins failed to conceal their frightened gasps. More looks were shared between the three of them, their skin cold as ice and their hearts dropping. “Shiro?” Hunk asked, looking for any direction.   
“She’s lying,” Shiro said although not being positive. “They’re not dead, she’s just trying to get to us.” If he was right, cultra didn’t show it. She had a fierce pokerface they couldn’t read anything from. 

Despite being shook up and scared over the fate of their blue and red paladin's, the three of them held their bayards up high, preparing for a battle they know they can’t win. That’s when their prayers were answered. Explosions shook the ship, noise rang through their ears, some of the guards dropped their weapons. The paladins fear was replaced by a small window of hope, knowing keith succeeded. 

“Allura, coran, get the ship ready to leave!” Shiro barked, the two alteans still inside the ship.

“What about keith and lance?” hunk asked, worried. 

“Keith set off the explosion, he probably got free. We just have to stall until he reports to us!” Pidge said. 

“I agree. Hunk, try to contact keith every few seconds while us three fight. Try to get as many as possible but don’t tire yourselves out. We just have to keep afloat and trust in keith,” Shiro replied. The other two nodded their heads and followed his orders. 

Pidge put her bayard out and sprinted past a line of soldiers, electrocuting them one by one as she ran, taking out the whole first line of defense. Some of the droids didn’t move, the explosion probably rattling something loose in their gears. That made the paladins job much easier. But still, a good three fourths of the army was functional.

“Go!” Cultra yelled to the soldiers once she recovered from the blast. A few small holes in the wall were made from a nearby explosion, and the lights had gone off due to the electric wires being blown out. Other than that, the room was mostly intact. 

“Keith! Come in, keith!” Hunks voice sounded over and over again as he pulled out his bayard and shot as many lines of soldiers down as he could. When the soldiers started fighting back, things got intense.

***  
“Do you even know where you’re going?” Lance asked weakly as he and keith walked around the maze that was the left wing. Each step they took hurt lance, but that was inevitable. A quiet but sharp gasp of pain sounded from him whenever he took a step.

“For the most part,” Keith said. The lights in the hall flickered, the explosion no doubt damaging them. They hadn’t run into any physical damages to the walls yet, showing that they were still in the left wing. 

“Keith, come in, keith!” A voice sounded in his helmet. The explosion had disrupted some of the technology on the ship, including their intercoms, but they seemed to be working now. 

“Hunk! I’m here!”

“Thank god. We’re at the west hangar, get here quickly. Do you have lance?” Hunks words were rushed and loud, the sounds of gunshots and fights heard behind him. 

“I have lance, he’s alive. We’re on our way,” Keith replied, stopping in the hall for a second. 

“Hurry!” Hunk said, their mic connection cutting off again. 

“Alright, we’re moving too slow,” Keith told lance. In one fast movement, he swooped lance into a bridal.

“Ouch ouch,” Lance grimaced at the arm rubbing up against his side. Keith broke into a slow run and tried to navigate his way across the left wing. Lance was almost embarrassed at how easily keith carried him until he remembered the fact that he hadn’t eaten in almost four days. “That way!” Lance pointed when they arrived at a crossroads. “I remember from when we were here to find shiro.”

Without hesitating, keith took his advice. Lance kept pointing in the way they needed to go, and they were making steady progress at getting to their friends. Starting to relax in keith's arms, lance was having trouble keeping his eyes open. It was like weights were attached to them. His whole body felt cold and limp. If he could just get five minutes of sleep… 

“Hey!” Keith's voice sounded as he looked down at lance, snapping him out of his tiredness. “You have to stay awake.” It was quiet between them as keith ran through a few more halls. After hesitating a bit, keith finally chimed up. “I need to tell you something incase i die, or you die, or we both di-”

“Way to keep a positive attitude.”

Keith continued on, ignoring him. “All of this, you getting left here and… hurt. It’s all my fault, and i don’t think any apologies i say could make up for it.” 

Lance was so shocked he almost forgot to point keith down the correct hallway. He looked at keith's face, but he didn’t look back at him. “it’s not your fault at all! I didn’t get left here, i chose to stay!”

Heavy breaths shook through keith as he ran these halls, carrying lance. “No you don’t get it! It was their plan to isolate the leader of voltron on the ship. It was gonna be me until they changed it last minute when they heard you were leader! This is entirely my fault!”

“It’s not! Jus- i-. Look, can we talk about this at a time that isn’t now? Because this is a pretty intense and time sensitive operation and i can’t think right now. The fact that i just woke up from a coma and may be slipping into another one also doesn’t make the clearest mind.” 

“Okay, but first we need to actually survive.”

“Ah keith, always the optimist.”

It went on like that for a few more minutes, lance pointing keith in the right direction. They saw more damage in the ship, showing that they’ve exited the left wing. Keith had to shake lance a few times to keep him from passing out. His arms and legs felt numb under the weight of lance, but he just kept forcing onward. 

“Alright, i think i know where to go from here, we’re not too far,” Keith said. 

“Cool,” lance said weakly. “Man these galra are bad at treating wounds.” Keith looked down and saw that the previously white bandage on lances stomach had bled through with spots of red. “They’re almost as bad as you.”

“My bandage wrapping skills are great,” keith said, trying to hide his worry. Lance wasn’t as stable as he thought he was; keith needed to get back to the castle fast. Not only to help his friends fight but to also get lance into a pod. 

Lance took a deep breath and looked away from keith. “You guys shouldn’t have come. You know, i stabbed myself just so you wouldn’t come here but you did anyway. It’s kind of disrespectful,” He joked with a pained laugh. 

“Did you really think we wouldn’t’ve come?”

“I don’t know. At least you guys were safe in the castle. Now our friends are in trouble and i might not even make it,” Lance gave another deep sigh and shook his head violently to keep himself awake. “I don’t regret my decision of staying on the ship.”

“You’re the one who wanted to move all the deep talks to later, why are you bringing this up now?”

“Same reason you wanted to talk earlier. I don’t want to die without voicing my guilt.” 

Neither of them talked for the next few minutes of walking, maybe they were too tired, maybe the conversation was too heavy. Whatever it was, it left the two boys thinking. The whole situation felt surreal. Keith couldn’t believe he had actually found lance, alive. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but his hope head been fluctuating ever since he watched that hologram lance made before sending blue back to the ship. Lance couldn’t believe he might get another chance to live when he had already come to terms with dying. If there was one thing in common with the two of them, it was that they wanted to get back to the ship more than anything.

“we’re getting closer,” Keith said after a long silence between the boys. Neither one looked at the other. keith kept his eyes glued to the hallways in front of them; lance had his eyes closed tight, as if it would make the world around him disappear. “I can see more damage from the bombs.” 

“Good, I'm worried about the team. It's not like I'll be able to help them, though,” Lance mumbled miserably. 

“Don't even start beating yourself up. You have a stab and shot wound in your stomach, a million cuts and some half healed ribs. Of course you won't be able to fight.” 

“I could have worked that much out for myself.” 

Keith continued speed walking, carrying Lance still. His lungs hurt from raspy breaths, his arms were tired from the weight, and his legs felt as if they would fall off any second. 

“Hey,” Keith said in-between tired gasps of hair. He knew that the whole 'deep conversation’ thing has already been attempted, but he needed to ask anyway. “In the… the hologram message, you were going to say something to me. But y-you hesitated. What was it?” 

Feeling Lance tense up in his arms, Keith knew it was something important. He didn't look down at Lance, who kept still had his eyes shut tight. Either from his fuzzy, fading brain or from just thinking it over for a long time, Lance replied after a long delay. 

“Not right now. It's not the time,” he said in the same deep, groggy, un-lance like voice he's had since he woke up. “I'll make you a promise, though. If you and me both make it back to the castle, alive, I'll tell you, but you have to promise me that we will talk about everything. You have to talk to me about the whole guilt thing and how you think this is all your fault. Don’t be emo and pent up like you usually are.”

Keith nodded. “Alright, i promise.” He understood you lance wouldn’t tell him what he wanted to say here, but anticipation ate away at him anyway. “You still have a promise for me, too.”

“What's that?”

“You said that when we make it back to the castle, you'd get into a healing pod straight away. I'm going to hold you to that. Take it easy, be honest with us, allow yourself to heal.” 

Only then did the two look at each other, making eye contact. “We'll both keep our word. Deal?” Lance said, locking eyes with Keith. 

“Deal.” Lance gave a small smile to Keith, but it wasn't like the pained one he gave in the video of Lance bleeding on the floor. This one was warm, and sincere. Neither boy would admit that their stomach fluttered with the eye contact. 

There was more silence. This time it lasted longer, lurking between the two of them as if the atmosphere was telling them to talk. But after a few more minutes, even that lurking went away. Looking down, keith discovered lance to have fallen unconscious, still in his arms and eyes lightly closed. He looked peaceful, and a part of keith didn’t want to disturb him, but he remembered that this was because of blood loss. Lance is dying, there’s nothing peaceful about that. 

“Lance,” Keith called to him, shaking him in his arms. He didn’t wake up. He stopped in the hallway and gently placed the blue paladin on the floor. “Lance, hey!” Keith called again, again, no response. In a hail mary, keith slapped him crisp in the face. “You have to wake up!”

Nervousness, worry, dread. They crept into keith like an airborne disease. He felt ripped apart from the inside out. “I can’t do this without you,” Keith said in a voice so quiet he almost didn’t hear himself. The damaged corridor with flickering lights created a landscape of destruction and defeat, the very feelings that flooded keith. He tried his best to eject the things slowing him down from his body. He tried to force the defeat out of him, to wash away the dread. It worked to an extent, but instead of forcing them out, these feelings only suppressed themselves into a quieter presence. It was like they were taking a nap, but whispering up to him a message of ‘we’ll wake up, sooner or later.’ 

With new, fresher motivation, keith used all his might to pick up lance and swing him over his shoulder. He sprinted down the halls like his life depended on it. He’s already been too slow, dread of the sight of his possibly defeated friends most likely making him slow down, but all of that was pushed back now. He didn’t focus on the dreadful possibilities of what happened to his friends, instead he focused on the opportunity to save them from the fate he was scared they’de face in their outnumbered battle. 

The slight ping sound keith's shoes made as they pounded on the ship's metal floor reminded him of the castle of lions, and the same noise that radiated the halls as someone walked down them. Every few second, an unconscious lance, swung over keith's shoulder, would make a noise that was a mix of a sharp inhale of pain and a long grunt of discomfort. He wanted lance in a cryopod on the ship, his friends on the ship too as they flew into a wormhole and traveled far away from this endlessly painful place. 

He knew he was close when he could hear the zaps and crashes of centuries being destroyed. Keith couldn’t help but grin to himself at the thought of his friends holding out so long, still taking down the metal soldiers as they waited for keith to get back. And sure enough, surprising himself, keith turned a corner and was greeted by the sight of his friends slashing and stabbing. He’d arrived at the west hangar.

Allura had joined the three paladins, alongside coran who was wielding an altean sword that looked much too heavy for him. Regardless, the five of them were making their way through waves and waves of soldiers, sparks flying as their weapons destroyed the centuries. Even with them being ruthless forces of fighting, they were evidently worn down. Sweat dripped off their heads, their movements were getting slower and less agile, and the soldiers were advancing closer and closer to the castle parked behind them. 

The two alteans and Hunk and Pidge fought in a crescent shape, warding off soldiers that got too close to them or the ship, but they were being pushed back at a rapid pace. Soon enough they would be almost pressed against the castle. Shiro, on the other hand, was fighting a one on one battle with the large galra woman, cultra. They stood outside the ring of fightings, distracted by their own intense battle. Shiro was standing his ground, but like the others he showed signs of tiredness. He fought with his arm instead of his bayard he got when fighting zarkon, while cultra fought with a dagger. It showed how much of a tactical fighter she was, using such a short blade.

After processing the battle going on and bathing in the joy of seeing his friends up and fighting, keith wracked his brain for a game plan. He was carrying an unconscious boy with no safe place to put him, and he’d have to fight through waves of soldiers to join his friends. Luckily, none of the galra had noticed he entered the room, so he had the element of surprise on his side. 

He’d need a distraction so he could fight his way to the circle where his friends were holding off the soldiers. Keith thought back to the night he found shiro and others, at the garrison lab in the desert. He had set explosions to drive away the scientists, he did the same thing today on the ship. That was the answer, if only he had any remaining explosives, and anyways, if he set an explosion this close to the fight, it would kill everyone, including his friends and him. 

Along with lance, the explosive bag was still lugged across his soldier, but there was nothing in it but duds, bombs that had broken during the flight to the ship. That’s why they hadn’t exploded when keith set the detonator. They’re useless… but the galra don’t know that. In a few seconds, a plan had fully developed in his head. 

Keith backed up to the corner he just turned, so he wouldn’t be spotted. In a desperate attempt, he spoke into his helmet. “Guys,” He said. With a sigh of relief, he was greeted by various replies of ‘keith!’ and ‘are you close by?’ showing that the technological shock from the explosion had gone away and their intercoms were working. “I’m right around the corner, and i have a plan to distract them so i can get closer to you. Whatever you do, stand your ground and know that i have a plan.” He didn’t wait for a reply from his team, and in a move of confidence, he charged back into the battle. 

Still with lance carried over his shoulders, keith reached into the bag and pulled out a dud explosive. “Hey, uglies!” Keith shouted. “Bomb in the hole!” In a dramatic move, he threw the dud into the center of the galra soldiers. Either because they were programed to avoid explosives, or they didn’t want another technological shake up that came with the last explosion, the centuries broke flank and went wild, as keith hoped they would. His friends looked a bit shocked for a few second, but remembered keiths message and stood their ground, not breaking rank.

In the midst of the confusion and chaos, keith took his chance. With his sword in one arm and lance slung across the other, he cut through confused centuries so fast they didn’t know what hit them. Keith himself was surprised he fought so well, his lungs still burning from the running and his arms and legs weak from the weight he carried. What kept him going was pure adrenaline and the determination of getting him and lance to the castle safely. They both had promises to keep. 

“Keith!” His friends shouted out, thankful for the help. He fought through the last wave of disorientated soldiers, and he reached the paladins and their altean hosts, “Lance!” They said after seeing him on keith’s shoulder. 

“Sorry i'm late,” Keith said, putting lance down gently. He laid him on the side of the parked castle, an area away from the soldiers. Unfortunately for them, the distraction didn't last long enough for them to get onto the castle and fly away. The soldiers were already starting to unphase and head towards the paladins, they would just follow them onto the ship before the catwalk could close. It would do nothing but bring the battle onto the castle. “You guys ready to keep fighting?”

After the distraction allowed them to catch their breath and get their strength back, the paladins were ready for a new wave of fighting. Shiro managed to shake off cultra and joined his friends at the place they were standing. The soldiers didn’t go back into flank once they recovered, so the battle was much more chaotic and messy now. The paladins spread across the room and fought them in different areas, not being able to see each other with the battle raging around them.

Just like when he fought his way to his friends, keith was filled with a surge of energy that kept him on his feet, despite being so tired. He had visions of conversations he and lance had on the castle of lions, meals he and the team had together, their late night training sessions. The thing that kept him so driven was the thought of their team being together once again. They had shiro back, they'd get lance back. He just wanted their team to be together again.

Lasers flew past keith, he heard the sound of battle around him. Defeated centuries fell to the ground, sparking dramatically. Keith couldn’t see his friends, they spread far out. He was the closest one to lance, unconscious on the spot keith put in. He was trying to keep an eye on him and fight at the same time, but it was hard, whenever he averted his eyes from the battle, a blaster got too close to him for comfort. 

Even the determination originating surge of energy couldn’t keep keith up for ever. The soldiers seemed to keep coming no matter how long they fought and how many they defeated. Drops of sweat fell from keith's face, his arms, already tired from he and lance's journey over here, felt like lead. He didn’t doubt his friends were getting just as tired.

Just then a bullet grazed keith's rib cage. It wasn’t too deep but he could blood damping his armor, the injury causing keith to fade more. Sheer will power was the only thing keeping him up. Most of the centuries in the area he was in had been defeated, but it wouldn’t be long until new ones took their place. 

Then, causing keith's heart to sink like a weight, he saw cultra make her way over to lance, who was a few feet to the left of keith. Her eyes were wild with rage, her hair and armor a bit askew from the fight. She looked like a terrifying force; she could make enemies flee just from the terror she radiated. 

“I swear i'll kill all of you!” She shouted to no one in particular. Her voice shook, the rage eating her up. With her eyes widening a bit, and her head tilted, she was a vision of pure insanity. “I’ll start with him!” Cultra took a small blaster out of the belt she wore on her hip, and holding it with only one arm, she pointed it at the unconscious and unaware lance.

Time seemed to slow down a second as keith assessed the situation. None of the other paladins could see what was happening, and even if they could, they’de be too far away to help. Keith could throw her bayard at cultra but she would probably shoot lance before it hit her. Lance had his bayard but he was unconscious still, unaware of what was going on. Keith was helpless.

Again, he seemed to have visions of past memories with lance. He remembered seeing lance when they rescued shiro at the garrison and keith's arrogance had took hold, telling lance he didn’t remember him. He remembered when lance had cried on his shoulder after falling down the stairs. The metal clang of shoes against the ship hallway rang in his head when he remembered carrying lance to the infirmary. He could almost feel lance's hand in his as he remembered it. He remembered the blue of lance's eyes and how they shone. He remembered the characteristic smirk lance would get when something funny happened. He remembered how he felt when lance looked at him in the days leading up to him being left on this ship, and how his heart jumped, his mind would get foggy and he would feel so light. 

Without telling his legs what to do, and barely even thinking it over, keith ran as fast as he ever has in his life, and at the last second, he dove. The sound of the gun triggering made his head ring as he flew in between cultra and lance, feeling weightless in the air. He could feel the exact spot the bullet hit him, it felt cold as air pressed against it. Even with being hyper aware of the piercing in his body, there was no pain, if anything, he felt at peace when he hit the ground. He found himself looking at the ceiling, he ignored the calls from his teammates who had looked his way right as he got shot. 

He looked a little to his left to see cultra standing there, gun still pointed up, her eyes wide with violence and rage. Shiro was able to shake off the centuries he was fighting and quickly body slammed cultra just as she was about to make her second shot at lance. 

Keith looked a bit to his right. He had fallen next to lance, who had just fluttered out of unconsciousness. “Keith?” He said in that groggy voice. keiths eyes were slowly starting to close again, falling into an involuntary slumber. “No,” lance said simply. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed in a display of pure sadness. 

A large pool of blood was surrounding keith, who could feel himself fade. “I guess i-i’m breaking my promise, aren’t i?” keith told lance.

“We’re too of a kind,” Lance said in a shaky voice, looking down at the stab wound on his stomach. Using any and all energy in his body, lance moved so he was laying down next to keith. There were no exchanges of ‘you’re going to be okay,’ because neither boy knew if that would be true.

They faced each other, their heads only millimeters apart. In a very shaky movement, keith grabbed lance's hand, just like they had back at the infirmary on the castle. They stayed like that, hand in hand, staring into eachothers eyes. Both of them would fall in and out of consciousness. 

Neither of them were aware of what was happening with the battle, as the only thing that mattered was the two of them, together. There were so many feelings going on inside both their heads, it's unexplainable. The only thing they were certain on, the only emotion or feeling they were completely aware of, was the one they were both feeling for eachother. At that moment, it was so clear how they both felt, it doesn’t even need saying. They held onto each other's hands so tightly, as if it was their life source. Other than the fact that they both were dying, it would have been a perfect moment.

He wasn’t sure how long later, but keith felt his teammates hands on him. Two hands were on keith, blood covering whoevers arms they were. Two other hands picked up lance, who was also covered in blood, both from the leaking bandage along with some of keith's blood that he touched when they laid together. 

Keith and lance were pulled apart as the team picked them up and frantically loaded them onto the castle of lions. Still not aware what was going on, he could hear the faint shout of his team. Lance and keith kept their hands held in the hair until they were physically too far away. Keith felt like he lost a part of himself when his last finger slipped out of lances reach. But now, keith could see the metal walls of the castle. Lance saw the home he never thought he’d see again. They were alive, for the most part. Together on the ship. Keith couldn’t hold back the tears that streamed down his face, he didn’t even know what caused them.

He was home, he was with lance, they were all together again.

“You guys will be okay,” One voice said. 

“We’ll get you to the pods!” another one said. Keith and lance believed it. They would get to the pods, they’de be alright. 

Both boys closed their eyes and wouldn’t open them for a while. But they were home. The unimaginable became the imaginable. Lance thought he would never get to see the castle again. There he was. Keith thought he would never see lance again. There he was. 

They were home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm what will happen next? There will be one more chapter after this, and ill upload it at the end of the month. Next chapter will be SUPER heavy on the Klance. i didn't wan't them to get together in this chapter cuz i feel like the whole kiss-while-they're-dying thing is a cliche. 
> 
> Please please pleeeeaaasee leave any comments you have on the story or my writing, they're what keeps me motivated. Show your love by giving kudos and staying tuned for the next chapter! thank you so much for reading!
> 
> tumblr: Lanceisthebest


	5. The Stars That Surrounded Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance start their recovery as Lance adjusts to being back at the castle. Lance is overjoyed at being alive and he missed his team, but he has to work to make a recovery, mentally and physically.
> 
> His and Keiths relationship was glowing more than over, and both boys were positive about how they felt about eachother. When they get together, sparks fly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is slowburn klance and unbelivable amounts of pining and fluff, it was great to write. 
> 
> I know this chapter is SUPER long and i actually only planned on it being like 6k words, but i got inspired by how cute lance and keith were. 
> 
> Enjoy (This is the last chapter by the way)

His mother was standing there, nothing but darkness around her. She smiled wide, instantly making her surroundings lighter. That smile could work wonders. When lance would fall off his bike and scrape his knee when he was younger, his mom would flash that warm smile and the pain went away. 

“Mom,” Lance whispered, smiling back at her. He walked over to her and hugged her tight, as if his life depended on it. He was a bit taller than her, but neither of them were bothered by that. Lance felt so safe in her arms, the safest he’s felt in a long time. He pressed his face into her curly, cinnamon colored hair. He felt like he was home. “I missed you.”

After what seemed like years, the mother and son released each other. Mrs. Mcclain scanned her eyes down her son's body, no doubt admiring how much he’s grown. She gave a small gasp, though, when she saw the sloppily wrapped, blood seeped bandage that lay over his ripped paladin underarmor. “Cariño, what happened?” She said, worry evident in her slightly accented voice. 

Lance's heart fell when he looked down and noticed what she was talking about. He quickly put it in the back of his mind and gave his mother a genuine smile. “I’m fine, mom. I promise.” He wrapped her up in another bear hug, not wanting to let go. He held on so tight he didn’t doubt the wind was squeezed out of her lungs. He felt like he was home, back on earth with the beaches and boulevards. He felt like he was experiencing rain again, like he could smell the sweetness of the hot air outside. He got all of this from just a simple hug. 

That's when he heard the voices. They sounded distant, like he was overhearing a conversation in the room over, but he could still understand what they were saying. “When will they be let out?” one said, full of excitement. “Any second,” the second one said with a british sort of accent. “Isn’t that too soon?” a third voice asked.

Then, lance remembered. He knew where he was, in a cryopod, having another one of those bittersweet, vivid dreams. This was one of the realest feeling things he’s ever experienced, but the realization that it was nothing but a creation of his own mind made his insides feel like mush. 

“Mom, listen,” Lance told his mother who was still wrapped in his arms. “I have to go. I’ll be home… eventually. I love you and i miss you more than you know.” It didn’t matter that this was only a dream, he just felt it right to tell her, even if it was only fake.

He looked down and saw that both he and his mom's legs were disappearing. It was like pieces of paper blown away in the wind, fragments of the vision scattering and disappearing. Those distant voices became clearer and the vision of his mom got blurrier. 

Lance did nothing but hold his mom close and wait for the dream to end. “I love you,” he told her again. And then she was gone, and so was he. 

He opened his eyes drowsily and found that it was just as he expected, he was standing in a cryopod, the blue cover of it dissolving to release him. The skintight suit covered his body for the third time in his residency to this ship. This infirmary was practically his second bedroom, as he’s there so much. 

Standing in front of the pod were all the members of the castle of lions. All of them bore wide smiles as they looked at lances opening eyes, and shiro held out his bionic arm to help lance out of the pod. After taking a few seconds to digest his surroundings, he took shiro's arm and stepped down from the elevated platform of the pod. 

When lances foot hit the ground and he tried to walk, he grunted in pain. Every part of his body hurt, making his knees buckle. The stab and gunshot wound in his stomach radiated pain above all other spots. Shiro caught him before he hit the ground and helped him stand up straight. After a few seconds the stars left his eyes and he was more adjusted to being up on his feet. “Aren't these pods supposed to heal people?” Lance asked with bitterness in his voice. “I don’t feel very, you know, healed.”

Allura chuckled a bit, just glad to have lance back on the ship. “For injuries as severe as yours, it’s best to have short healing sessions instead of keeping you in there for days. This way your body and the cryopod will work together to heal you, instead of being dependant on the pod. This way will provide a better recovery.”

Lance simply nodded, not having the energy to do anything else. He studied his friends to see how they looked. Each of them, including allura and coran, were covered with bandaids and bandages from the huge battle they had at the galra ship. Considering how outmanned they were, it could be worse, but they still looked tossed up. 

“Why aren't you guys in pods?” Lance said, activating mom-mode. “You’re all scratched up, you should be resting at least!” 

 

“We’re fine, you and keith are first priority,” Shiro said, putting a hand on lance's shoulder to comfort him. “Our injuries are nothing compared to yours.” 

Lance exhaled and said nothing, but gave his team a slightly scolding glance. Then, suddenly remembering with a sharp gasp that hurt his body, lance shouted out “keith! Is he okay? Where is he?” he started rambling, visions of a blood covered, injured keith popping up in his mind. 

Pidge pointed to a cryopod behind them. When lance turned around, his stomach bubbled at the mere sight of him, black hair lying at his shoulders, symmetrical face looking forward. However, his heart fell at how lifeless Keith looked. “he’s not… he’s not dead, is he?” Lance asked in a quieter voice. 

“He’s fine,” Allura said in a soothing voice. “He’ll be out of the pod any second. He gave us quite a scare, though. Both of you did…”

Lance kept his gaze fixed on keith for a few seconds, but eventually looked back at his team and gave a deep sigh. “Yeah. Sorry about that,” He said with his head held low. 

At that moment, it clicked. Lance realized that he was back home, in the ship with his family. No more scary galra women torturing him, no more having to fend for his life and wondering if he’ll survive until the next day. He had family, and warm baths, and home cooked meals. He felt this huge weight be lifted off of him, and he could feel himself slip out of defense mode. A few days ago, lance thought he’d seen this ship for the last time, he was certain he was going to die. Lance wouldn’t admit it, but in that moment, when he realized he was actually home again, he teared up a little. 

“Ground control to major tom,” Pidge chimed in at lance's distant look. “You okay?” 

Lance snapped out of it and smiled down at pidge. “I’m better than okay.” And with that, lance leaned down and wrapped pidge up in a one sided hug, ignoring the pain in his body. It took her by surprise but eventually she hugged back. Lance moved on to coran, and did the same thing. 

He hugged each member of the team, including allura who surprisingly let him. They were long, desperate hugs and only then did lance realize how lonely and scared he was back at the galra ship. “I missed you guys,” he said, emotion surging up again, bathing in the physical contact after days of isolation. Wetness filled his eyes but he blinked it away. “I thought i wasn’t going to make it back here. I- i thought i was going to die on the dirty floor of an interrogation room.” The team looked at lance with warm but slightly sad expressions. “It didn’t feel real when you guys came to rescue me. I- i couldn’t believe it.” The tears were getting harder to blink back now, lance resulted in pretending to itch his cheek so he could wipe them away. “Sorry, i'm just… really glad to be here.”

Shiro spoke up. “Of course we came to get you. We wouldn’t just leave you on the galra ship. Not one person even second guessed the idea of rescuing you.” shiro's eyes were warm and welcoming, he seemed happy, why wouldn’t he be? 

Lance gave a warm, teary smile to his team, thankful for them being there. Lance sat on the ground near keith's pod, waiting for it to open. Hunk and pidge joined him while shiro, allura and coran were standing not too far away.

“I bet you guys were so bored without me,” Lance said playfully. “Like, i'm the only comic relief of this team. Who did you go to for witty banter? Mr. Mullet over here?” He pointed his head towards keith's pod. 

“Well, we weren’t really paying attention to comic relief. We were more focused on trying to find a plan to save you before you bled out and died,” Pidge said sarcastically. Hunk tried to discreetly elbow her as to say be-more-sensitive. 

Lance shrugged, his body flaring up in pain again. “Point taken.”

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, hunk spoke. “Were you dreaming when you were in the cryopod?”

“Yeah, why?” Lance said, thinking back to seeing his mom. He thought about how real it seemed. He could smell the fruity shampoo she always used, he could feel her arms wrapped around him. The whole dream made lance smile from the sight of his mother, but it made his heart sink when he remembered it wasn’t real.

“You just looked really happy.”

“I think you were crying a bit,” Pidge said. 

Lance tensed up defensively. “I wasn’t crying!” he said. “I was just… sweating!”

“Sweating… from your eyeballs, sure,” pidge said in a cocky voice.

About to argue again, lance just gave a deep grunt and pouted. “I’ve just been through a very traumatic experience, i think i’m aloud to cry in my dream realm.”

“Fair enough.”

Lance rested his head against hunk in a friendly gesture. He had missed his friends more than words can describe. He still couldn’t get over the fact that all five paladins were here, alive and together. It felt surreal, after all those battles and injuries. A small part of lance's mind was still thinking this all was another dream. 

“What happened back at the galra ship?” lance asked, genuinely curious. “I can’t remember much after keith and i got to the west hangar. I think i passed out.”

Hunk gave a dramatic sigh. “Lots of fighting, lots of drama. When keith gets out of the pod we’ll tell you the whole story.”

Keith. Whenever he heard the name, lance's heart did a somersault. He really wished it would stop doing that, it was getting annoying. The only things from the rescue mission that he remembered clear as day were the promises he and keith made to each other, and how keith had gotten shot and they laid together. He remembered how they had been hand in hand, both of them being on the verge of death. It was almost like they had shared their life source then, them holding hands seemed to keep them anchored to world in a way. 

As if the universe was reading his mind, lance heard a hiss come from keiths pod, and watched as the blue barrier disappeared to reveal the red paladin. Lance shot up from the ground and stifled another groan of pain. The rest of the team did as lance did and made their way over to the pod. 

Keiths eyes opened slowly, revealing curiously purple eyes that always made lance's heart flutter. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to digest the new sights. All six of his friends were gathered around the pod, looking up at keith with kind eyes and warm smiles. The most radiant of them all was lance, wearing a tight healing suit identical to keith and bearing a wide smirk as he looked up at keith with the blue eyes he missed so much. 

Not being able to help it, keith smiled at the sight of his alive and well friend. “You’re okay,” he said simply. 

“As are you,” Lance said back, his eyes squinted slightly to show a message of relief and happiness. 

As he did with lance, shiro offered keith his arm to help him step down from the pedestal, to which keith stubbornly refused. He stepped down on his own, and a grunt ripped through his throat. Pain radiated from the bottom of his ribcage on his right side, where he had been shot. Keith clamped a hand over the wound and looked up to his friends. 

“Isn’t this thing supposed to heal me?” He said with a tremor to his voice. 

Lance looked to keith with his eyebrows raised up. “That’s what is said.” 

After allura repeated what she told lance, keith gave a sigh of annoyance. He wasn’t thrilled over the slow recovery path they were on. All the annoyance and pain seemed to be sucked out of keith, however, when he looked at lance again. He was there, alive, on the ship. After what felt like years of struggle, all seven of them were together in their home. Keith decided that he could deal with the pain of recovery if it meant having his friends back. 

Facing lance, keith said in a quieter than usual voice, “I’m glad you’re not dead.”

“Touchee,” lance said, beaming up at him. He then proceeded to wrap keith up in a sudden and long hug that caused both of their injuries to tingle with pain. “You saved my life,” Lance told keith, his arms still wrapped around him. 

“You saved ours,” Keith said, awkwardly bringing his arms up to lance's back and sporting a blush he was happy lance and his friends couldn't see. “It was the least i could do.” The other five watched them hug wordlessly, slight smiles on their face. 

“You two can eat and we’ll explain what happened at the battle,” Allura began after the lingering hug ended, “But you need lots of rest. You must take it easy while you’re not in the pods. Your organs and blood vessels are practically a quarter healed right now, and i don’t want to risk you damaging them more.”

Neither Keith or Lance were thrilled at being told to take it easy, but they mumbled an ‘okay’ to allura. After rummaging through one of the medical cabinets, Coran handed a cane to allura, who then handed it to lance. “Keith, you should be okay to walk but Lance, You have two major injuries to your abdomen, you’ll need this for now,” She said. 

“Uh, no im fi-” Lance began to say. He was cut off by keith giving him a stern glare and raising his eyebrows to say remember-the-promise. “Alright.” he reluctantly wrapped his hand on the curved edge of the metal cane and made his way towards the infirmary doors. Once he began walking, he was glad he had the help, as each step caused ripples of pain, even with his weight supported on the cane. 

After both Keith and Lance had gotten changed into their clothes, the seven of them sat at the large altean dining table, eating a delicious meal hunk wiped up from the remaining spices from planet arus. Lances was filled with emotion as he experienced a meal with his friends, something he thought he would never witness again. 

“How long were we in the pods?” Keith spoke up. “And how much longer will we have to be in them?” 

“You were in them for nearly a day,” Allura began. “I'd like you, keith, to spend two hours in the pod every day. Lance, i want you to be in the pod for four hours a day. We’ll see how you look in a few days.”

“Getting an extra four hours to sleep every day? Fine by me,” Lance joked.

“Lucky,” Pidge groaned.

“Yeah well, i’m not sure if the extra hours of sleep are worth the two holes in my abdomen.” A few minutes passed of nothing but silence and eating. Lance savoured each bite he took, the home cooked warm meal tasting amazing after a few days with not a scrap of food. Lance found himself smiling every few minutes, remembering that he was home and safe. His mind was still processing the change of situation.

“So, what happened with the battle?” Lance asked after his plate was clean and he was reaching for seconds. He was the last person eating. 

“How much do you remember?” Keith asked with squinted eyes. 

“Not much,” Lance replied. “I remember you finding me in whatever room i was in. After that… i remember us, uh, talking a bit. Don’t remember much after that,” Lance said, trying to stealthily tell keith that he remembered them talking about the promises and whatnot. 

Keith gave a small nod to lance to show that he understood the message. Then, he started telling lance how they walked through the halls and how he had passed out in his arms after a while. As he told lance, he was also telling the rest of the team. Due to the explosion keith caused, the intercoms weren't working well, resulting in poor communication throughout the team during the mission. Keith explained up until when he chucked the dud explosion into the crowd of sentries to cause a distraction.

Pidge spoke up next. She backtracked and explained how cultra had told the paladins that keith and lance were dead (“You guys thought I died?” lance interrupted. “Did you cry? Were you sad?”) and how they started fighting when keith set off the explosions. “After that, keith got there and created the distraction. He put you down by the castle and we all fought for a long time,” Pidge said. “Then that galra lady, cultra, was about to shoot you but keith jumped in front of the gun-”

“That, i remember,” Lance interrupted again. 

“-and took the blow.’”

“Thanks for that, again,” lance said, looking over at keith. He would bet his life savings that he actually saw keith blush. “What happened after? I don’t remember anything past that point.”

“Me neither,” keith added, trying to hide the obvious blush he bore. 

“We knew we couldn’t win the battle. There were too many of them and too little of us,” Shiro began. “Also, we didn’t have time to spare, we had to get you two into the castle. Since the intercoms started working, we made a plan quickly.”

“Pidge and I tried to distract and lure as many of those stupid robots as we could. We ran around the ship and they followed us, leaving shiro, allura and coran,” hunk said, adding to shiro's intro. “As shiro and allura got you two onto the ship and into the cryopod, coran steered the ship out of the west hangar.”

“We told pidge and hunk to meet us in the east hangar,” Allura said. “Coran steered us there and we picked them up. Luckily for us, the sentries aren't the fastest at running. We got there before they caught up, so we didn’t have to do much more fighting. That’s about it. We’ve been flying around in open space for a day and there’s no sign of the galra ship, or any others.”

“What about that lady, cultra?” Keith asked. Out of the corner of his eye he saw lances fist clench and his eyebrows slightly furrow in a mix of anger and fear. In the midst of all the other injuries, keith forgot that cultra had tortured him for a day. 

“Yeah, she seemed pretty… determined,” Pidge said. 

“That’s an understatement,” Lance mumbled almost unintelligibly.

“How do we know she won't come after us?”

After thinking for a few seconds, shiro replied. “Hopefully the damage the bombs caused to the ship will make them unable to travel for awhile. We also took out most of their crew and sentries, so she won't have many resources. Besides, she’ll have no idea where we are. I think we shouldn't engage her in any more fighting unless she keeps causing trouble. Agreed?”

“I’m more than fine with never seeing her or being on that ship again,” Lance said, with nods of agreement from his teammates. 

“So, what do we do now?” Hunk asked shiro. The other paladins heads turned to look at him, them wondering the same thing. 

“Well, with zarkon being recently defeated, the universe is probably all messed up politically. As We all heal and make any repairs to the ship left over from the battle with zarkon, we can act as diplomats and try to sort out any problems people may have.”

“But… what about earth?” Lance said, thinking of the dream he had of his mother. “When can we go back?” 

Shiro thought for a second, obviously choosing each word carefully. “Once we assist the universe in healing after zarkons rule, we can visit earth.” All the paladins smiled widely at being able to go to earth, but shiro quickly added “I don’t know when that will be, though. It could still be a while, it depends on how broken the universe is.”

Excitement rang through the paladins. Even though shiro spoke very vaguely, they were still excited about even the idea of going back to earth eventually. They exchanged their plans for when they get to earth, they talked about what they miss from their homes, it was generally a very energetic and happy atmosphere. Enthusiasm radiated off of each one of tenns, their excitement not being concealed or hidden in the slightest.

The only quiet one was keith. He sat at the table with a warm smile on his face, but not much more than that. It wasn't that he didn’t want to go back to earth, he just doesn’t have much waiting for him there. He has no family, and the only home he had was a dusty cabin in the desert. Keith doubts anyone even noticed him to be missing. It would be nice to see familiar land again, though, and the happiness his friends displayed truly warmed his heart

“It’s pretty late,” shiro said after the noise and commotion died down. “You all should get some rest.” just with those few words, the paladins realized how tired they were. They realized how dark their eye bags were, they stifled yawns, their eyes looked bloodshot. Lance wondered if his team had stayed up all day, waiting for him to get out of the pod. 

Shiro stayed behind and volunteered to do dishes while the others went off to their rooms. Lance lagged behind. He wasn't sure why, maybe he just wasn’t tired, maybe he wanted to talk to shiro. He wasn’t sure. 

“How’re you feeling?” Shiro asked lance, who hobbled over to the sink and sat on the countertop.

“Good, i guess,” He replied. “Well, not really, but at least i'm back on the ship and everything. In a few days or weeks i’ll feel good as new.” He tried for a smile but it might have just looked pained. 

“If you need to talk or anything, i'm always here. I can probably relate to how you’re feeling.” Lance cursed himself for forgetting that shiro was held captive for a year by the galra.

This time, lance gave him a genuine smile. “Thanks.”

There was a profound silence between them for a few minutes, only filled by the sound of a sponge against the metal bowls. Lance tried thinking of something to say, but it was shiro who spoke next. “I haven’t thanked you yet,” he said. 

“For what?” lance replied.

“You got me out of cultras ship. You rescued me.”

“I mean… not really,” Lance said, facing away from shiro. “Wasn’t it the galras plan to like get me isolated or something? To use you as bait? Keith said something like that. All i did was go along with their plan. I fell for it.” 

“That's not the whole story,” shiro said, putting down the plate he was scrubbing. “Yes, it was the plan to isolate you there by using me, but they didn’t think you’d actually succeed. You getting me out of there disrupted their… big plan.” Shiro made a conscious decision on not mentioning the fact that their plan was to have lance choose who dies, shiro or the castle. Lance didn’t ask what shiro was talking about, because he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Not at that moment, anyway. “Don’t downplay what you did. You exceeded their expectations and you saved me, you should be proud of that. In fact, i'm proud to call you my friend.”

Lance's heart was heavy with emotion. Before voltron, if you told lance that shiro, his icon, would say that to lance, he would punch you in the face and call you crazy. “I’m glad you’re back,” he told shiro. 

“Same to you,” shiro replied, smiling. “You should get some sleep, you probably need it.”

Lance nodded. “You should get some rest, too.”

“I will, goodnight.”

“Night.” and with that, lance took his cane and walked back to his room. Once he reached his bed, which had been untouched since he stayed on the galra ship, he crashed down on it and covered himself in the warm blankets. For a good few minutes of long breaths and closed eyes, lance thought he would sleep soundly throughout the night. That changed when he remembered how back in the interrogation room, he would fall asleep for a few minutes and be woken up by cultra dragging a knife across his chest. Suddenly sleep didn’t seem so appealing.

Lance didn’t get up or anything, he just stayed in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He’d dozed off for little bits of time, but he would always wake up with a jolt, unable to go back to sleep for a while. Soon enough, the more fluorescent lights of the castle turned on to show that the night cycle had ended. Before he went out to get breakfast, lance figured he should get dressed. He was still wearing his clothes and hadn’t changed into pajamas; he wouldn’t be doing much work today so might as well spend his time in comfortable pjs.

He took off his baseball shirt and looked at himself in the mirror in his room. It was obvious that the healing pod did lots of work, but it was also still evident that lance was injured. The stab wound and bullet wound were both a pale red colour, like the wound was healing but could still reopen at any time. 

Looking at his chest and face, some of the cuts from cultra had closed or healed, but there were obvious, white scars in their place. Lance had hoped there wouldn’t be any trace of the injuries once he'd healed, but it didn’t look like that’d be the case. The deeper, bigger cuts hadn’t even fully healed yet. The biggest ones that would leave the most prominent scars were located along lances left cheekbone, and one ran from his left ear to the bottom of his chin. There were a few scattered along his chest too, but he could easily hide them if he wanted too.

From the battle with zarkon, lance got a cut on his forehead, and the scar was still there. After the cryopod hadn’t healed it, he should've expected these new scars, but he still found himself shocked by them. It wasn’t that he necessarily thought they were ugly, it's just that there would always be these scars that would tie him back to bad times. 

Lance found that the longer he looked at the scars, the more troubled he felt. He quickly turned away from the mirror and pulled on his blue pajama shirt. He made his way to the lounge and kitchen of the ship, cane in hand. Each movement seemed to strain his core, which caused his injuries to flare up. Simple things like walking, sitting, and any sudden movements caused him a tremendous amount of pain. It was like lance had the hardest workout in his life and was now sore beyond belief. Add a gunshot and stab wound to the mix and you might have an idea of how lance felt. 

Once arriving to the kitchen, lance found it to be empty, except for one person, keith. Of course, as it always does, lance's heart did a summersault the second it saw keith and his messy, bedhead hair. ‘Knock it off,’ lance thought aggressively to himself when he found himself staring at the boy who hadn’t noticed he’d entered the room. “Hey,” lance said after a few seconds, managing to divert his eyes. 

Keith turned and looked at lance, a small smile across his lips when he saw him standing there. “Hey,” Keith said back, nothing else coming to mind. “Uhhh, nice cane.”

“Are you mocking me?” Lance asked playfully. “I hate this thing. Why do i even need to use it? I can walk on my own.” It was true. At first he was grateful he had it to support his weight, but with each step he took, he started to hate the cane more.

With raised eyebrows, keith said, “remember the promise.”

“Yeah, yeah, i get it!” Lance said with a sigh. “I just came in here to make some breakfast, i guess. So you want some?”

“That’s convenient, because i came in here to get some food. I’ll have some, do you want help making it?”

“I’m fine. And before you tell me to ‘remember the promise,’ let me just tell you that i am more than capable of making some food without help, okay?!” Lance said it a bit angrier than he meant too, but the injuries, pain, and amount of sleep he had gotten didn’t put him in the best of moods. 

“Alright,” keith said simply, not thinking much of the outburst. 

For a few minutes, they didn’t say anything to each other. Sounds of eggs cracking and ingredients mixing occupied the room as lance cooked away. Keith sat in a chair at the table nearby, staring into space with his arms crossed. Lance proved himself right as he cooked at the speed of light. With only small jolts of pain from sudden movements, his injuries remained non bothersome for the most part. Lance was glad he could at least cook without assistance. 

“Uh, how do you feel?” Lance asked keith. 

“Pretty good, actually,” He said. “A bit sore but not much more than that.”

“Can’t relate,” lance said back, bitterness stinging his voice. 

“Did you sleep well?” Keith asked, trying for a conversation. 

“Like a baby,” lance said. “Well, not really. You?”

“I slept for a few hours, but i woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep so i’ve been hanging out here.”

Lance nodded. There was more silence, until lance spoke up about something he had forgotten about until now. “You know when cultra contacted the castle with that video?”

“Yeah?”

“What happened at the end of it? I blacked out.”

“Not much. She just told us to get to the ship within two days, unarmed,” Keith replied. “We agreed. But of course we made a plan.”

“I still can’t believe you came,” lance said, his eyes glued to the eggs he was overmixing. “Well like, i knew you’d try but i made it pretty obvious in both the video and hologram message that i didn’t want you guys to risk it.”

“Well, we did risk it,” keith said with a strange hint of anger to his voice, “and we got you back, and everyone's okay.”

“You’re not,” lance mumbled. “You got shot.” 

“I’ll heal, wont i? And anyway, i'm the one who dove in front of you, it was my choice.”

It was finally starting to dawn on him that his friends would have tried to rescue him no matter what, even if he told them not to a million times. “Truth is, i would’ve given anything to have been back in this ship, with you guys. I just didn’t want you getting hurt, especially because of me.” 

Keith unfolded his arms, stood up, and walked to the countertop lance was cooking upon. He stood on the opposite side of it, so it separated him and lance but they were still close together. “I get it,” he said. “That’s one of the reasons i was so keen on getting you out of there. It's my fault you got stuck there, or at least i felt like it was, and i couldn’t bare you getting hurt anymore.”

“Aww, look at us. Two bros talking out our feelings. It's like we’re normal people and not on an alien spaceship.”

Keith cracked a small smile, which surprised lance. Lance also seemed to notice the two of them getting closer, but not figuratively. The two of their faces were only inches apart without them realizing, as if a magnetic force was bring them together. The two of them fell silent, doing nothing but looking into eachothers eyes so attentively you'd think they were studying a picture. 

Their faces were now so close, they’de be touching in only one movement. Lance automatically closed his eyes, as did keith. They leaned in, their lips seconds away from touching… 

“Hey guys,” a voice said while yawning. Lance and keith both yelled in surprise, and backed away from each other by at least three feet each. Their eyes were wide and staring at hunk, who just entered the room. “What?” hunk said, confused at his friends shocked and surprised faces, “Am i interrupting something?”

In an overdramatic and shaky voice, lance started spitting out words in raid fire. “Ha! In-interrupting something? What’s there to interrupt! Nope! Just uhh me and keith, doing nothing!” Keith said nothing, his eyes still wide and a dark and obvious blush across his pale face. 

“Okay,” hunk said quizzically with squinted eyes. “Are you making breakfast? I’m hungry”

Hunk continued talking, but lance didn’t hear a word .He was too busy mentally screaming at what had almost happened between him and keith. He didn’t know how he felt. Exited? Nervous? Shocked? The only thing he knew was that he wanted to punch hunk square in the jaw for interrupting them. 

Lance risked a glance at keith. Their eyes met and if possible, keith's blush became even darker. They both quickly looked away. Lance turned back to his food and continued cooking, nodding at hunk every few seconds to show he was listening to what he was saying. He wasn’t listening. 

Keith, however, was still stuck in the same place. His eyes still wide, his blush still deep, his body still. He hadn't moved at all, the shock of the whole thing short circuiting his brain. Did… he and lance almost just kiss? Did he just imagine it? He could've stayed in the same spot for years, but then pidge walked in, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Keith forced himself to unfreeze and sit in the chair he’d been sitting in before. 

“What’s for breakfast? I'm starving,” Pidge announced as she walked in.

“Uhh, eggs and pancakes,” Lance replied. Keith noted how his eyes were glued to his hands that were cooking away, and his voice sounded a little unstable. The fact that he wasn’t the only one shaken up by the whole thing gave keith a bit of comfort. 

The only thing he could think of was how Lance smelled naturally of roses, and how Keith had looked so close into Lance's eyes. It was like he was a mapmaker, and he needed to study each little detail of the blue irises. He was thinking about how each strand of Lance's hair laid, and how the light reflected gently off his smooth skin. Everything about him was perfection, even when up close. 

Keith wasn't the only one preoccupied by thoughts of the other. Lance's mind was filled by observations about Keith. While pouring batter onto a skillet, Lance thought about the messy but still gorgeous black hair. He thought about the wondrous, lilac eyes he had. His eyebrows were thick but still had a shape. His skin was rough from his time in the desert. Keith looked absolutely perfect, but he didn't try one bit, it was natural. Everything just pieced together in a rough, but beautiful way.

A few minutes later, and food was placed on the center of the dining table, the four paladins gripping portions. Hunk sat next to lance, where keith usually sat, but he couldn’t tell if he was glad or disappointed at being farther away from lance right now. Eventually, the rest of the castle woke up and the dining room was busting with energy and talk. Lance and Keith seemed to calm down a bit, but what had almost happened was still in the corner of their mind and would be there for a while. 

Shiro went over the agenda for the day while they all ate. Lance and keith would be in the cryopods in a few hours, during that time the team would do some leftover repairs. Once the two boys got out of the pods, they’de help organize and sort through some of the old distress signals they’ve gotten. It wasn’t a busy day and everyone was fine with the plans. 

After everyone had eaten what they could and thanked lance for cooking, lance looked in dismay at all the plates he had to wash. As most of the others went to leave the room, keith seemed to read his mind. 

“Uh, i can do that,” Keith offered, not looking lance in the eye. 

“Do it together?” Lance insisted, keith nodded. “Ah, hurt lance and helpful keith. It’s like the good ol’ days.”

Keith cracked a smile. “The ‘good ol’ days’ you’re talking about are from, like, a week ago.” Lance washed while keith dried. They stood shoulder to shoulder, the awkwardness slowly dissolving away.   
________________

He was running as fast as he could. He urged his legs to move and put all his willpower into getting away from her. But when lance looked down, even though his legs were moving, he wasn’t going anywhere. He glanced behind him, and saw that cultra was gaining on him with rapid speed. She’d get to him any second. 

Lance gave up on running and spun around. He waited until cultra was within an arm's reach, and he drove his fist forward as fast as he could. A second before his fist hit her, lance disappeared. He looked around him and found that he was standing in the interrogation room of the galra ship.

He was about to walk to the door to leave, but he looked down and found himself on the ground. Blood covered him, cuts were littered all around his face and chest. Dark red oozed from his stomach, where a knife handle was sticking out. An audible gasp left his mouth, but if the lance on the floor heard it, he didn’t show it. 

Looking around the room more, Lance saw cultra standing over the lance on the floor. A smile was on her cheeks, her arm held out to display the facetime screen with the other paladins. On the screen, the faces of his friends flashed and changed. It was a closeup on one of them, they’de say something, then it’d change to the next person. His heart fell when he heard what they were saying. 

“You’re easily replaceable, lance,” Shiro said, each word stinging at lance like poison.

“Our friendship at the garrison wasn’t even real,” Said pidge, her face contorted in a look of anger. 

Lance was frozen in place, but this time it was from the sheer shock of these statements. He couldn’t move, all he could do was try to process what he was hearing.

Alluras face was next. “You do nothing but get in the way.”

“I only became friends with you because i had no one else. You were a last resort,” Hunk said in a look of anger lance had never seen before.

“You’re nothing but an unfulfilling replacement for the family i lost,” Coran said bitterly. 

Lastly, keith's face appeared on the screen. His eyebrows furrowed in anger, his eyes piercing, it was a frightening sight. Lance tried to prepare himself for whatever he would say. He thought it would be along the lines of ‘i’m a better pilot than you’ or ‘you’ll always be in my shadow’, but when keith opened his mouth and spoke, what he said affected lance more than those statements ever could. “You’re a fool to think i would ever view you as more than a friend.”

Lance's eyes went wide, his jaw went slack, his arms fell to his sides. He still couldn't move, he could barely think. He felt his heart grow cold and there was a certain nervousness he felt in his stomach. All the comments were swimming around in his head, turning everything they touched into darkness. It was pure negativity, it was infecting lance. This was his worst fear, this was a nightmare in its essence.

Unaware of what else to do, lance looked down at himself on the floor. The battered, blood covered lance lay unmoving, his eyes open and glazed over in a way that only meant death. The faces of his friends and their comments were on a loop, repeating themselves again and again, forever burning into lance's mind. 

“Shut up,” He tried to say, but found that no sound came from him. His lips were moving, but he didn’t hear anything. He couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, he was trapped. He sunk to his knees and closed his eyes. He placed his hands firmly over his ears but could still hear the angry comments from his friends. “Shut up,” he tried again. No sound. “Shut up.” No sound. He was angry, trapped, frightened. He couldn’t bear it. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” He ntoiced that there seemed to be slightly more sound to his voice now. Desperately, he continued on “shut up! Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!”

His eyes were shut so tight he could see red, his hands pressed so firmly against his ears that his arms were shaking. He felt a hand press itself on lance's shoulder, and in an act of fear and surprise he fought against it. With his eyes still closed, he swat it away, but more arms grabbed him. In uncalculated and spasm like movements, lance moved every part of his body to shake off and escape the grasps, he kicked, he flailed, all while yelling “Shut up!” Again and again. 

He moved so fast and violently that the injuries in his abdomen were throbbing with excruciating pain. Lance was confused. He’d felt lots of things in the past few minutes, but physical pain wasn’t one of them. Hesitantly, lance moved his arms away from his head, where they had been shielding his head. He stopped yelling and opened his eyes to looked around. All his friends were standing around him, they looked out of breath, disheveled, and very worried. Lance was sitting on the ground, a few feet away from the cryopods.

Allura took a step closer and opened her mouth to speak. Lance flinched, thinking those painful remarks would leave her mouth again, but the voice was soothing and calm. “Lance, you were having a bad dream. Are you alright?” Her hair and clothes were messed up, along with a few of the others. It occurred to lance that that was because of him, when he was fighting them.

After a few more seconds of processing the situation, lance replied. “Uh, yeah,” He said simply. He was still shaken up from the dream. It had felt so real, he could still imagine those painful words coming out of his friends mouths. In Fact, he panicked a bit when he looked any of them in the eye. 

Keith stepped forward and offered his hand to lance. He took it and pulled himself to his feet. Lance looked at keith for a second, then remembered what he had said in the dream. What he said shook him up more than any of the others, and it made him have to face the music. He liked keith, romantically, and there was no denying it to himself any longer, especially after what happened this morning. Lance quickly hung his head as to stop looking at the team, because both of the reminders of his dream and the guilt he bore at fighting them. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Hunk asked. “You still look a bit shaken up.”

“I’m fine, just a dream” Lance mumbled, his hand on the throbbing wounds on his abdomen. He looked up a bit and noted how worried his friends looked. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Im fine,” he said in a clearer and more assertive voice. He realized he was still grasping keiths hand and dropped it quickly. “I'm sorry for kicking you guys, and stuff.” As he spoke, he realized how hoarse his voice was; he must’ve been yelling really loudly. The whole team was staring at him like he was a hurt animal, he wanted it to stop. “Uh, can we just get to work? Didn’t we need to catalog distress signals or something?”

“Of course,” Allura said, lance seeming to break her out of a trance. “Get dressed and meet us in the control room.” 

Lance grabbed the cane he was starting to hate and made his way to his room. From the time he walked from the pods to the infirmary door, he felt all his teammates eyes on him, but he didn’t look back. 

After changing from the cryopod suit to his everyday clothes, lance did what allura told him and reported to the control room. Only Keith and pidge were there. Lance sat down in his designated seat and put his cane on the ground next to him. “Okay, what do i do?” he asked. 

“We’ve been doing this since i woke up from the pod, so a few hours. We still have lots to do, though,” Keith explained. He walked lance through how to file the name, place, and date of the distress signals they’ve gotten. It was simple work, but there were so many signals that it would take a while. Lance brought up the chairs holographic screen and began typing away like keith had showed him.

After a few minutes of quiet work, keith piped up. “What was the dream about?” He asked.

“What?” lance said back. 

“You had a bad dream, what was it about? 

“Oh,” lance said with his head down, “nothing.”

Pidge looked up from her screen. “You were kicking and screaming for like, a minute. We could barely touch you without getting whacked in the face. It’s obvious it wasn’t ‘nothing’”

Lance hesitated. He kept his eyes focused on the screen in front of him, even though he knew keith and pidge were looking at him. “I dreamt i was back on cultras ship,” he said after a while. “She was chasing me but i couldn’t move. Then i was in the interrogation room where she, you know, interrogated me. I saw myself on the floor, bleeding, from when she facetimed you guys. Instead of the facetime, the screen showed all of your faces, and you were saying… not very nice things. Then i looked down and saw that i was dead on the floor, while you all kept repeating the comments.”

“What did i say?” pidge asked. 

Reluctantly, he told her. “Uh, ‘Our friendship at the garrison wasn’t even real.”

“Oh,” pidge said, staring into space. “Damn.”

“What about me?” Keith asked.

Cue the alarms in lance's head. He made something up on the spot, knowing he couldn’t tell keith what he had actually said. “Uh, you said something like ‘You’ll never live up to me, you’ll always be a cargo pilot.”

Keith didn’t reply, none of them did. The room was filled with the sounds of them typing away as all three of them thought over what lance had said. Pidge spoke up a few minutes later. “What did everyone else say?”

Lance thought ‘what the hell’ and spilled it all. Might as well tell them the whole story. When he finished reciting the last comment, keith and pidge practically had their mouths hanging open. 

“You know none of that stuff is true, right?” Pidge said after a few moments. 

“Mostly, yeah,” lance replied, his head still glued to the screen in front of him, his cheeks slightly pink in embarrassment. 

“Mostly?” Keith questioned. 

Lance didn’t reply right away. He felt like he was in the spotlight again, like he was being watched like an animal. He was uncomfortable and didn't want to tell them the truth. But some part deep in lance knew that if he lied, he might feel worse later. He took a deep breath in. “Do you think i would have reacted like that if i wasn’t 100% sure that stuff isn’t true?”

There was more silence, but not because of shock like it had been before. Keith and Pidge just didn’t know what to say, they didn’t know how to comfort lance, who had gone back to his typing. Keith was the one who spoke up. “Those comments are not true at all. I can assure you of that. You aren’t us, you can’t read our minds, so when we tell you that stuff isn’t true, don’t argue with us.”

Lance finally snapped his head away from the screen in front of him and he looked at keith with sympathy. It was sympathy for himself. Keith didn’t know what he had said in the dream, lance couldn’t tell him, but out of any of the comments from the dream, lance was the most certain that keiths was the truest. If he knew what he would actually said, lance knew he wouldn’t disagree with his dreamself. 

Pidge spoke up after keith. “When i was at the garrison, looking for my family, you and hunk were the only people i had. Of course our friendship wasn’t fake. And i know for a fact that all the other comments aren't true.”

Lance felt himself start to lighten up. They were probably right. He knew the team cared for him, it was obvious, especially when they had just fought through a galra ship just to save him. Lance's mind psyched itself out sometimes, and he knew that, he just had to distinguish the things that are real and the things he’s making up. Lance gave his two friends a genuine, warm smile. “Thanks guys.”

“I'm gonna get you back one day,” Pidge said with a smile. 

“For what?”

“You kicked me in the face like four times.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Apology accepted, but im still gonna get you back.”

The atmosphere was a little lighter. The three of them made small talk while typing away at their screens. Lance felt a bit more at ease after such a shake up, and he was glad he had shared the dream with his friends, it was like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. 

Lance and keith exchanged ‘how are you feeling?’s as both of them had been in the pods earlier. Lance remembered with a jolt and asked keith if he had hurt him when he was fighting everyone. He assured lance he was and felt fine and that he hadn’t hurt him, to lance's relief. 

“Did allura say anything about the healing sessions? I don’t think she was very keen to talk to me after, you know, punching and kicking her.”

“When i got out of the pod she said i’d healed faster than she thought, and i’ll only need one or two more trips to the pod,” Keith said. 

“That’s good,” lance said. He was glad that keith was healing steadily and fast, but another part of him was a tad bit jealous of the fast recovery lance wasn’t getting. “I think i still need a lot more sessions,” he said with a bitter laugh. All that kicking and thrashing around made it feel like someone tore apart his stomach from the inside. He wouldn’t be surprised if he looked down to see his abdomen gushing blood. 

“Okay, i’m finished,” Pidge announced some time later. She got out of her chair triumphantly and left the room. “See you nerds later.”

“I’m finished, too,” Keith said, causing lance's heart to drop. He didn’t want to be here all alone with boring work to do. “I’ll keep you company, through,” he told lance. Never mind, his heart was resurrected. 

Pulling a chair up to sit right next to lance, keith could smell that natural rose scent again. He saw the way his hair lay, he saw the pockets of color in his eyes. He remembered how close he and lance had gotten in the kitchen before hunk interrupted them. He tried to clear his mind, but sitting so close to lance, it was hard to get him out of his mind. 

“You type weird,” keith said with a smile.

“What’s wrong with how i type?!”

“I don’t know, it’s just not how i do it.”

“And how do you do it?” lance said, unintentionally putting a bit of flirt into the question. 

Keith grabbed lance's hand and placed it on his digital keyboard, trying to line it up to the letters. Lance turned his head, as did keith. They were looking at eachother like they had before, attentively and intensely, studying each feature. Keith was suddenly hyper aware of the fact that lance's hand was in his, but he didn’t let go. 

“We should uh, probably get this work done,” Lance said in a calm, almost whisper. He still kept eye contact with keith, their faces so close together.

“Yeah,” Keith said simply. Their looks lingered for a few more seconds, until they finally looked away and dropped the other's hand. Lance cleared his throat and continued with the work. The two sat in silence, and would occasionally risk glances at the other. Both of the boys found them thinking ‘is this… something?’

***** 

“Hey, pidge,” Hunk said. He’d just finished repairing a minor issue in the castle and he crossed paths with pidge. “What’ve you been up to?”

“Been watching keith and lance stare into eachothers eyes for a weird amount of time,” She said nonchalantly. 

“Hm, they were doing that this morning,” Hunk commented, walking to the lounge with pidge. “I think i interrupted them.”

“That settles it. There’s definitely something going on there.” They both sat down on the couches, hunk taking some gears and pies out of his work coat and fidgeting with them. Pidge sat cross legged on the opposite couch.

“What do you mean?”

“First, they started hanging out together and not hating each other. They even had like, secrets or whatever. Then, when lance was on the galra ship remember how broken up keith was? Like i get they’re friends or whatever but remember when allura got left on the galra ship and he didn’t even wanna try and get her?” Pidge took a long sip of the drink she picked up on the way back from the control room. “And now, they’re sitting all close to each other and looking into eachothers eyes and stuff.”

“I mean, they could just be good friends now,” Hunk said. 

“Nope, there’s something there.”

“So what do we do? Try and get them together?”

“Nah, i just want to see how this plays out.” 

There was a few seconds of silence. Then, with a smile, hunk spoke up. “Do you wanna make a bet?”

A wild, mischievous smirk crept onto pidges face. “Thirty GAC says they’ll get together by the end of the week.”

“You’re so on.”

************ 

“You busy?” It was the afternoon of the next day, lance had walked next door to keiths room. He got out of his third healing pod session only an hour ago. The automatic door of keiths dorm hissed open to let him in. 

“No,” Keith said, looking up from the book he was reading, “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” lance lied. “Just bored.” He had something on his mind, and he wouldn’t leave this room until he got what he wanted. He sat down on the bed as keith bookmarked and closed the book. “What’re you reading?”

“Some book on machinery,” He said while looking at the book with a bored expression. “It’s the only book in english on the castle.”

“Nice.” Lance planned to be more stealthy and strategic in his approach, but he gave up and asked the question straight up. “So, at the galra ship, you know how we made promises to each other?” Lance had a small smirk upon his face. “You still need to hold up your end.”

“What?” keith said.

“C’mon, don’t play dumb. You told me you’d spill all your feelings about the whole guilt thing.”

“Do i have to?” Keith asked, his throat going a bit dry. 

“On the ship you were so eager to talk about it!”

“Yeah, well, there was a 70% chance one or both of us would die.”

“Spill, start at the beginning.” Lance grabbed keiths pillow and put it on his lap, crossing his arms and leaning on top of it as if he was settling in for a long movie.

And so he did. Keith started at the very beginning, to when he pieced together the galras original plan. He explained how it should have been keith trapped on the galra ship instead of lance, and that it would have been him if he hadn’t made lance leader. Lance opened his mouth a few times to comment, but keith just continued talking, not taking any breaks. 

Once he told him the plan, keith dove in to talk about how he felt about all of it. “I know you chose to stay on the ship and everything, but i could have helped you! I could’ve gone with you to the left wing and then you wouldn’t have had to do everything on your own. Maybe you wouldn't've gotten shot, maybe we both could’ve gotten out of there. All the possibilities of what could have happened if i had just done one little thing differently are like, weighing me down. I thought it would lessen or at least shift after we got you back, but the weight is still there, and i don’t know what to do about it!” Lance opened his mouth to talk, but keith shushed him and continued talking. “And i didn’t want to talk about this now because i feel like your problems are so much worse than mine. Because of my actions you have to deal with everything that happened, which can’t be easy, and here i am complaining about some guilt.” Breathing a little heavy from the emotion, keith finally stopped talking. He had been talking so loudly and fast that lance almost didn't register the fact that he stopped.

Lance gave a long exhale. He extended his arm and placed it comfortingly on keith's shoulder, to which he flinched a bit. “Keith,” he said in a soothing voice, “You have to know that i don’t blame you for any of what happened. It didn't even occur to me to blame you, if anything, i felt guilty for leaving you when i sent shiro back in the blue lion.” Keith opened his mouth to speak like lance had, but was immediately shut down. “No, listen. Don’t focus on all of those possibilities. You can’t tell the future, so you can’t know if anything would have turned out differently if you made little changes. And also, don’t feel invalidated because of problems i may or may not have. I’m dealing with what happened, i can handle myself fine, so don’t guilt yourself for having problems too.”

Keith had subconsciously leaned a little into lance's touch on his shoulder. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed as he listened to lance, whose voice was weirdly comforting and sent waves of calm over keith. 

“Okay?” lance said to ask keith what he thought. 

“Yeah,” Keith said, giving a long sigh and hanging his head slightly. “Maybe you're right.”

“Do you feel better? Have i lifted your guilt weight?” He said in a playful sing songy voice. 

Keith scoffed, finding that the lump of emotion in his throat had dissolved. The atmosphere felt light and pleasant. “I think you have.”

“Good.” lance took his hand off of keiths shoulder, to which keith internally groaned from the loss of physical touch. “My work here is done.”

“Not so fast,” Keith said with the same smirk lance had on before, “Have you forgotten that you owe me not one, but two promises?”

“Uh oh, okay,” Lance said. “I already fulfilled one of them, though. You told me to get in the cryopod right away, and so i did.”

“Yeah, well you also agreed to be honest and talk about your injuries, mentally and physically.”

“What do you wanna know?”

“I don’t know, just talk about how you feel.”

“God,” lance said with a sigh, “You sound just like that bad therapist my mom made me go to when i was younger. Uh, i feel better than when i first woke up from the cryopod two days ago. Still hurts a lot, and i still need to use the cane but at least i’m making progress. Almost all the cuts have healed which is good. That’s about it, not much more to talk about.” 

“How are you feeling, like mentally? How are you dealing with things?” keith said, cautiously scooting a little closer to lance. 

He hesitated a bit, not replying quickly. He really thought about his time back at the castle of lions and how he was adjusting. It hadn’t really dawned on him how much his time with cultra had affected him, so he did what keith was there for and vented about everything he felt. “There are times i forget i'm safe, on the ship. Like i'll turn around and expect a century or cultra to be there. It makes me feel… kind of weak, because i was only on that galra ship a few days.” He took a deep breath and tried to avoid eye contact with keith. “I’ve been having trouble sleeping. Really the only sleep i’ve been getting is in the cryopods, and as you saw yesterday, i haven't been having the best dreams. Also, these scars on my face aren't the most friendly reminders of what happened. They look pretty cool, but it still kinda hurts whenever i look at them. That’s about it. But like i said earlier, i can deal with these things fine. I can handle myself.”

“Do you need anything from me?” Keith said, unsure of what else to say. 

“Not really,” Lance said, shrugging. He gave keith a warm smile. “I just need company sometimes, i guess.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, both of them doing their own thing but not speaking to each other. Keith even just sitting in the room with him made lance feel weirdly safer, not as scared or isolated. It didn’t even matter if they talked to each other or not, the atmosphere was pleasant. At one point keith had put his back against lance's shoulder as he read his book, making both boys blush a little. They quickly got used to the physical contact, though.

After a while of doing this, something dawned on keith. “Hey,” he said, causing lance to look at him at a weird angle, “You still have another promise. You need to tell me what you were gonna say to me on your hologram message.”

Lance's heart immediately sunk. He didn’t want to tell keith at all, and the only reason he even thought about saying it before is because he thought that was the last time he’d ever talk to keith. He thought about them hanging out right now, being comfortable in each other's company. He didn’t want that to be ruined. He didn’t want this moment to be spoiled, inevitable as it was. 

With almost sad eyes, lance replied. “I’ll tell you later, i promise. Sometime soon.” It was obvious keith wanted to argue, but he didn't say anything, and just went back to reading his book. Nervousness and dread filled lances stomach as he thought of what would happen when he told keith. He didn’t lie, lance would tell keith soon, but until then, he’ll try and enjoy the friendship as much as he can before he tears them apart. Before he could let himself get too sad, lance had an idea. “Come with me.”

“What are we doing?” keith questioned, already putting his book down. 

After thinking for a second, lance hit keith with the double finger guns and said “We’re going to celebrate the good ol’ days.”

“Okay, that’s vague. I’m in.” Lance him a wide smile, grabbed his cane, and started walking. 

After a minute of walking, keith knew they were going to the kitchen, and he had a sneaking suspicion why. His suspicion was proved true when lance grabbed two mugs when they reached their destination. He gave a slight laugh out of nostalgia, and lance replied with an equally as enthusiastic smile. 

As lance brewed up hot chocolate, keith's mind was occupied by thoughts. He thought about the conversation they had, about how keith felt so guilty. He had told lance all of his feelings and ranted for a good half hour about every thought that had been eating him up for so long. Lance listened and understood, and somehow he made keith have a totally different outlook by only saying a few sentences. Keith noticed a significant difference in him, how the weight that used to crush him had almost completely disappeared. He was so nervous that lance would yell at and shun keith once he knew the whole story about it being more or less his fault for lance getting left behind on the galra ship. Even with a small part of his mind telling him that lance wouldn’t get mad, it was unable to convince the rest of his mind. 

But when lance started talking about how it didn’t even occur to him to blame keith, keith could’ve, and almost, started crying. Lance had told him exactly what he needed to hear, and helped him beyond what he could’ve expected. Keith thought about how lance had equally ranted about how he was doing. Keith hoped he could help lance as much as he had helped keith, but he knew he couldn’t. Lance was right, all keith had to do was be there for him, which he definitely was. No one could make lance get over everything that happened on the galra ship, but it didn't mean he had to be alone as he got through it. 

Keith was pulled out of his own thoughts as he heard the familiar sound of a spoon stirring something in the mug. Lance handed keith his mug and said “Shall we?” He followed lance as he undoubtedly made his way to the large star room with all the couches and blankets. Keith silently appreciated lance's ability to not spill a drop of his hot chocolate while walking with a cane. 

Both of the boys hearts jumped a bit at the sight of the familiar room. Lance remembered his and keith's legs touching under the blanket as they fell asleep. Keith remembered that as well, along with the fresher memory of all his friends cuddled next to each other when none of them wanted to be alone in lance's absence.

Keith and lance sat on the floor, with their backs against the bottom of the large couch in the middle of the room. They faced the one wall that was entirely window, the stars and constellations giving the dark room minimal light. The two of them sat right next to each other, their legs touching again as they shared a blanket. Their hot chocolates were next to them. 

“I love this room,” Lance said. 

“Same,” Keith relied, “It has a good vibe to it.”

“And doesn’t it always smell like lavender in here?” 

Keiths eyes widened. “Oh my god, it does.”

Lance gave a hearty laugh at his friends realization. He wasn’t sure if it was a conscious decision, but he leaned towards keith a bit so their shoulders playfully touched for a few seconds. Both of them blushed, and both hoped that the darkness in the room would cover it. 

For a while, the room was only filled by the sounds of sips of hot chocolate. The atmosphere in the room was perfect. It was warm, light, and comfortable. Lance had a strong urge to rest his head on keith's shoulder, which was right next to him. Keith had a strong urge to put his arm around lance. They didn’t listen to the urges, though, even though the other would be overjoyed if they had followed through.

Lance looked over at keith and decided it was the right time to ask a question he’d been pondering for a while. “At the galra ship… why did you get yourself shot? Why did you save me?”

Keith wasn’t surprised by the question, but he didn't have an immediate answer. He answered after thinking it through a bit. “We were so close to having you back on the castle, safe and sound, and when i saw cultra with her gun up to you, i felt sort of angry. I felt like you’ve been through enough and i just wanted you to be alive, and on the castle.” Lance stared out in front of him, his eyebrows slightly furrowed in an unreadable emotion. He looked maybe… sad? “Also, i just wanted the fame of saving you,” keith joked to try and break the tension. 

Lance chuckled a bit, which made keith's heart go mad, but immediately he got that distant look again. He didn’t say anything, but keith could tell he was just thinking really hard, no doubt trying to sort out all the emotions he had into words. He sighed a bit and closed his eyes, then opened them and looked at keith. “Did you think about how i would have felt if you had died? I would feel the same way. We were so close to getting back to the castle, but you had to be a hero. You don’t even know how i’d feel if i… if i lost you.” Lance looked down, breaking eye contact with Keith.

There was silence for a few seconds. “I do know how you’d feel,” Keith said, making lance's head turn fast to face him, “I already lost you once.” He said it as almost a whisper, a statement of raw emotion. 

They both looked into eachothers eyes again. It was different this time, different from the kitchen and the control room. This time, they were reading something more than their physical features. They were reading each other's pain, their feelings. It was like an entire book was hidden in their eyes and they couldn’t look away. They were so close they could hear each other's breath, almost feel the other's heart racing. The whole world disappeared around them. 

There it was again, that magnet. As if a force from above was bringing them together. They got closer, their eyes still reading each other. The feeling of the moment was indescribable, it was memorable. It’s one of the things you can only understand if you’ve experienced it. They were so close, legs still touching, blanket still covering both of them. 

This time, no one interrupted them. Neither one of the boys said anything. They let the universe do its work, their eyes closed, and they were together. Lips against lips. It started off slow, like testing the waters, but it soon became so much more. It was emotion beyond words. It was an unforgettable kiss. At the way they were angled, their cheeks were slightly touching. They were so close. Fireworks exploded in their minds, they couldn’t process anything but the two of them, and their lips together. 

Just as they started to speed up and get into a deeper kiss, lance broke it off suddenly. A large part of his mind didn’t want to stop. Infact, that was the last thing he wanted to do. But there was something nagging him, he had to stop. He jumped back and was on his knees now, a feet or two away from keith.

Keith looked up at lance with eyes wide, eyebrows slightly raised, mouth open a bit, as if he couldn’t comprehend what happened. Not being able to stop himself, keith babled. “That uhh i-i that um-”

So many emotions raced around lance, there was even sadness there. He knew what he had to say, but he barely even thought about it before he actually spoke. “I love you!” He said, interrupting keith and making him go silent. He said it almost angrily. “That’s what i was going to tell you on my hologram message. I- i love you. More than friends, like romantically.” Tears rolled down his cheeks, and he didn’t know why at all. He felt so sad, and it killed him. Probably because he knew keith didn’t feel the same way. Lance thought back to what keith had said in lance's dream, ‘you’re a fool to think i could ever like you as more than a friend’. He didn’t know why he had kissed lance back. “I just couldn’t tell you because i know you don’t like me back, and it would have just caused you pain. I’m- i’m sorry.” 

Keith was totally in shock. All of this was new. He couldn’t process the fact that he and lance had a breathtaking kiss, and he was even more taken back by lances tearful confession. As he talked, his face was a pure vision of pain and sadness. It was so different from the guy who cheerfully made him hot chocolate only a few minutes ago. Looking at lance's face caused something to break in keith. There was a cold feeling in his chest, and it was because he couldn’t stand to see lance so contorted in a state of emotion. 

Lance had stopped talking and was just sitting on his knees, his eyebrows twitching slightly as he tried to avoid eye contact with keith. His lips were slightly red from the kissing. “You… you love me?” Keith said, bewildered. 

Lance nodded. “I realized when i was on the galra ship. I’m sorry, i just messed up our entire friendship, it’s fine if you don’t like me back. We shouldn’t have kisse-”

The last part of his sentence was cut off by keith. He had gotten up, walked over to lance and pulled him off his knees and too his feet. Without any time to spare, keith put his hand behind lance's neck and pulled him in. For a few seconds, lance was too stunned to kiss back, but when he did, it was even more emotional than the first kiss. 

It was desperate and wanting. They kissed like it was the last thing they’d ever do. Lance brought his hand up and cupped keith's cheek, keith moved his hands from lances neck to his waist, pulling him in closer. They only separated long enough to get air, which was only sharp gasps over each other's lips. It was the most mindblowing thing both of them have ever experienced. 

When they finally separated, keith moved his hand to cradle lances cheek. He pressed into keith's touch. “I’d be crazy not to like you back,” Keith told him. 

Lances expression changed from ‘totally stunned’ to ‘the happiest you’ll ever see someone’ in only a few seconds. He started laughing and wiping away the leftover tears on his face. Keith started laughing. Soon enough, still standing close together, they were just giggling like the kids they were. There had been so much emotion in a short amount of time, they both still could barely comprehend all that had just gone on. “What, so are we like, a couple now?” Lance asked skeptically. 

Keith felt his face heat up in a red blush. “Yeah! I mean i-if you you want t-”

“I want to,” He replied. They both smiled at each other, and could have stayed like that forever. “Hey, uh, where is everyone?”

“They left to go follow a lead on pidges family.”

“So there’s no one here… wanna make out some more?”

“Yeah, i really do.”

*****************

A few days went on uneventfully. Keith was pretty much fully healed and was finished with his healing sessions. Lance still had lots to go, but he and keith had gotten into a new sort of routine. Pidge, hunk, shiro and their two altean hosts were busy with their individual work on the castle, which left the red and blue paladins working on the remainders of distress signal organization. Keith would wait for lance to wake up from the healing pods (which included sometimes calming him down after a bad dream, which were recurring) and they'd get some lunch together. They’de then go down to the control room and start on their job. It usually lasted a few hours and would have been boring without each other's presence there. They even started making games with it, like racing to see who could organize the fastest. 

Since their time in the star room, the two of them had been dating in secret. It started off as mildly awkward, but eventually they got more comfortable in each other's presence. They made a pact to keep their relationship totally secret from the rest of the team, which was hard as they all lived together. Both of them would admit that it actually was fun to sneak around, though. They’d get as much food as they could from the kitchens and have little picnics on the floors of one of their rooms, they’d give quick smooches in doorways and behind corners, they’d hold hands under the dining room table, keith even had to zip up his jacket all the way to hide a hickey from the team. It was good hearted fun.

The team would often go on diplomatic missions to other planets to see what needed fixing after zarkons fall. They didn’t let lance go with them, to his dismay. “I can’t go, but keith can?” he’d complain. 

“Keith doesn’t need a cane to walk,” Shiro pointed out gently.

Lance opened his mouth to argue, but all that came out was a deep sigh as he didn’t have a comeback. “Fine. i’ll just stay on the ship, alone, with nothing to do.”

Keith and Lance would find excuses to be alone before these missions, and would actually rehearse scenarios.

“Keith,” lance called from the other room, “You forgot a plate of your armor.”

“Oh, right.” Keith would run into the room lance was in, grab his armor he ‘forgot’ to take, and he’d give lance a few quick smooches. 

“Be safe,” lance would whisper. 

“I always am.”

“Yeah, right.” lance would give keith one last kiss and send him off .

Once keith was back in his lion and on his way to the planet with the others, pidge piped up. “What took you so long?”

“Oh, uh, just lance being a jerk,” He replied in a hopefully believable voice. 

“Alright.” Pidge turned her comm with keith off and turned on a private connection with hunk. “I told you they got together, pay up,” she told him smugly.

“Hey wait,” Hunk said back, “We haven't actually caught them together. I need proof.”

“Ugh, fine.”

Meanwhile, lance was back at the ship with nothing to do. He wanted to clean up the ship a bit, but every time he would bend down to pick something up he was rewarded with excruciating pain, so that was out. Keith and him had finished organizing the distress signals for the day, and most of the others chores had been completed. He settled on making a big dinner for when the team got back.

Lance started cooking and he let his thoughts take him away. He was still so shocked by the fact that he and keith were actually together. Hell, he was still shocked from their first kiss and that was days ago. Despite the injuries and exclusions from the missions, he was still the happiest he’s been in a long long time. 

When he was in the galra ship, he tried to ignore questions like “what if we actually got together?” and “What if he liked me?” but now he didn’t have to ponder over the ‘what if's because all of them actually happened. He actually got to kiss keith until his lips were sore, he actually got to take naps with his head resting on keith's shoulder. The things he imagined would only happen in his imagination, are actually happening. The relationship even helped him take his mind off of his injuries and everything.

Lance wondered how long they could keep it secret, but he knew they couldn’t keep it up forever. As much fun as it was sneaking around, he did wish he could walk with keith around the castle and actually hold hands with him. The team would probably be fine with them dating, but lance just didn’t want things to get weird around the castle, or have the team think differently of him. He wasn’t worried because him and keith were two guys, he knew the team wouldn’t care, His fear was change. He didn’t want the dynamics of the team to get messed up or have everyone treat keith and him differently. These thoughts had been troubling Lance ever since he and keith started dating, but he tried not to let thoughts of the future interrupt what they had, 

He wondered if hunk and pidge noticed the difference in his mood (they could). Lance had certain giveaways when he was feeling extra happy. He would absent mindedly hum when doing chores and what not, his shiny hair and clear skin showed that he’d take extra good care of himself when in a good mood, and his jokes and smiles were so much richer and genuine, as they’re often forced when in a bad mood. Lance was doing all of these things, and it was obvious he was absolutely overjoyed.

Soon after everything was cooked and ready, the castle alerted lance of the hangar door opening. He grabbed his cane and went down there as fast as he could to great all of them. “How’d it go?” He asked them eagerly as they got out of their lions. 

“Good!” Hunk said. 

“We got two more civilizations to join the voltron alliance, and we also got some information on where my brother may be.” Pidge said to specify.

“Nice!” lance said, giving hunk and pidge a firm pat on the back. “I made you guys a huge dinner, so i hope you’re hungry.”

Keith took off his helmet dramatically, his hair still surprisingly looking gorgeous. Lance could have died from just that, but then keith looked him in the eye and with a little flirt said “I'm starving, i bet it tastes great.”

Lance had to actually turn away from the others because he was blushing so hard. He cleared his throat and told them to go to the kitchen when they got dressed. Lance made eye contact with keith and they both knew what to do. 

While keith took the route everyone else was, lance took a different path to get to a secluded corner of the castle they met at a lot. Keith managed to slip away from the rest of the team and meet lance there.

“Hey,” lance said with a smile when keith got there, putting his arms behind keith's neck. “I missed you.”

“I was only gone for a few hours.”

“Still.”

“You’re so soppy, it’s gross,” Keith said with a small smile.

“You love it.” Lance pulled him in and they had a deep but soft kiss. Well, more of a makeout. Lance had told keith how he’s been swimming for a long time and he’s gotten good at holding his breath, which was something keith really appreciated when they kissed for as long as this. 

Kissing seemed to be their specialty, they did it whenever they could. Each one felt familiar and comfortable, but also completely new. It made it seem like nothing around them mattered, it was only the two of them. Lance wouldn’t have pegged keith for a good kisser, but he was actually amazing at it.

Lance had no idea how long they were kissing (It was a long time) but then he heard a voice. “Well, look what we have here!” Pidges voice sounded. 

Lance slightly bit keith's lip, jumped two feet in the air, and was frantically looking around to see what happened. Keith activated his beyard and was pointing it at the spot where the noise sounded. Pidge was standing behind them with a smile on her face and her arms folded smugly. Hunk was next to her, but he looked disappointed. 

“Oh!” Lance said, talking too loudly. “Heeeeyy, pidge, hunk! What are you guys looking at?” Lance looked behind him and faked shock. “Keith! When did you get there, man?”

Keith was still pointing his sword in front of him, his eyes wide in shock. “Uhhhhhh. Lance was just, uh, inspecting my armor.” The two of them continued to spout out contradicting stories for why they were together, meanwhile pidge and hunk had the same expressions on and didn’t move at all. 

Lance sighed. “You guys aren’t buying a second of this, are you?”

“Nope!” Pidge said enthusiastically. “You guys were kissing.” Lance grunted in defeat. “Pay up, hunk!” 

“Wait, what?” keith asked. 

Hunk scoffed and handed 30 GAC over to pidge. “We may or may not have had a bet on if you two would get together,” He grunted. 

“Where we that obvious?” 

“Totally,” pidge said. 

“Listen,” Lance said desperately, “You can’t tell everyone else, especially shiro.”

“We won’t tell,” hunk promised, “But i think you should tell him.”

“Nope, never.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, good.” lance grabbed hunk and pidge and started walking away with them, leaving his cane and keith in the corner. With each step lance winced a bit from the dull pain.

“Where are you taking us?” pidge asked. 

“To your rooms so you guys can get dressed and stop drilling me and keith.”

“Talking about keith… really? Out of all the people, you date keith?” Pidge said. 

“There are like six other people on this ship. Shiro and Coran are waaay too old, alluras obviously not interested, and i'm not gonna date one of you too, so yes i’m dating keith. He’s funny and caring and a really good kisser so it’s pretty much as good as it gets.” 

“Who made the first move?” Hunk asked. 

“It was mutual, kinda.”

“Kinda?”

“Well we both kissed, then i kinda told him i loved him weirdly and i was all convinced he didn’t like me, but then he kissed me again.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet,” Hunk said.

“You told him you love him? Damn,” Pidge exclaimed. 

“Okay, it was the heat of the moment kinda thing,” Lance said. They got to the dorm room hallway. “Go get dressed, stop being annoying, and go to the kitchen.” He sped walked away from them and turned around, going back for keith. 

Lance found him in the same spot they left him, his beyard still activated and shock written on his face. “What just happened?” Keith asked. 

“We’ve been found out,” lance said grouchily, “That’s what happened. You don’t think they’ll tell shiro, do you?”

Keith deactivated his bayard, his sword returning to the handheld shape. “I don’t think they will, they said they wouldn’t.” he took a deep breath. “I think maybe… we should tell him, though. Like now.”

Lance's heart fell. “Why?” he asked.

“Because it’s getting tiring to sneak around all the time. And i think he has the right to know. He won’t get mad or anything.”

Lance crossed his arms. “I guess,” he mumbled. 

“What’s wrong?” keith said with a raised eyebrow.

Lance took a deep breath and looked up at keith. He started telling him all the things he was thinking about earlier when he was making dinner. He told him about his fear of change and all the relationships in the castle getting messed up. He told him all the stuff he thought he wouldn’t have to deal with now, as they planned to keep the relationship secret, like, forever. Keith listened to him and nodded every once and awhile. By the end of his explanation he felt slightly wiped out, emotionally. 

Keith spoke up when lance finished talking. “I get where you’re coming from, because i feel the same way. But shiro won't make it weird, he’ll probably be glad we told him. Just because we’re… a thing… doesn’t mean everything's gonna change completely. Will pidge give us a grin and a thumbs-up if we stand close to each other? Yes. Will hunk go ‘awww’ if we ever do anything affectionate in front of him? Yes. Will shiro keep a slightly closer eye on us when we are alone together? Yes. But that is all that will change, i promise you that.”

Lance was still feeling slightly unsure, but talking to keith made him feel better about it all. He gave keith a small smile. “Yeah, i guess.”

“Also,” keith added, putting his hands on lances shoulders, “won't it be nice to be able to actually hug and stuff without having to do an intense and thorough check to see if anyone’s near by?”

“That would be nice,” lance said. “Okay. we’ll tell him, coran, and Allura at dinner, which we’re late to.”

“Good. Although, i don’t really know if people date on altea, so they might not even get what we’re telling them. Hopefully ‘dating’ isn’t an altean term for like, double suicide or something.”

Lance laughed and kissed keith on the cheek. “You are a great boyfriend.” 

Keiths heart did a milion jumps at hearing lance call him his boyfriend, which he hadn’t done before now. “Uhh, yeah, uh you too,” He managed to get out. 

Lance scoffed at how flustered keith was, and kissed him long on the lips this time. “Go get dressed, you’re stinky.” He grabbed his cane and went to the kitchens as keith made his way to his room to change out of his paladin armor. 

When he got there, his team had started digging in the plentiful assortment of food. Lance took his seat and started shoveling food onto his plate. His heart was beating rapidly, his stomach was in knots at the thought of confessing to shiro and their altean hosts. 

“What took you so long? And where’s keith?” Shiro asked innocently. 

Lances fork stopped in midair as he pondered how to answer. Should he tell the truth, as he was going to tell shiro anyway, or should he lie and wait for keith to get here? He settled for somewhere in the middle. “Uh, i think keith’s getting dressed,” He said, answering only half of the question. 

Pidge gave him a devious wink from across the table. Shiro seemed confused, but he didn’t say anything. A minute or two later, keith arrived and took his designated seat next to lance, who almost stood up to give him a kiss on the cheek from instinct. He settled for giving him a small, warm smile, to which keith returned. “Hey,” he said to the team. The team replied in various greetings.

They all talked and ate for a while, complimenting lance on his cooking. It was a lighthearted dinner with lots of jokes and a great atmosphere. It radiated family and made lance feel safe and watched over. These were the kinds of meals he had missed while on cultras ship.

After a while, forks lay ignored beside plates and everyone was mostly done eating. Everyone was happy and in a good mood. Keith side eyed lance to say this-is-the-time. Lance nodded back. The last time he was this nervous was when he was opening his Garrison acceptance letter. 

“So, shiro,” Lance began, each word causing his stomach to twist and turn. He looked at pidge and hunk, who gave lance little encouraging nods. Shiro looked up, and lance began talking. “Uhh me and keith have been secretly dating for like a week also can you pass the bread?” Lance said, words spitting out of his mouth in rapid fire, some of the them not even understandable

“Yeah, sure,” shiro said, picking up the bread basket. His hand stopped in mid air and his eyes grew wide. “Wait, what?” lance and keith just sat there with an awkward look on their faces. “You’re- you two are-?” Shiro kept stuttering a bit and pointing at lance and keith. Hunk and pidge were trying not to laugh. “...what?” Shiro said, finally.

“Lance and i have kind of… been dating. For about a week now.” It was exactly what lance had said, but keith didn’t really know what else to say. 

“Oh,” shiro said in a weird grunt. Lance and keith exchanged looks. 

“It’s true,” Pidge said. Lance knew that whatever she was about to say wouldn’t be very helpful. “We saw them making out in a corner like ten minutes ago.”

Shiro had taken a sip of space juice, but started choking when he heard pidge. 

“They were really going to town,” Hunk added. Shiro started coughing. 

“Uh, not helpful, guys,” lance said through gritted teeth. 

After a moment of coughing up the remainder of juice in his lungs, shiro seemed shocked, but a bit more rooted. “How did it start?” He asked. His voice wasn’t scolding or angry, it sounded more like he was amazed, like he was asking a magician how they did a trick.

“It just sort of… did. It was mutual.” Lance wasn’t very keen on announcing how they had made out for at least an hour that night. 

“And it’s actually… working out? You guys are happy?” shiro asked. 

Keith gave lance a fond smile. “yeah.” 

Shiro seemed to have recovered from the shock and was giving the two of them a warm smile. “Okay, that’s all that matters. I’m fine with it, and i'm glad you shared with me. But can we, uh, keep the making out in corners to a minimum?”

“Your request is noted, but highly unlikely,” Lance said. 

“It couldn’t hurt to ask,” Shiro said, raising his shoulders in defeat. 

Lance looked over to allura, who had been respectfully quiet during the conversation. “Sorry princess,” he started, “I don’t want to break your heart, but i’m officially off the menu.”

“That’s more than okay by me,” She replied.

Everyone finished eating what little they had left on their plate, and the rest of dinner was extremely light hearted. There wasn’t any sign of awkwardness, and lance and keith slowly started to be more affectionate in front of the others. They'd bump their shoulders together playfully, laugh too hard at each other's jokes, and by the end of the dinner, lance's head was rested on keith's shoulder. Some of the others did double takes at the physical touches, as they were used to the two boys staying a few feet away from eachother at all times. They got used to it by the end of dinner.

Keith volunteered to help lance with the dishes once everyone started piling out of the kitchen. They worked together on the dishes side by side while having pleasant conversations. The kitchen was a little dark from the castle going into night mode, but it was overall a very soothing atmosphere.

“So…” Lance started, “There may be a small, tiny, chance that you were right about telling shiro.”

Keith gave lance a little smile. “When have i ever been wrong?”

“Oh, so many times,” Lance said back smiling. 

“Shut up!” Keith said with no anger in his voice.

When lance looked over at him, he was reminded of how much he cared about him. He thought about how close they had gotten after losing shiro, and how they got even more comfortable and close when they started dating. They’d only been together a few days, but lance felt like he could trust keith with his life. He thought back to their old rivalry, and how it was fueled purely on lances desire to prove himself. He found himself wondering, if he and keith hadn’t been rivals at the garrison, would they have gotten together sooner? Or maybe they wouldn’t have gotten together at all. Lance tried to push the thoughts out of his mind, because the only thing that mattered was that they were together now. 

Lance was about to tell keith how much he cares about him, but keith, who seemed to have an internal monologue much like the one lance just had, beat him to it. “I’m sorry that i was always such a jerk to you,” Keith started, staring at the dish he was cleaning. “After shiro disappeared, i started to notice how much i enjoyed you being here on the ship. You make everything brighter around here, including me, and that became super obvious when you got left on culturas ship. I think that’s when i started to notice i liked you, more than a friend. And these past few days have just shown me how much i like- it uh- it’s shown me how much i-i love you.”

Lance immediately stopped washing his dish and his head turned to look at keith, who had a large blush on his cheeks and was still staring at the dish in his hand. Lance could’ve cried, he actually had to try hard not to. He gave keith a large, warm smile. “Funny,” He said, his voice quieter than normal, “I was just about to say the same thing.”

It was Keith's turn to peer his eyes away from the dish and look at lance. They both had wide smiles on their face. Keith put down the dish in his hand, and wrapped his gloved arms around lances neck. Lance didn’t care that he was getting water on his shirt collar. They kissed deeply, savoring every second of it. They could’ve kept going for a long time, until they heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. Shiro was standing in the kitchen, an eyebrow raised and his arms folded. Keith quickly retracted his arms away from lance and they backed up a bit.

“Oh, hey shiro,” Lance said with a small blush on his cheeks. “When’d you get there?” Keith was laughing a bit and bumped his shoulder into lance's, playfully. 

“I was just getting some water,” Shiro said, walking to the fridge while maintaining eye contact with them. 

“Yeah i’m… a fan of water, as well,” Lance said awkwardly. 

He wanted to say something to shiro, but he didn’t know what. Fortunately, keith took over. “Thanks, for uh, understanding,” He told shiro.

On the way back from the fridge, shiro gave them a warm smile. “Like i said, as long as you guys are happy, i am. I have to say, though, i totally didn’t see that coming.”

“You didn’t?” Lance asked, feeling more comfortable. “Apparently pidge and hunk took bets on us.”

“Who won?”

“Pidge.”

“Of course,” Shiro said with a playful smile. “I’ll get out of your hair now, night.” 

They exchanged ‘goodnights’ with shiro and he went back to his room, leaving the two boys alone. Lance put his head on keith's shoulder comfortably as they finished the last of the dishes in silence.

Once all the dishes were clean and put away, they took their gloves off and walked to the dorm hallway. They got to Lance's hallway and keith was about to kiss him goodnight, but lance spoke up. “Can i uh, sleep in your room tonight?” He said with a small blush. He didn’t want to tell keith why, but he did anyway. “I’ve kinda been having bad dreams the past few nights and i can’t sleep well.”

Keith silently cursed himself for not have noticing lances eyebags earlier, but he tried not to dwell on it. He took lance's hand and gave him a smile. “Of course.” 

“Rock, paper, scissors on who gets to be the big spoon?” Lance asked once they arrived at keiths room. 

“You’re on. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!” Keith drew rock while lance drew scissors. “I win.”

“Fine by me,” Lance said with a smirk. “If i’m gonna be honest, i like being the little spoon.”

Keith only changed his shirt, and lance shamelessly checked him out the entire time his torso was shown. He noted the small scar near his rib cage where the bullet had entered. 

“How are you feeling? Are you all healed up?” Lance asked. 

“Yeah, i feel pretty much back to normal now,” keith answered, pulling his pajama shirt over his head. “How about you?”

Lance inhaled sharply. “I’m… getting there. I think i’ll be off the cane soon, which is great. My entire stomach area kinda just throbs all the time, though. And i mean, i could do without all the… scars,” He said, dramatically gesturing to his chest and face. Keith looked concerned. “But i’m getting better!” he tried to throw in reassuringly. 

Soon enough, they were settled on keith's too-small bed, the room dark and the blankets over them comfortable. Keiths head lay on lance's shoulder and his hands were wrapped around his waist, but he was careful not to touch the two wounds around that area.

They were pressed together tightly and warmly, though they didn't really have a choice, lance was almost hanging off the side of the bed. Part of the reason lance was still even on the bed was because of keith, who was holding lance as tight as possible. Keith tried to hide it at first, but he was even clingier than lance. At any opportunity he got, he’d be holding hands with, kissing, or hugging his boyfriend. He was all over him, which was something lance enjoyed immensely. 

Lances opinion of keith had changed so much from the garrison. Keith, to lance, started off as an emo, distant, hot headed mess. He thought of him as all brooding and no emotion. But when he started to care for lance during the post-shiro disappearance, lance started to see that he was more than that. Especially now that they were dating. Keith showed himself to be a clingy, passionate, still kinda emo guy. 

He made lance feel feel things he never had before. He’s had plenty of relationships, but most of them had been from lances desire of love, his desperation for someone to love. Lance would crave for someone to care for him no matter what. He wanted someone to put all his faith in, to cherish and protect. He wanted someone to laugh with and show off to his friends. He simply wanted love. That’s why his relationships never worked out, because all of them were forced. There was no spark, no connection. Maybe they would be happy together for a month or two, but it would become evident to both of them that there wasn’t anything between them. Lance had been through relationship after relationship like that, and he never stopped. Flirting with everyone in a one mile radius? There it was.

But with keith, he finally felt that spark. For the first time, he knew what an unforced, natural connection felt like. That was why the relationship meant so much to him. He had his doubts though. At first, he tried not to be too hands on with keith, he tried to take it slow just in case this was another idolized relationship he was forcing. But, once keith had shown how clingy he was, that all melted away. His doubts subsided a bit, he knew the relationship wasn't one sided, he knew it was real. 

Lance didn’t know if keith was asleep, but it didn’t make a difference. “I love you,” He told him in a gently whisper. 

Keith was most likely half asleep, as he didn’t say anything back, but made a little groan sound and brought his arms tighter around lance. Lance chuckled and tried his best to turn his head and kiss keith on the cheek.

Feeling content and whole, lance closed his eyes, dug his head securely against keiths, and went to sleep.  
__________

“Pidge, can you go wake up lance and keith?” Shiro asked in the morning, breakfast being placed on the table. 

“Fine,” she turned to hunk. “Come with me?”

“Why?”

“What if they’re in the hall like making out again? I need moral support,” she exclaimed. Shiro tried to hide a smile .

The two of them made their way to the dorm hallway and entered lance's room. It was empty. Hunk walked inside and placed the back of his hand on the bed. “It’s cold,” He said in a mock detective voice, to which pidge laughed at. 

They arrived at keith room. “Be prepared, hunk,” pidge warned. “When we walk into this room, we are most likely going to be greeted with two naked boys doing god knows what. Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

Hunk scoffed and entered the room, pidge on his tail. Keith his arms coiled tightly around lance, who slept at his side. The blankets were mostly bundled at lances side. Hunk guessed that lance had fell asleep facing away from keith, but rolled over during the night so they were facing each other. His face was pressed firmly into the nape of keiths neck and his left leg was on top of keiths body, pressing them closer together. 

Pidge faked a gag. “I would prefered to see them naked, honestly.” 

“Oh c’mon!” hunk exclaimed in a loud whisper. “You can’t deny that they’re at least a little cute.”

“Maybe just a tiny bit cute. We still have to wake them, though.” She walked closer to the bed And flicked lance hard in the arm. “Wake up!”

Lance's eyes opened and he groaned a bit. He turned to face away from keith again and to face hunk and pidge. “Uhh, wassup?” He said in a groggy voice filled with sleep. Keith was still sleeping, and his arms were still fastened tightly around lance. 

“Hunk made breakfast and shiro wants you two up. Lance, you have to be in the healing pod soon and your cuddle buddy needs to be up for training.”

A small blush found its way to lance's face as he woke up a bit more. “Okay, give us five minutes.” 

Pidge turned and left the room. Hunk was still in the doorway and looked at lance and keith together in the bed. “Awww,” He said, unable to resist. Lance scoffed playfully and hunk left the room. 

Lance twisted his body again to look at keith. His hair was messed up and his mouth hung open slightly. “Hey,” Lance said gently, shaking him a little bit. 

“What?” keith said, waking up sharply and looking a bit disoriented. Lance had to fight back a laugh. 

“We have to get up, training and breakfast.”

Keith grunted in displeasure, which lance agreed with. They stayed in bed together for a few more minutes, but lance managed to pry himself free of keiths grasp and get up. He tried smoothing out his hair the best he could and trying to at least look presentable. His clothes were a bit creased from sleeping in them, and he had a few awkward lines on his face from having his head pressed against keiths neck and shirt. 

“C’mon, get up,” Lance said to keith, who had fallen asleep again. He eventually got him up on his feet. He pressed a little kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I’ll be in the dining room. Don’t be too long.”

Keith joined the rest of them a few minutes later, after everyone had started eating. He slumped into the chair, still slightly disoriented from sleep, and piled food onto his plate. 

Lance was almost finished with his first pancake when he looked up to see pidge grinning at him mischievously. Oh no, he thought. 

“Hey, shiro,” She said, not breaking eye contact with lance, who was rapidly shaking his head to tell her ‘shut up’. “Keith and lance were sleeping in the same bed! Isn’t that interesting!”

Lance grimaced as he saw dad mode being activated in shiro. “Oh i hate you so much,” Lance growled to pidge. 

“You were what?” Shiro asked. 

“Come on, what’s the big deal?” Lance exclaimed, grumpy with sleep. 

“Can you guys just… sleep in your own rooms,” Shiro said while rubbing his head a bit, obviously not wanting to deal with it. 

Lance exhaled loudly and looked at shiro with eyes he hoped would relay the message. In a quieter voice, lance spoke so only shiro could hear him. “It’s because of the nightmares i’ve been having. I haven't had a decent sleep in a week and a half, until now.”

Shiro met his eyes and slowly noded. “Okay, it’s fine, then.”

Lance gave him an appreciative smile. “As for you, pidge, what the hell, man?”

“I told you i’d get you back for kicking me in the face. Also, remember that one time you ratted me out to shiro for breaking that vase in the lounge? Payback.”

“That was at least two months ago.”

“Payback is payback.”

“Hey, keith!” Hunk shouted suddenly. Lance looked over and saw that keith was in a full on sleep trance. His fork was in his mouth and he was just staring at the wall. 

Lance couldn’t help but laugh and he clapped his hands in front of keiths face. “Uh, what?” Keith said, taking his fork out of his mouth and looking at lance who was laughing even harder now. 

“Nice hair,” hunk snorted at keith sarcastically. His hair was sticking up all over the place and pressed down in a few spots. “It’s a good look.”

“Very cute,” Lance commented. 

Keith was finally starting to wake up. “I'm not cute,” he growled, “I'm scary.”

“Oh yeah, sure. By the way you literally didn’t let go of me for a second last night, mr. Scary guy. You also drooled a bit.”

The day went on pretty uneventfully. Lance was in the healing pod for a while and had a dream about his family and how they think lance is dead. It showed his family moving on and forgetting about him, thinking he died from some stupid and rebellious break out from the garrison. He woke up from the pod feeling bitter and jumpy, but keith managed to calm him down, as per usual. The two worked on the organization of distress signals. They sat a bit closer than they usually do, realizing that it didn’t matter if someone saw them together. They both enjoyed that freedom.

Shiro told the team that he made a list of a few planets that sent out more than one distress signal over the years, information he gathered from the organization the two boys did. He wanted to go on a mission to some of them, to see if they could assist them in anything.

“Can i go?” Lance asked, the boredom of being hauled up in the castle eating away at him.

“I don’t know, lance,” Shiro said, uneasy. “You still have a lot of healing to do.”

“Allura said i don’t need the cane anymore! She also lowered my healing sessions from 4 hours to 2. I’ll be fine, if anything happens i'll let you all handle it.”

Shiro inhaled sharply and squinted. “Okay, fine. But be careful.”

“Haha! Yes!” Lance exclaimed, punching the air forcefully. 

Shiro told them they’d leave the next day. For the remainder of the day, the team hung out together. They had a pleasant dinner together, then huddled together in the lounge for a movie night. An altean movie was projected onto one of the walls, but the paladins didn’t understand a word of it due to not speaking the language. They settled for making up their own dialogue and characters. 

“Christopher! You don’t understand!” Lance said in a girly voice as the woman on the screen spoke. “The baby…. It isn’t yours. It’s your father’s! Your dad is the father of my child!”

The rest of the team fake gasped “Diana, how could you!” Pidge said in a deep voice as the man spoke. 

“You know i have a weakness for dads! Don’t kinkshame me!” Lance commented as the girl spoke again. Keiths head was on his lap as he played with his hair. At first, the two of them were sceptical about touching in front of the group, but like at dinner last night, they eventually got used to it and shamelessly cuddled (which earned an ‘awww’ from hunk). 

A new character burst into the scene and yelled something to the man. “Christopher, come quick! Some guy started screaming the decleration of independance in the hall and won't stop!” The man exited the room and the new character entered it. He strolled up to the character they named diana and caressed her cheek. 

“Damn, diana is getting all the action,” Pidge spoke in her normal voice. 

“Baby, you’re mine tonight,” Keith voiced to lance's character. 

“Oh, brad!” Lance voiced. His character started to kiss brad deeply, and lance responded by leaning down and kissing keith, to get into character, you know? 

“Aw come on guys, not in front of the baby!” Pidge told them when she noticed, dramatically pointing to hunk. 

“I’m older than you,” hunk protested. 

“Are you, though?”

“Dude i’m like two full years older than you, it’s a known fact!”

“That’s what you think.”

As hunk and pidge bickered, lance and keith continued to kiss (They’ve been at it for like two minutes. Their friends wondered how they could hold their breath that long). Meanwhile, shiro just looked downright stressed. Overall, it was a really fun night.

Once the movie was over, Lance went to keiths room with him. It seemed to be an unspoken agreement that lance would stay there for now on, or until he thought he could manage to sleep alone. As they both entered the room, pidge and hunk entered the hallway. 

“Use protection, you two,” Pidge told them, making a large red blush apear on keith's face. 

“Goodnight,” Hunk wished them. 

The two boys slept comfortably through the night. They slept side by side under the covers, with keith's head resting on lance's chest and his arms fastened around him protectively. Lance's head was leaned towards keith's a bit, so their cheeks were pressed together. As they dozed off, keith calmingly played with lances hair. His hand then traveled down to the long scar that ran from lances ear to his chin. He shuttered a bit at the sudden contact to the scar he had been trying to ignore, and keith slightly moved his hand away. But lance relaxed against keith and the bed below them, giving keith permission to continue. It was strangely therapeutic as keith's fingers ran up and down the long scar. 

Even though they both were almost asleep, lance spoke up about something that had been on his mind for a while. “My mom is gonna be so mad when i get home?.

“Why is that?”

“I’ve been hurt a billion times here. First, i get blown into a coma after the whole bomb thing. Then i get a new scar on my forehead and a few broken ribs after the battle with zarkon. After that i fall down some stairs, which is my own fault, and sprain my stupid ankle. Don’t forget about the actual stroke i had. To top it off, i get shot in the abdomen, tortured, which gave me a fresh new batch of scars, and stabbed in the stomach. Well i stabbed myself, so i guess that’s my fault.” He sighed loudly. “When i get home, she’s gonna look at me and either get super mad at me or super mad at shiro.”

“I don’t think she’ll get mad at you.”

“She’ll probably be mad at me one second, and then caring for me the next. It’ll be like ‘oh pobrecita, are you alright? What happened? I missed you so much. What were you thinking going out there and getting yourself shot?! It was so irresponsible for you to go out there! Are you sure you’re alright? You are never leaving this house again, positivamente no. ¿entiendes?’” Lance said in an imitation of his mother, with a slight accent and his voice changing from a soft voice to an angry one with each sentence, making keith scoff. 

“Just tell her you’ve been saving the universe and she’ll understand.”

“That would probably just make her angrier. ‘What’s the universe ever done for you? Why do you have to defend it?’ she’d say. She’ll get over it eventually though. I just want to see her.”

After some silence, keith huddled closer to lance but didn't look him in the eye. “I don’t really have much to go back to after this.” Lance was surprised. Keith never talked about his family. “My mom is probably up here in space, unaware of the fact that i’m up here too. My dad… who knows. He might be dead. I doubt anyone even noticed my absence on earth.”

Lance wrapped his arm tighter around keith. “When we get back to earth, you can just come with me. I’ll take you to meet my mom, and she’ll fatten you up, gush about how cute we are together, and she’ll probably try and cut your hair. You know, mom stuff.”

Keith sighed longingly and looked at lance. “Yeah. That’d be nice.”

No one said anything after that, and instead they let each other's warmth and company lure them into a pleasant, dream free sleep.  
____________________

The next day, almost immediately after lance woke up from the healing pod, the team was ready to go on their mission. Lance felt amazing to be back in the blue lion, he felt too confined at the castle for so many days. 

Shiro had filled them in on the plan before they left. The planet they were going to first was very close to where the ice castle battle had happened. While Shiro and pidge went to a different planet, hunk, Keith and Lance went to deliver that ice queen that pidge kidnapped back to her planet. The team would then meet back on the castle of lions and regroup.

“Since this planet is probably still allied by the galra, they might not be the most welcoming, so we might have to fight a bit,” Keith told lance and hunk once they were on their way to the planet. “Lance, if combat breaks out, let hunk and I handle it. You still aren’t fully healed.”

Lance grunted in frustration. “What’s the point of going on the mission if i don’t get to contribute?”

“We’re just here to drop off the queen and leave, hopefully there won’t be any fighting so there isn’t much to contribute to.”

“Whatever,” lance muttered. “Okay.” 

“You know, It’s so cute how you guys bicker like that. Like an old married couple,” Hunk said. 

“Hunk,” Lance scolded. 

“Sorry.”

Their three lions parked about three miles away from the ice castle they had left in roubles. The queen was sedated and hunk would carry her. They'd walk about 2 and three quarters of a mile to ice castle so her people could find her, but the paladins wouldn’t have to get too close to the castle incase there were warriors. 

Most of the journey went smoothly. The three of them chatted as they carried the still sedated queen. They exchanged some old garrison stories that made lance feel both sweetly nostalgic and achingly homesick. Lance had packed small sacks like granola bars and containers of food goo. They ate as they walked and lance jokingly fed hunk a granola bar since both his arms were full. They took in the beautiful scenery of mixtures of lava and ice, but they had to be careful not to step in any lava puddles. 

They reached their destination and hunk put the ice queen down. “Do we just… leave her there?” he asked. 

Lance reached in his backpack. “Pidge made a timed flare,” he explained while setting it up near the unconscious queen. “We just put a time in it and when times up, it will send out a beam of light to get the people's attention. That way we will be back at our lions by the time it goes off so they won’t even see us. Easy peasy.”

Lance set the timer for one hour and the three started walking back to their lions. He wouldn’t admit it to the others, but so much walking was starting to make his core hurt a bit. He had only gotten off the cane a day ago and he was still adjusting. Still, it was nothing he couldn’t handle. They all were tired, hunk especially after carrying the queen almost three miles. 

All of their hearts dropped when they crossed a hill to see five soldiers guarding their lions, no doubt waiting for them to get back. 

“Let’s sneak around,” Hunk proposed. “They haven't seen us yet so we could go around and attack from behind.” Lance and Keith agreed and they started walking, but their whole plan unraveled when Keith stepped on a large chunk of ice that shattered loudly.

The soldiers heard and started started shooting while the paladins summoned their shields. “Lance, stay back,” Keith told him.

Lance assessed the situation carefully and decided he needed to take action. “No,” he told keith. He advanced on the fighters who were still shooting and activated his bayard. He set it to Stun so he wouldn’t seriously injure the guards, and he started calculatingly shooting. He heard keith shout variations of ‘what are you doing?’ and ‘get back!’ but by the time keith and hunk had their bayards activated to help, all the guards were on the ground, unconscious. 

Lance deactivated his shield and beyard and clapped his hands together, a small proud smile on his face. That smile fell when keith ran up to him. “What were you thinking?!” He scolded lance. “I told you, two times, to stay out of combat! And so did shiro!”

“Keith, calm down,” hunk tried, “everything turned out ok-” 

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?” Keith kept drilling, ignoring hunk. Lances anger was rising. “What’s with you and trying to be the hero all the time!? You did it on the galra ship and you did it here!”

That did it. Lance exploded. “I didn’t leave myself on a galra ship with an insane galra lady to ‘be the hero all the time’! I did it because it was the only thing to do! You don’t know what it was like to look up at the castle of lions and know that everyone in it will be dead in a few minutes. You don’t know what it was like when i decided to sacrifice myself! Do you think i wanted to? Because i didn’t at all! I was terrified and i wanted to fly up on blue and just die along side you guys, but i knew i couldn’t do that. I wasn't ‘being the hero all the time’! It was the only thing to do, just like how shooting those soldiers was the only thing to do,” He said, gesturing to the five unconscious soldiers on the ground. The two boys faces were contorted in rage as hunk stayed back, looking between the two of them. “So the next time all of us are in danger, maybe i’ll stop ‘being the hero’ and let you all get killed!” 

Lance shouted the last line louder than the rest. He said it so loudly he actually strained his abdomen, making the bullet and stab wound throb. He let out an involuntary grunt of pain and clutched his stomach. For a second, keith's face fell into a look of concern for lance, but then he went right back to being angry. “What do you mean it was ‘the only thing to do’? Me and hunk were right here, we could’ve easily taken down the soldiers! You just feel weak because of your injuries and have some desire to prove yourself, not caring if you get hurt again!”

Lance was so angry, he couldn’t even elaborate and give keith the explanation to the question he asked. Frustration filled his body and he had to put all his energy into not kicking keith, instead, he kicked the ground as hard as he could, showering keith with snow. “Lets just go back to the ship so i can get away from you as soon as possible, you dick.” He climbed into the blue lion without another word and took off before keith and hunk had even started walking to their lions. In the distance they saw the white beam of light eject out of the flare.

When they got back to the castle, shiro and pidge were already there, waiting for them. “Hey, how’d the mission… go,” shiro asked as keith and lance angrily walked past him, going in different directions. “Uh oh. What happened?” Shiro asked, turning to hunk. After he explained, shiro went to lance's room first. 

He entered it to see lance angrily pacing. “Is everything okay?” he asked lance. 

“Yeah,” Lance said sarcastically, his words lined in anger, “Just dandy.” He took off his helmet and threw it at the wall above his bed. If the wall wasn’t metal, there definitely would’ve been a dent in it. 

“Keith was just worried about you,” Shiro said, making lance stop in his tracks.

“Yeah? Well he’s got a funny way of showing it.”

Shiro inhaled sharply, knowing what he was about to say would make lance even angrier. “Maybe he’s… right. We did tell you not to advance. Hunk and keith could have handled it.”

Like he expected, Lance exhaled sharply out his nose and raised his voice even louder. “None of you get it! During the ice castle battle, i fought a few warriors who had the guns the soldiers at the lions did. They don’t shoot a predictable amount of bullets, there’s no pattern to it. It makes it so they’re unpredictable and impossible to dodge, which keith would have had to do since he has a sword. Even though hunks bayard can rapid fire, it’s not the best at aiming, and those soldiers are fast. By the time hunk could shoot down one or two of them, the others would have spread out and gotten to him.” as he talked, lance started to calm down a bit, but anger still ran through his veins. “It was the best option for me to advance because i'm the fastest and best shooter, i had my shield at the ready, and i knew how their guns work. I thought this all through before i advanced, i wasn’t being reckless or ‘being the hero’.”

All the sudden shiro felt like a jerk. “Oh,” he said. 

“Yeah,” lance relied, crossing his arms. “‘Oh.’”

“I’m sorry i jumped the gun. Why didn’t you just explain that to keith?”

“Because he was so angry he wouldn’t even try to listen! Besides, i don’t owe him an explanation, he should have trusted me from the start.”

“He just cares about you. I think he got angry to cover up the fact that he was scared you’d get hurt again. He’ll cool off, and you should talk to him.”

“If he wants to talk, he better be coming to me, because i'm not going to him first.” 

Shiro went to find keith next. He wasn’t in his room, so he wandered around the castle looking for him. He found him in the kitchen, angrily scooping up some food good and shoving it in his mouth. He looked furious. 

“Hey,” shiro said. 

“What?!” keith snapped, holding his spoon tightly in his fist. Shiro didn’t know how someone could use a spoon as a weapon, but keith looked ready to. 

“I, uh, just talked to lance.” keith's eyebrows furrowed at the name, but shiro continued on. “He actually gave me a good explanation for what happened.”

“And that is?”

“I’m not telling you. You’ll have to go talk to him yourself.”

“Yeah, like that will happen. I bet there isn’t even an explanation, he justs wanted to go and get himself hurt again.”

“I know you’re angry, but some of the stuff you said… may have been a bit uncalled for.”

Keiths glare softened a bit and he looked down at his food goo. “Okay, maybe i shouldn’t have said a few of the things i did, but that doesn't change the fact that lance ignored us and advanced on his own.” his voice had lost it’s anger. “I just… don’t want him to get hurt again.”

“I know you don’t. Go talk to lance, he’ll explain everything.” Shiro placed his hand firmly on keiths shoulder and walked away. 

Five days went by and the boys still didn’t talk to each other. In Fact, they avoided each other at all costs. Lance didn’t ask to go on any more missions, and he spent most of his time hanging out with pidge and hunk. If keith entered the room, he’d leave. Lance didn’t even attend dinners with the group. He’d just get some food at midnight. He wasn’t sleeping, because he couldn’t. Without keith there, his bedroom alone felt empty. His nightmares had returned so lance simply didn’t sleep. The only rest he got was in the healing pod, which was even more plagued by dreams. 

Lance was more angry than keith. What shiro had said was true, Keith only got angry because he was trying to cover up how worried he was, so has the days went by, his anger dissolved, leaving him with the regret of worry. He wanted to apologize to lance, but he couldn’t work up the courage. 

Even with Lance being more angry, he started to get lonley pretty quickly after the fight. He missed keith and he didn’t like being angry at him. He thought about what shiro had said, and he started thinking about things from keiths point of view. If keith was the one who got shot, stabbed, and tortured on the galra ship, lance would want him out of trouble. He’d be worried sick about him getting injured again, and that's how keith thought about lance. He didn’t forgive him for some of the things he said, and he still believed keith should have trusted that he knew what he was doing, but lance just missed keith. 

The dynamic of the whole ship was out of sorts. Keith was distracted and didn’t perform well in training and on missions. The absence of lance at the group meals stuck out like a sore thumb. The whole group had to tread lightly whenever they hung out with keith or lance so they wouldn’t say the wrong thing and make them angry again. Pidge and Hunk tried organizing plans to get the two back together, but shiro assured them they’d make up. 

Lance sat on his bed, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. After thinking about everything that had happened and motivated by his utter loneliness, he shot up and made his way to keiths room. 

When the door of his room hissed open, he saw keith standing in front of him, his fist raised to knock on the door lance just opened. They both were a bit startled to see the other standing there, but like they could read each other's thoughts, they both blurted out “I’m sorry.”

They sat down on lance's bed to have a conversation. Lance started. He explained why he had advanced on those soldiers and told keith what he told shiro. “I should’ve just gone to you sooner to explain, but i was being stubborn and i was just blinded by anger i guess. I was mad because i expected you to trust me and trust that i knew what i was doing, and i got mad when you didn’t. I was thinking about how i would have felt if the situation was reversed and i understood why you got angry. I might… not agree with some of the stuff you said while you were angry, but i get it.” Keith admired lance for the first time all week. He still smelled like roses, his hair still laid as perfectly as always, keith's heart ached at how much he missed lance. 

Keith put his hand on lances knee in a kind gesture, making lance's heart jump as it always did around keith. “I’m the one that should be apologizing, not you. I got too angry and i didn’t think things through. I said stuff i know was hurtful and not true, and i take it all back. I should have talked to you at the beginning so we could’ve worked stuff out.” Keith took a deep breath and scooted closer to lance. He put his head on lance's shoulder, like he loved to do. “I was just- it’s just… I got really scared when i saw you advanced. The soldiers were shooting at you and i was waiting for one of the bullets to hit you, so when you took them all down and you were fine, so many of my emotions mixed and i just turned to anger. It wasn’t that i don’t trust you, i do, i was just terrified of something happening to you after all you’ve already endured.”

Lance smiled, and he felt the lightest he’s felt in days. “Next time, lets just talk things through.” He held out his arms and keith did the same after moving his head off lance. They hugged and lance buried his head in keith's neck, taking in everything he missed in their week apart. He felt comforted and supported again, and he looked back at the fight as the petty argument it was. “I missed you.” 

They separated and keith cupped his hand around lances cheek, pulling him in for a light but deep kiss. Fireworks went off, the world around them disappeared, they both filled with happiness. They missed this. 

“Hey lance, can you help me wi-” Pidge said, entering the room with a hiss. She saw the two of them and her nose scrunched up. “Ugh, you two need to get a room.”

“Uh, this is my room. We do have a room. It’s this one. You’re in it,” Lance pointed out with a raised eyebrow and a smile on his face. 

“Oh, right. Well, i'm glad you two are back together or whatever. Hunk will be thrilled.” and with that, she left the room. 

Keith and Lance relocated to the star room with the couches and blankets. They sat close together, keith's head resting on lance's shoulder as they caught up about all the stuff they missed. Keith talked about the missions the team went on while lance talked about how he was healing. 

Lance was almost completely healed. He talked about how he’s starting to accept the fact that the scars he has will be there forever, ands it's better to get over it than try to ignore it. Although intense workouts could make his abdomen a little sore, the bullet and stab wound were almost closed and lance feels himself getting his strength back. 

He told keith about how although he’s still having the dreams, he wants to start fighting to get through them instead of just trying not to sleep. Lance wanted to get better more than anything, and he told keith that. 

Hearing Lance talk about all that made keith's chest fill with warmth. He remembered how hidden lance was after shiro disappeared, and how complicated he had gotten. Back then, things were so dismal. There was no hope. They didn’t know where shiro was, Lance was stuck inside his own head, and keith wasn't ready to start dealing. 

But now, there was so much hope. Even after everything that happened with lance, the future was looking up. Lance was getting better, they’d go back to earth soon, and keith and lance were together. There was no other place to look but up. 

Keith smiled as his head rest against lance and he listened to him talk about things like his family and old memories from the garrison. He seemed so… happy. And so was keith. 

After all that had happened, they were together, and alive. Keith didn’t think he could ever love a person as much as he did lance, and even looking at him reminded keith of everything they’d been through to get to this point. 

He leaned over and pressed a firm kiss to lance's mouth, cutting him off mid sentence. He tried to put everything he felt into that kiss. All the emotion, all the love. He tried sending lance a message that went beyond words, and it worked. 

“What was that for?” Lance asked, smiling slightly his eyes twinkling. 

“I love you,” Keith said to sum it up. 

Lance looked at him and thought about everything they had been through, just as keith had thought about. Lance didn’t want to be hidden anymore, he didn’t want complications, and he was moving past it all. 

He kissed keith back to return the message. He put a hand on his cheek and looked into the purple eyes he was so fond of. “I love you, too.”

The two of them stayed that way all night, cuddled together as stars surrounded them.

Their love had been growing for a long time. Waiting to finally shine, and now it was. 

They were beautiful, their love was beautiful, and nothing would ever compare to how the two felt about each other. 

They were beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saying "thank you" doesn't sum up how grateful i am for the people who stuck by this fic and read it to the end! You all made this possible.
> 
> please please please leave kudos and tell me what you think of the fic! I love any feedback and it means more to me than you know.
> 
> please subscribe, because after s3 of voltron comes out, im going to be working on a huge klance Percy Jackson/Voltron fic ;) it's gonna be great. 
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading and staying with me on this story. I'm sad it's over but looking back on it, im just really proud. 
> 
> Until next time! 
> 
> Tumblr: Lanceisthebest


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